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Consumables #141 Reading: Modern Romance

This weekend was slow and sultry, and as such I didn’t venture too far from home all weekend. I had a bit of an intense work week and felt quite dipped in overtaxed glaze by Friday, so I was ready to marinate in some 90 degree weather and shush my brain up. We did end up going to a cornhole party, where it turns out I do not suck as bad at that game than in years past, which makes sense because what is cornhole but a game built for the antique human. We played a few games, ate some potato salad, and chatted with friends until after the sun went down and we continued to sit in our lawn chairs to become All-You-Can-Eat mosquito smorgasbord. I love summer.

I have a friend who I know through this here blog, and she’s one of the few blog friends that I have connected with for years but have yet to meet in person. Through our correspondence over the years, we took the blog friendship to the next level. To use dating parlance, blog-related comments was first base, emailing was second, and becoming Facebook friends takes it to third. Yeah, that’s right, I just equated Facebook friending to getting handsy below the equator. DEAL WITH IT. Anyway, we have been friends for years. I knew her before she had kids, and now she has two little school age kiddos. I consider her a friend, no less a friend than someone I’ve met in the flesh. She lives in the Midwest, in a state I haven’t visited since high school and I don’t know if and when we’ll ever meet each others’ faces.

One day I commented on something on her Facebook page, and someone else commented after me, and I was like WAIT A HOT MINUTE, because I knew this other commenter from a completely separate part of my life. Commenter was a friend of my friend in Seattle, and I was dying to know how these two random people knew each other. This weekend, Commenter was at the cornhole party, and I got a chance to ask her. Her answer? They are blog friends. Have been for years. Huh. The internets are so cuckoo.

I recently read Modern Romance, by Aziz Ansari. Unlike the proliferation of books written by tv comedy people (hi Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Nick Offerman, Mindy Kaling, et al), this one is less a humor book and more a sociology book that’s written with a funny tone. Ansari teams up with a sociologist from NYU (and talks with many more sociologists) to explore dating and relationships in the digital age. They did tons of focus groups around the world and combed through existing studies to explore questions like: what are behavioral differences between relationships that start out online versus in person? How is communication affected by the proliferation of texting? I found the whole thing totally fascinating (despite a few unfortunate fat jokes- ugh, Aziz, I love you but you gotta interrogate your fat jokes and then stop that). Although the book is about romantic relationships, I found a lot of it relevant to friendships as well. As a person who has found several of my very favorite people through this blog, I can vouch for the realness of online connection. If you’re interested in learning more about this topic plus getting some yuks out of it, read Ansari.

Here’s my current summer jam while I am feeling slow and sultry, y’all.

Summertime, by Vince Staples

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Happy Presidentine’s Day

This weekend! It was perFECtion. Turns out that when you combine two holidays that seem somewhat rubbish, it adds up to all good things. Valentines for President’s Day, Presidents for Valentine’s Day. Mix ’em up and serve it up and I will EAT IT.

The week had kicked my booty to the max so on Friday night I turned down an offer from some lovely friends of mine who wanted to go out to get our dance pants on, in favor of some good old fashioned Chinese takeout, glazed staring, sofa sitting, and going to sleep by 8:30. I felt a little bad missing the dancing because there is little else that I love more than a booty shake, but that Friday night decompression, it felt like a million dollarinis. Plus the dancing wouldn’t have even gotten started until after 9pm and who are you kidding with that sort of start time on a Friday? Not this fool.

On Saturday we went to the movies where we walked by lines that were easily hundreds of people long who were all waiting to see Fifty Shades of No Thanks. We waltzed by all of them in order to see a modestly attended Imitation Game. I know, it was Valentine’s Day so perhaps we should have seen something romantical or racy…My coworker told me that her mom mispronounces the actor’s name as “Benedict Cummersnatch,” so we can mark that down as enough ribaldry for this crew.

