A Summer Disregard, A Broken Bottle Top

Oh my GOURD, you guys. I HAVE MISSED YOU.

Time has had a squeeze around my bony little neck these days and I don’t really even understand why this is happening. I have to get this shit IN HAND like, immediamente. There are several things that are an indication to me that I need to look at the Man in the Mirror and ask him to Make a Change, and here are some of them.

  1. I do not have 15 minutes to write a blog post? Sucka please.
  2. Several times in the past month I have been the a-hole that doesn’t respond to a friend’s text. I do not want to be that a-hole, but alas, I have done it.
  3. I, without fail, talk to my mom on the phone every day. Except, I have to amend this statement to “I, with fail, talk to my mom on the phone every day.”

So this is me, having an intervention with myself. Self, I am concerned. Don’t be defensive, self. But you kind of need to get over yourself, because this has left Ridiculous and entered Dumb. I am here to help you. You can do this. If you do, I will promise to stop calling you Self. Because that is weird, self. Stop it.

MAKE THAT CHAAAAAAAAANGE

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