The forecast called for 80 degree weather today and so I busted out a summer dress and then I sat in my office all day and froze because oh yeah I do not work in the sunshine and it turns out the only heat I really get is off of my computer screen. And then I decided to go sit in the sun for lunch but it was cloudy (no chance of meatballs) and if it was anywhere near 80 degrees I am a monkey’s uncle. COME ON WEATHER PEOPLE STOP YOUR LYING YOU FIBBING FIBBERS.
Still, these weather issues are all well and good because guess what? I am going to Vegas this weekend. I have never been to Vegas before and I have always had this sort of disdain for it- it makes me think about disgusting all-you-can-eat buffets and casinos full of dead-eyed people. I have only been to a casino once in my life, and granted it was a smaller one in this here state of Washington, but WOO DOGGY it was depressing to me. Just lines and lines of nickel slot machines and card tables and the people in there looked so sad and/or vacant. I was sort of appalled and could not imagine a whole city’s worth of that business. But then this work trip popped up and now since I’m going I’ve started to look into this whole Vegas thing and I’m starting to think and be scared because there are signs that point directly to “I May Heart This Place.” What if I actually love Vegas? What if this is the place I have been waiting for? Let’s go over some things I have discovered. Delightful things.
1. It is hot weather there. Have I mentioned I love hot weather and am cold whenever it is under 70 degrees? When I am there it will be in the 90s at least. HEAVEN
2. Brit-Brit is there. YOU GUYS. HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME. Heck, twice more. Thrice more! All of the times!
3. Boys II Men are there. Come on!
4. Olivia. Newton! John! Tell me about it, stuuuuuuud.
5. There is no #5. But 1 through 4 was pretty great for someone such as myself. You must admit.
There are also cons, though. Such as:
1. Thunder from Down Under. Ew. I do not want my eyeball rays to touch those dingos, if you know what I’m saying.
2. Casinos. I still think I shall find these icky, even the fancy ones.
3. Cirque du So-everything. Zzzzz
4. Donny and Marie. Although I did have to think long and hard about whether they belong in the pro list or con list and I am honestly still not sure.
5. There is no more Liberace museum. Vegas, how COULD YOU.
So, we shall see later this week if I like it or not. Perhaps I shall turn into crazy nickel-slots lady who throws her panties at Wayne Newton. We are all capable of surprising ourselves at any time, you know.
In preparation, I bought a pair of shoes that are gold AND silver AND glittery. They are ridiculous and I love them. This is a me-shoe. It is also undoubtedly a Vegas-shoe. So. I wonder.