Another thing that happened this weekend was the SUN CAME OUT. This resulted in our very first meal outside on our deck in 2015! WITH NO COATS ON EVEN. This year is going to be the Year of Deck Living at our house, y’all, and I cannot WAIT.

Then on Sunday we got to hang out with my dear friend from ye olde early blogging days, Rachel. I think she, along with our friend Maddie, may have been the very first blog friends I ever converted into IRL friends from this very blog way back in dinosaur times when I started writing on the interwebbery. She and her manfriend Bryan were in town from California and we traipsed around Seattle sunshine for the afternoon, hung out at our house a bit, went out to fancy dinnering, and wrapped up with some gelato (it probably wasn’t quite warm enough for late night gelato but I was sun drunk from the day). I love that lady- she’s just a goddamn delight. Thanks, blog!

Monday I wrapped up my weekend by cleaning my house, doing laundry, and watching hours upon hours of the latest season of Sister Wives. So you know, I slid out of there with a bang.

PRESIDENTIALVALENTINAL YIP YIP

Cupid, Sam Cooke

2014 Finito

2014 is about to go into the garbage can, fellas! Ima do this year end quiz one more time. Uno, two, trois, go!
1. What did you do in 2014 that you’d never done before?
I had my first tarot reading ever, and it was full of surprising and auspicious predictions, which I thoroughly do not believe in yet I was stuffing it all right into my brain and heart and guts because even though I am not superstitious, I still don’t need to be suspicious about stuff that is auspicious. That was fun to say. Let’s throw some more in. Wishes, fishes, bootylicious.
2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I actually, for the first time maybe ever, made resolutions last year! 100 books read? CHECK. 100 movies watched? I think I saw maybe 40 movies this year. Two-fifths CHECK. Take a photo a day? Not every day, but I did take a butt-ton more photos this year. BUTT-TON CHECK. 100 dates with people I like? NO IDEA. How did I think I was going to track that without being psycho? Uncheck.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No? Can that be true? I feel like there have been babies popping out everywhere every year for many years now. Was this the first baby-less year? I sort of can’t believe it. I must be having tot amnesia right now.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, but there was an extremely close call earlier this year that was effing awful and scared the living bloomers off of me.
5. What trips did you take?
All the usual suspects: Michigan, Chicago, New York, Bay Area, Portland. Plus I was dipped in the nutbarn that is Vegas, and I am never to be the same again.
6. What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014?
Remember that whole Anger Potato thing I was talking about before? Yeah, I was mad about some stuff earlier this year. Like, stifling mad. I am glad to say that the anger potato has passed, finally, and I am hoping for less of that crap next year.
7. What date from 2014 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Fixy’s birthday was super duper fun in 2014. We rode a ferris wheel! We had a warm day in January! We went to the opera and watched a lady kick the bucket while singing her face off!
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
This year was a rebuilding year, after the shit show of 2013. I took a lot of care of myself and healed a lot. It was slow going.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Eh, I don’t want to talk about it.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Not really, although I took two falls this year. One was at the beginning of the year when I somehow convinced myself, against my better judgment, that ice skating was a good idea, which anyone can tell you is wrong if you just think about the dumbness of strapping razor like blades to one’s shoes and then locomoting onto ice. I mean, what kind of bull-feces is that? Second time was just a few weeks ago, so apparently 2014 was brought in and out with my ass kissing the floor. What does this symbolize about the year? Hmmm.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Our spontaneous decision to fly to California to see Baryshnikov perform was kind of the best. Aside from being amazing and fun, just the fact that we up and did it last minute when we really had no business doing anything of the sort was pretty sweet.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
I had lots of work-related hoo-hah that was celebratory-worthy.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
