Costume: Girl Who Bought a Coat on Time

Eep! It’s November tomorrow! Should I pretend that I am going to do NaBloPoMo and post every day for the month of November? I feel like I shouldn’t pretend. But maybe I will do it! Keep hope alive! Even though the liklihood is nearly zero!

I was on the phone with someone who recently moved away from Seattle to California and he asked me how the weather has been here and when I told him that it has been like a waterlogged geoduck with extra dank drizzle in the hizzle, he had the nerve to laugh with joy and tell me how happy this made him that he was not spending November in Seattle. I couldn’t blame him. I woulda been laughing too if I was dry enough, but it turns out you can get so wet as to not be able to ha ha.

But! You guys! I have accomplished something truly amazing. I have managed, somehow, to have done coat shopping for winter, BEFORE WINTER. Usually I am woefully under-coated each winter, because I forget (denial!) that winter is coming (you’d think I would remember it since the House Stark won’t ever shut up about it) until it is very very late, and then I start to look around when stock is already switching and blah blah no good coat. NOT THIS YEAR. I bought a nice rain coat months ago, and then a few weeks ago I bought a nice winter coat to wear for fancy times. I already had a dressed down winter coat (one of those puffy ones that looks like a sleeping bag with arms), and so here we are, BAM, three coats that cover most coat needs. Is it sad that these are the types of things in my life that make me feel like I really and truly am a goddamn grown up?

Happy Hall-and-Oates-aween, everyone! May you eat lots of candy, cut a face into a gourd of some sort, be terrified in a way that is somehow pleasant to you, and wear an outfit where you pretend to be someone else. I toyed with the idea of going through the entire holiday season saying “what’s that?” every time someone wished me a Happy Halloween or Merry Christmas or what have you, because that is what almost everyone said to me when I tried to wish them a happy Diwali last week, which I have to tell you, harshed my festive feelings, which is sad because I so rarely have holiday-related festive feelings. How you gonna say “what’s that” about Diwali, dudes?  20 per cent of the earth is celebrating Diwali but I am surrounded by “what’s that?”  Literally over a billion people be knowing what Diwali is, so I think maybe it should be something that some of us have heard of, even in passing. Anyone? Anyone? Oh never mind just go put on your dumb costume.

Anyhow. I have resentful holiday issues up the ying yang. This should not be a surprise to anyone.

Do not worry, I shall be hanging out with my nephew and his rugrat friends this evening and that will make it impossible for me to remain surly. I may have to say “what’s that?” in response to one Happy Halloween though. Just once. It will make me feel better. That plus I will be wearing a November-appropriate coat! HOLLA! (ween)

Be safe out there tonight, my lovelies.




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