Babe’ll go spastic, hip hop gains a classic

Part of my new year’s festivities included going to the Digable Planets reunion show. There was a time in my baby years that I wanted nothing  more than to be cool like Ladybug Mecca, and I had never had a chance to see them live in their heyday. I dressed up for the cold, grabbed a girlfriend, and headed out.

The show was everything I wanted it to be– I got my dance on (after relocating from where I started because somehow my initial spot was in the Weirdo-Stay-Seated section), and the crowd was joyfully giddy.

As my friend and I waited for the show to begin, there was a guy behind us that looked like Brian Austin Green playing a tv movie role as a raver. Glowing clothes, a jockey hat, knee socks. I immediately began to refer to him as Chuck Biskits because I recently heard this name during Trivial Pursuit and I deem it the best name ever. Chuck Biskits talked in a loud hyper chatter to his friends and his default response to everything anyone said, no matter how unsensational it was: SHUT UP!

Friend: I think Nora is getting a drink- she’ll be up in a minute.

Chuck Biskits: SHUT UP!

Either he was surprised by everyone at all times or he really wanted his friends to shut up, is my thought. The other thing that was cracking us up (yes, we paused our conversation every two minutes to listen to Chuck Biskits), was, well, everything he said.

Chuck Biskits: We should hang out more often. Actually no. Not hang out. We should CONNECT. PERSON TO PERSON.

Friend: Sure thing! We should make a plan this week.

Chuck Biskits: SHUT UP! Yes!

I think Digable Planets may have hired this guy and his friends, just for us, as their opening act. Their band name would be Chuck Biskits and the Shut Ups.

I can say all I want about Chuck, but at the end of the show, my friend and I were walking out amongst the sea of show-goers, and Chuck chased us down, his hand held high over the heads of the crowd, holding my friend’s lost scarf. “I’m so glad I found you guys!” he said, handing her the scarf. Thanks, Chuck. What a lovely thing to do. After making so much fun of you all night, I should probably SHUT UP.

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