See: anger potato.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Building our deck! Our lovely, monstrous deck! Our Tyrannosaurus Decks! It was built too late in the year for us to really use, but 2015? YEAR OF DECK PARTAYS AND HOE-DOWNS.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Going to Chicago to see Alli and Map, my homies who know mes.
16. What song will always remind you of 2014?
Cool Kids, by Echosmith, for many reasons.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Way happier. WAY WAY happier. Like, happier times a kajillion.
ii. thinner or fatter? Well, my mom is in town and stuffing my face with baked goods, so probably fatter?
iii. richer or poorer? Richer, just a touch.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Hanging out with my peeps, especially Biogirl. She moved to the burbs and it was like we had to have passports to get to each other.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Mowing my yard.
20. How did you spend the holidays?
With my mom, bro, sister-in-law, nephew, and dude. It was hella fun. I am lucky to have a rad fam.
22. Did you fall in love in 2014?
Oh that dude of mine makes me so gushy.
23. How many one-night stands?
This question is so DUMMMMMMB
24. What was your favorite TV program?
The Good Wife and John Oliver. How can The Good Wife just keep getting better and better like that? How can John Oliver make me laugh at depressing news items? These are the mysteries of tv times.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No.
26. What was the best book you read?
Women in Clothes. I wanted to EAT THE PAGES I loved it so much.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I don’t know- lots. I liked Sylvan Esso a bunch. Also that Lemonade song by Danity Kane was sort of my jam for a while. I am sinking in to the new D’Angelo. FKA Twigs. Just, lots.
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
The Lunchbox got me squarely in my innards.
29. What did you do on your birthday?
Not much on my actual birthday, but right around then, I took a trip to New York. I cannot even tell you how it made me feel. After the hellish festival of horrible that was 2013, I had been feeling better all year, bit by bit, but right around my birthday was the tipping point in my year where I needed a balls out fantastic time to remember myself fully. My beloved pal Maddie plus my beloved NYC made it happen. The. Best. Time. Sewed up my soul.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
The other day I was at a meeting and we had to go around the table and, as an ice breaker, tell the group an interest we have outside of work. One person, clearly a for reals genius, said “sleep.” I was so taken with this person and this answer that I sort of stared at them for a minute. THIS IS A PERFECT ANSWER. I think she thought I was mean-mugging her, I was looking so thunderstruck. Anyway, to answer this question: more sleep.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?
I love apparel. This year my fashion concept stayed much the same (I am choosy as a Jiffy-choosing mom when it comes to fashion) but I did expand my repertoire a bit. Like for instance, pants. I branched out into pants! This is a huge broadening of horizon for me. 2014! The year I joined The SIsterhood of the Wearing of Pants!
32. What kept you sane?
My guy. Or maybe he kept me insane. One of those.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I spent an inordinate amount of time contemplating the Kardashians. I have theories upon theories about them. I feel like a Kardashian savant. Literally no one in my life cares about this, much the way you must feel right now.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Events in Ferguson and all intersecting issues around it.
35. Who did you miss?
My dad.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
I met another blog friend- this time it was Aine from the UK, who swung through Seattle and contacted me to say hello. She was a frigging delight.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014:
Healing takes time and patience, and some things can never heal, but instead may just change. Sounds trite, but it’s true.
38. A song lyric that sums up your year.

Breakfast, by Kelis:

Sometimes it’s just so dark/And I can’t see past my hand
But you’re solid as a rock/You’re everything I love
And I done all that I can/You told me still stand
When it’s said and done/I am just what I am

So much of who we are/Is from who taught us how to love
So much of who we are/Is from who first taught us how to love

This is the real thing
The real thing about us
Welcome to the world

Happy New Year, everyone. Love to you in 2015.

