Consumables #128 Watching: Ocean’s Eleven

A thing I did the weekend after we went to the Bellagio was come home and give Ocean’s Eleven a re-watch. Ima go out on a limb and say that movie may be my favorite Vegas-based pop culture item. I love a heist, and I love a well-dressed man, so. That’s kind of all there is in that movie, no fillers, no by products.

These are some lessons we can all take away from Danny Ocean and the gang.

1. Tuxedos always look best when the bow tie is undone.

2. “Why are you doing this? And don’t say money.” Criminals who are already hella rich do their heisting for only two reasons. For revenge against other people with money that they hate, or just to challenge their criminal skills. It’s a sort of rarified, artisanal robbery, freshly brewed from the nicest ingredients.

3. When he gets intense, Andy Garcia almost, just almost, walks like George Jefferson.

4. This is the bummer of it all for me: Julia Roberts is the only lady for miles and miles and miles, and she only gets to do girly business like pine for the Cloon-dog, adjust her earrings while looking in mirrors, descend staircases with elegance, and think about nothing except those dang menfolk. Clooney and Garcia basically find 342 ways to say “don’t you worry your pretty head about it, little lady” throughout. Julia! You do not need that shit, girlfriend.

5. A good heist is something I will always sign up for.

6. This is definitely not the Vegas I went to.

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