One thousand blah blahs

A few posts ago, I got a little alert telling me that I had successfully posted one thousand times. Whoo! I typed out mil blah blahs! I certainly have never had any claim on quality around these parts, but I have stuck with writing (and I use that term as loosely as is humanly possible) posts for a long time, which is something, I guess. There have been lots of times that I have questioned why the heck I keep doing this, when most of the blogging community that I had found when I first started have all quit (and like, literally, they have almost allllll quit, and I have such fond memories of them and I miss reading them even now). I loved that community. It was so cool to meet people in blogland, and there are folks who I met from that in real life that I consider lifelong pals now, but of those, I can only think of two that still blog. So if not to exchange blah blahs with that community, then what? I have always had a very disconnected idea about who was following my blog; I am not one for looking at blog stats or numbers of followers, so it all seems a bit hazy to me. I feel like there are probably three people out there reading regularly at any given time, but that never bothered me none. So if not to gain followers, and if not to be part of a community, and if not to churn out quality, then what? The longer I do this, the less the external particulars matter. Which is akin to the way I feel about life in general, come to think of it. The older we get, the more we understand how little we know in terms of particulars, but there’s wisdom in that not knowing somewhere, even if it’s just wisdom about our own ignorance. Oy, papi, look at me trying to get hella deep! I promise you I have not been huffing a doobie.

Anyway. One thousand times, I’ve written a little message and thrown it out into nothingness. A very few times, those messages ping with someone and they send me a little message back via a comment. Even more rare, the message hits someone, they comment, or email, and out of that grows a friendship. But by far, most of the time, my little messages just get hurled out there and I never see them land anywhere with anyone. Like a bottomless pit or those freaky scenes in “Gravity,” they just go out, and disappear, and for all I know they just float sleepily with no readerly eyeballs to nudge them awake. To me, the landing of these posts is not a given, but I just keep lobbing. To throw, without expectation of a catch on the other end, is a muscle that is important to me, I guess. A thousand times over, at least.

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11 comments

  1. What a milepost! (There’s a fun etymological event for you.) You have a gift and it has to get out. I am grateful for your outbursts, and I look for one every day, like vitamin D. I disagree with your assessment of your writing’s quality; it always makes me laugh — hard to do — and often refocuses my energies toward gratitude, especially for my life partner and our family. This is what they call ennobling, nez pa? And is that not the purpose of art? There are people who would chew off a leg to be able to write as well as you. I hear you about purpose and community; for a while I had a little crew that made lots of noise on my posts and seemed to be waiting for each one, dragged each conversation off like puppies with a new sock. Now there’s crickets. And I’m sure one elderly blogger pal died on me — just went silent and her knitting blog sits there on its last post. But I keep doing it, and with less audience (or rather an audience that I don’t know or see anymore), I think I’m able to be increasingly honest, because I’m often confronting my death-fear and my insatiable melancholy out loud. Sometimes I’m writing just so that my daughters can know me better after I’m gone, and remember their own trail through their early lives from their dad’s (ultimately irrelevant) viewpoint. Mostly for me it’s just vain selfie-ism but who cares? I try to make each post worth the ride for anyone who gets caught in its undertow, and as you said, you never know when you’ll toss one out that connects with someone right where they are, and there isn’t anything better than that. I hope you never stop. Here’s to a thousand more. Sorry for the ramble, but I felt compelled.

    1. Thanks, Matt! You’re the best. And, I always love to pop over and see what you’re up to, because you’re no slouch at the writey write yourself.

  2. Keep lobbing out your thoughts into the universe! Your humor and insight is much appreciated. I miss metrodad and bitemycookie, two outstanding blogs that just went away one day…

  3. mazel tov on your 1000th post! i started reading years ago because i was looking for library blogs and love pop culture. so glad i found you. i look forward to your posts and your writing makes me happy. i love reading your blog, please don’t stop!

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