Go go Chicago

I took a trip to Chicago over the weekend that was as long as the blink of an eye. While there, I stayed with my friencess Alli and her hubs/my home fry, Chris. My other friend/fave Map drove her ass all the way from the Detroit area to see me for a less-than-24-hour period before turning around and driving all the way back. What kind of friends do I have? The loveliest. During this trip, we ate the deepest of deep dish pizzas (oh dear cheezus, that was good), we supportive-shopped with Map to find a decent pair of jeans (unsuccessfully), we froze our everloving nutsacks off (ok, maybe that was just wimpy Seattle-ite me), Chris made me cry laughing over something called “glottal scratching,” and Alli made me stay up til 2am in order to watch (oy yoy yoy) Hot Tub Time Machine because her love for the Cusack is like no other love in the land. After all of that, I pretty much felt like I had been run over by a truck, but in the last few hours of the trip I managed to squeeze in a lunch with The Maiden Metallurgist and her fam, which included possibly the two cutest little kiddos in the state of Illinois. (The fam includes two little kiddos, not the lunch. I did not eat those babies although I possibly could have). The Metallurgist family put up with my Hot Tub Time Machine hangover (you guys, that movie made me ILL, for real I was feeling green) and once again I recommend getting to know your blog friends. Or maybe the key is to get to know my blog friends.

By the time I got on the plane I felt like I was on my way to coming home sick, but so far today I have held it together. In any event, the lightning speed trip was worth it. If I do get sick though, I blame you, Cusack.

Bye, Chicago.

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Dizz gives me a quiz

My lovely blog friend from across the Atlantic, writer of dizzntizznfizz, name checked me in a little bloggy questionnaire the other day (and YES, Dizz, we will hang out in person someday!), and therefore, I shall take her 20 things quiz. (I have all the trouble in the world remembering how to spell questionnaire. Questionairre? Questionaire? Questloveaire? Ugh).

1. How tall are you?
5’4″ which I know is a common height, but I feel short. I am forever unable to reach top shelves, it seems.

2. Do you have a hidden talent? If so, what?
I can’t think of anything that I’m hiding. If I have a talent, yo, I’ll share it (please say that to the Vanilla Ice line: “if you gotta problem, yo, I’ll solve it”).

3. What’s your biggest blog-related pet peeve?
I guess when spammers make it through to my Comments section. If we expand it to social media in general, I am always a bit embarrassed when people use public social media to have a conversation that seems better done using something more private, like a text or email. I’m not talking about anything weird or humiliating, but just even mundane things. Like, if someone on Twitter asks me to meet them for lunch on Twitter, for any other followers to see, it makes me uncomfy. It’s like being in a crowded party and having someone shout across the room to you to plan a lunch date, making everyone else hear it, for no reason. Just direct message, is all I’m saying. That said, I am sure I have done this at some point, without thinking about it that way, so maybe the moral of the story is: Peevicians, peeve thyself.

4. What’s your biggest non-blog related pet peeve?
Oh, so many. Now that I am thinking about it, I have peeves upon peeves. I am Mario Van Peevels. Let’s just go with a few off the top of my head. I do not like it when people treat old people like children. I am peeved by people who take up more than one seat on the bus. I am peeved when people show disdain for people who have plastic surgery (why is this a thing that we feel we can be so casually unkind about? I do not get it). I am peeved by (is this even a correct way to express peeves? “I am peeved by?”) catcalling. DROWNING IN PEEVES.

5. What’s your favorite song?
Who the HECK can answer this question? One song? I don’t think so! I’ll say Harvest Moon is up there: my dude and I have danced to it a time or two or a hundred and it’s romantical.

6. What’s your favourite Etsy shop that isn’t yours?
I don’t have one. But! My most favorite thing I bought off of Etsy was a Lloyd Dobler necklace made by Missbluebirdandoscar, which I gave to Alli because I knew she would lo-oo-oo-ve it. I love gifting.

7. What’s your favorite way to spend your free time when you’re alone?
Reading or taking a walk. Listening to an audiobook while taking a walk equals a chocolate-and-peanut-butter situation.

8. What’s your favorite junk food?
Popsicles or ice cream in warm weather (and sometimes even in cold weather). Dried mango slices are also a current fave, although they have to be a certain level of dried (not too), and a certain thickness of slice. I have a couple of mango slice hook-ups and I don’t stray from those, because MANGO DIVA.

9. Do you have a pet or pets?
No. This is one of those questions that makes me feel like I have to qualify it by talking about how much I adore animals, etc. It is the same feeling I have when people ask me if I have kids. But this time, I’m just going to say no, I don’t, and not do the list of qualifiers.

10. What are your number one favorite fiction and non-fiction books?
Ugh, this is even worse than the favorite song question! I will just name two that I loved, even if I can’t claim to have favorites. Fiction: Last Night at the Lobster, by Stuart O’Nan. I love how kind O’Nan is to his characters. Nonfiction: Looking White People in the Eye, by Sherene Razack, because it kind of got me through college.

11. What’s your favorite beauty product? 
I know it’s not glamorous, but I love my Keihl’s lotion. It’s expensive but worth it. Ain’t nobody walking around ashy over here with Keihl’s on the case!

12. When were you last embarrassed? What happened?

I really cannot think of a truly embarrassing situation that has happened to me recently. I guess I am due. Crap.

13. If you could only drink one beverage (besides water) for the rest of your life what would it be?
Does flavored fizzy water count? I’m going to say it counts. I love me my bubble water.

14. What’s your favorite movie?
Sheeeeeet. Even harder still than the music/books questions! Adam’s Rib? How to Marry a Millionaire? The Bicycle Thief? I don’t know.

15. What were you in high school: prom queen, nerd, cheerleader, etc.

Part of no group, part of every group. I felt friendly with everyone, yet didn’t “belong” but never had an expectation to. I guess I was an arty kid, with the dance school times and theater times, but I was friends with everyone who wasn’t a jerk, and I found those people regardless of cliques. There is a trick to being peripheral, weaving in and out, and that’s what I did, and it worked for me.

16. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?
New York City, if I felt like I could afford it, which I do not.

17. PC or Mac?
Both.

18. Last romantic gesture from your man?
Oh, I see romance in so many things he does. Like, he is spending his morning today calling furnace fixers in Michigan for my mom, whose furnace is on the fritz. The way he is sweet to her is romantic to me. Is that weird?

19. Favorite celebrity?
Oh celebrities…Tig Notaro, Jessica Williams, Jenny Slate, Maria Bamford. Smart, funny ladies are the best.

20. What blogger do you secretly want to be best friends with?
Anne Helen Peterson from Celebrity Gossip, Academic Style, or Kat Chow from NPR’s Code Switch.

Anyone else want to do this? Do it up, and tell me so I can peep your’n.

My Surly Punk Rock Phase

Check out this photo that I discovered of myself while I was at my mom’s last week.

 

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This is the baddest ass in the motherfracking west, is it not? Is she not PISSED? Have you ever seen such a punk rock attitude on a little half pint? THE HAIR, DON’T CARE. The pants, THUG LIFE. The zipper, FUCK OFF DO I LOOK LIKE ZIPPING IS IMPORTANT TO MY LIFE? This is the face of someone who wants to give the next knucklehead who looks at her the BEAT DOWN.

I do not know where this was taken. I do not know what the hell I was so mad about. I have lots of photos from my childhood, and it is vastly documented that I was a cheery, smiley, happy child. I do not ever recall seeing a photo of little me looking so bent out of shape. I love it so much.

The day I found this photo was not a good day for me. The day was total garbage, in fact. But I found this photo, it made me chuckle, and so I posted it to Facebook. And then, just a few minutes later? My friend Josh (of Maiden Metallurgist fame) posted this back:

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Gritty Foreman (Forebaby) keeps tabs on the workers. She shoves them off if dissatisfied.

And also this:

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Batman and Batbaby are so sad. No one understands us so we must go avenge something.

And my personal favorite:

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Don and Joan are so happy about the leaves. It’s sad, though, because Surly Baby will soon murder them.

You guys. Such a bad day I was having and this turned it all around. Some days it doesn’t take much.

Food and friends and also jumpers

Last week I got a message from an internet friend from the Twitters. Her name is Aine, she’s a librarian, and she and her bf were visiting Seattle for a few days from jolly old England. We met up for a short visit one afternoon last week and she was a total delight. I have the best internet-to-IRL encounters, you guys! Just top shelf, every last one of them. Aine is a funny, smart, nice-as-can-be librarian (with a royal blue skirty trench coat that was the cuteness), and I could have listened to her talk all the livelong day. I mean, good conversation, what is better? Plus, when she said that she was glad that, considering Seattle weather, she had packed some “wooly jumpers,” I could have died from the accent alone. WOOLY JUMPAHS! I want to have every opportunity to say and hear WOOLY JUMPAHS every day of my life.

This weekend was supposed to be rainy, but ended up being quite a nice springy weekend. The kind where you may leave your coat at home and just tool around feeling fine in your wooly jumpah. Nordic Boy and I stayed in Friday night and caught up with the teevee, and then spent a lot of Saturday doing all of our chores. We cleaned the house, paid some bills, weeded some weeds, grocery shopped, hardware stored, all that kind of thing. (An aside: I sort of love the word “chore” because in Hindi a “chore” is a thief. So “doing a chore” sounds sort of like you are having grown up sexy touching times with a burglar or something. Aren’t you glad you don’t live inside my mind?) Then that night we met up with Delium for dinner, where we sat at our table and talked for almost four hours. Now that I am thinking about it, I hope we left a really good tip after hogging that table like that. Shit. Now that’s going to bug me for days.

On Sunday, because we had done all of the chores (ha ha), we spent the day just being all leisurely. We read in bed in the morning, we made pancakes for a late breakfast, we went on a long walk, we made some phone calls, we made food for the week, we took a nap. Just good solid Sunday stuff. That night, we met up with Biogirl and her man to celebrate the date of Biogirl birth. We went to a fancy restaurant and ordered the tasting menu, chock full of things half of which I do not even know what they were. The salad had freeze dried grapes on top, for example, which seemed half fancy and also half like really tasty camping food. Anyway, it was one of those meals where, after I ate it, I was pretty sure I was going to be full for the rest of my days.

That’s what’s up in my world lately, everyone. Food and talking to nice people. It’s not a bad life I have.

 

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No Talking Time

Have you ever taken one of those Myers Briggs tests- you know the one where it tells you how introverted or extroverted you are? Is that a legit thing? The test, I mean? I have skepticism about such categorizations but I have no basis for my skepticism, so I am also skeptical of my own skepticism. (Wow, dudes, I swear I am not even smoking a doobie right now). Anyway, I have taken that test a few times throughout my life and although I feel like I have gone through phases where I have a super crazy extroverted time (hello, early 20s) and then times when I have not wanted to talk to a single solitary soul for like, a year (hello 1994 and 2003), my results are always the same. I pretty much always fall right near the dead center between extrovert and introvert, with perhaps just a teeny leaning toward introvert.

I’m taking a trip to see some pals and my family, but first I stopped off in one of my favorite towns for three days so I could indulge the introvert half of my innards. Madison, where I lived for one year back in the 90s when I was a youngster, holds a special place in my heart because it is, more than anywhere else, a place where my life totally changed. I was one person before I moved there, and a different one after I left there, some of that for the better and some of it not, and it’s hard to explain the whole enchilada but suffice it to say I just love that town.

So I checked myself into a cute inn and proceeded to spend hours and hours by myself, wandering aimlessly and thinking about Big Things and nothing at all. Three days may not seem like a long time, but when was the last time you did nothing but pay attention to your own thoughts for three days? It felt crazy extravagant.

All this contemplative stuff did have two fun breaks- I met up with MetaLeah and her trophy husband for dinner one night, and another night MetaLeah and I met up with Katie, a longtime blog friend who is now an in-person friend. My streak of awesome blog friends who turn out to be more awesome in person continues! I managed to snap out of my introspective haze for each event and form words of communication. At least I hope I did.

Thanks, Madison.

Consumables #64

Hey wow, you guys. Just when I write something pretty grumpy, you come back at me with such niceness and making-me-feel-better-ness. I got so many lovely emails and messages. Just goes to show you that despite all my complaining, people are so lovely. At least you are. Thank you so much. If you wrote me, I promise I will write you back- I am still catching up with that.

My dad is out of ICU as of yesterday (woo hoo!) and so although he’s still in the hospital for now, things are back to normal levels of freaked out, rather than feelings-of-pukiness levels of freaked out. Which hey, I will so take that.

I don’t know quite how to transition from that into talking about the teevees and what’s silly in my world, but hey, you know me, I will just babble into it. Back to our regularly scheduled doofiness. My weekend was pretty low-key- the kind where I pretty much stayed in my house all the livelong day each day, but I did make it out to the first barbecue party of the year, and dudes, I had to leave by 8pm even though I was having fun, solely because I was turning into a popsicle. Seattle summers don’t often start before July every year (despite the entire greater metropolitan area bitching and moaning about it in perfect unison starting in March, but- not to get all sciencey on you- did you know that the weather systems do not change based on the sheer force of complaints it receives? At least that is my understanding but do not ask me to show my work on that story problem). Anyway, we all got our asses outside and barbecued it up, wearing coats and gloves and scarves. I am always a bit jealous of those warm-blooded people in these situations, who don’t seem bothered at all and show up in their sandals when it’s 50 degrees out, while I fold into a ball and cry ice cube tears.

Ok, shut up about the mothersucking weather and get to some Consumables! There are so many! I am so backed up on Consumables! I need Correctol for ladies for my Consumables! (gross)

In the Teevee!

Flying Wild Alaska
Ok, I know that this seems like another one of those reality shows like Ice Road Truckers or whatever, and yes, it totally is that. So if you don’t think that watching bush pilots in Alaska who have to fly in crazy weather conditions appealing, maybe not so much. But here’s the thing that hooked me about the show- it does a really great job of highlighting the communities in this part of Alaska and how they live. Like, if someone gets sick on a reservation and they need to go the hospital, they depend on these bush pilots to get them there. Or, if they want to eat strawberries, like, ever. Also, I find the daughter of the main two pilots, Ariel, totes adorbs.

Game of Thrones
I have been putting off starting this series because just based on what people say about it, I knew that it would be one of those things that I would glom onto and not be able to look away from for days and days in a way that is probably not healthy. And, yes. This has happened. I have only watched about 4 episodes and I can’t wait to get back to it. Goodbye other things in life. See you when I am caught up on Game of Thrones. (As an aside: please tell me that things will get more complicated with the Dothraki folks, because dudes, that shit is racist so far).

Birdsong
Fleur Delecour/Eva from Gossip Girl gets romantical with a young soldier. It’s unrequited, it’s WWI, it’s Masterpiece Theatre, you get the picture.

Movies!
Left by the Ship
This documentary follows 4 adults (out of thousands) in the Phillipines who were fathered by US soldiers. Unlike many other countries, where the US has recognized similar populations of children, Filipino children are not recognized. The film did a good job of showing what the lives of the 4 children look like and how the circumstance of their birth affected them personally. I would have liked it more if it had gotten into more of the legal and political background of the situation.

Carol Channing: Larger Than Life
From the interviews and clips in this documentary, Carol Channing is as awesome and endearing as you might imagine her to be. I am fascinated with performers who are actors who really don’t act, or singers who really don’t sing. That whole “Carol Channing” thing that she does on stage? That’s really just how she is, for reals, if you can believe that, which I do. I am not saying there’s anything wrong with it- I am a fan, actually. I just find it totally intriguing that one could make a whole singing/acting career out of being a kooky lady. A hardworking kooky lady, don’t get me wrong, but you know what I mean?

Woman of the Year
I don’t know if I can express the joy I get out of a Spencer Tracy Katherine Hepburn movie. It’s just so delicious to me. And dang, that lady can rock a pantsuit like nobody since.

Barefoot in the Park
There is really nothing to this movie except for Jane Fonda and Robert Redford being gorgeous (sorry Neil Simon), and you know what? That is good enough for me.

Page One: Inside the New York Times
I don’t know that this illuminated me on anything in particular (newspapers are struggling, will the New York Times survive, what is the role of bloggers and tv news in relation to the NYT) but I still found it fascinating in a behind-the-scenes way. Just watching David Carr and Andrew Ross Sorkin et al run around doing their thing was cool. (Hi, nerd alert).

Books!

Washington Square, by Henry James
This was the book I took to New York with me, just because I wanted something extra New Yorky. I had never read any Henry James before, and for some reason I somehow got it into my head that he was (embarrassed librarian bomb about to go off, get ready) a sort of spooky writer, kind of like an Edgar Allen Poe type person. Where the HAIL I got that idea I don’t even know. So anyway, I really liked the book, but the entire time I was reading it I kept thinking “yes, yes, social manners, but where are the ghosts and stuff?” Turns out, I was thinking of M.R. James. Not Henry James. Major oopsy.

Stories I Only Tell My Friends, by Rob Lowe
As far as celebrity autobiographies go, it wasn’t the best, and it wasn’t the worst. Anyone who has been famous for as long as Rob Lowe has been has a vast collection of celebrity-filled stories. He dated Cary Grant’s daughter as a kid and hung out with her and her dad at their house. He knew John F. Kennedy Jr. He’s childhood besties with Charlie Sheen. However, he spends way, way too much time on his experience with The Outsiders. He also barely says anything about dating Melissa Gilbert for years which (1) Little House on the Prairie fans SERIOUSLY want to know about, and (2) has to suck for Melissa because in her autobiography she talks a lot about how much she was in luuuuuuv with that guy and now she barely gets a mention back? Ouch.

Doctor Proctor’s Fart Powder, by Jo Nesbo
Part of the reason I read this was because I knew I would be seeing Nesbo speak in New York, and I didn’t really want to read any of his grown up books at that particular time, so I went for his kid series. There is adventure, friendship, and farts. I know a lot of kids (hi, nephews) who would love this book. And some adults.

Fifty Shades of Grey, by E.L. James
Let me just say that I wanted to see what all the fuss was about, and now that I have read it, I still don’t see what all the fuss is about. It’s a mediocre romance with some spanking thrown in. Ok. I kept thinking… “and?” Chalk me up for I-don’t-get-it, party of one.

Breadcrumbs, by Anne Ursu
I probably should have written about this one first, because let’s face it, after all that mess up until now, who is still reading this? Oh well. If you’ve stuck with me this far, here’s what I have to say about this book. I loved it. It’s a kid book that transcends age, and a fantasy book that transcends genre. I felt like this book was talking to me and shit. Like, I was reading it, and thinking “book, can you see me?” If you have ever had a friend so super close that they felt like a part of the inside of you, and then that person didn’t want to be your friend anymore, and you had to ask yourself, “how hard am I willing to try to get this person back? Or do I just let them go?” this book may be talking to you too. I read it in a restaurant by myself and cried, like, right out in public and stuff. I am sure the waiter was concerned.

Hoo wee! That is all. Have a lovely week!

2011 kicks the bucket

Another holiday season behind us, and a fresh clean year has started just so that we can fill it up with our joys and fuck ups. We’ll have them both, but let’s hope for more joys. It was my sixth anniversary of the bloggie this past month, so now is a good time to thank you for stopping by to hear my mess every so often, and if you blog yourself, thanks for letting me read about what’s up with you. Writing is good, is what I have discovered, because I am always down for pointing out the obvious and claiming to have discovered it. Watch, I’ll do it again: pop tarts are probably not that great for you, healthwise, is what I have discovered.

Anyway. You guys are good blog friends, and I appreciate it.

Happiness, healthiness, love. These three I wish for you. And let’s face it, for me too, I won’t front.

Happy New Year.