Consumables #78

The most important thing I need to say is that I have discovered Melissa Gilbert on the interwebs. Half Pint be tweeting! Unfortunately she does not have a lot of shit to talk about Nellie Oleson or her raccoon named Jasper, and I am confused that she is neither married to Manly nor is she dating Rob Lowe but rather is having matrimony with Mark from Thirtysomething, but still. I will take it. And yes, I am excited to discover that she has recently moved and lives in Michigan, not 45 minutes away from where my Mom lives. When next I go to my mom’s I will practically be SMELLING the lemon verbena! What? No, it is not weird. What do you mean?

On a related note: when I went to the beach a couple of weeks ago, there was this building that looked just like the schoolhouse on Little House, and Nordic Boy said “they need to round up some kids to make a bell for that building” and I said “Tinker Jones!” and if you understand what we were talking about there, we are friends.

Here are some Consumables that are kind of dusty because I can’t seem to keep up lately.

Star Trek: Into Darkness
Could it be that I never talked about this in a former Consumables? I don’t think I did, but I saw it a long time ago. I thought the first JJ Abrams reboot of Star Trek didn’t have the character development and thinky-think stuff (as we intellectuals call it) that I want out of my Star Trek, but this time around, I was so INTO it being explosions and chases, mainly because I saw it at a time when I was steeped in pure sadness and all I wanted was loud escapism. Draw from that whatever conclusions you will about the role loud escapism plays for people. Plus they did make Spock confront FEEEEEELINGS and really Spock isn’t Spock without a little Vulcan therapy breakthrough, so check and check on that. Also, I love the Cumberbatch, but I had all sorts of opinions about Khan casting that pointed to a non-Cumberbatch villain so I was really torn about that whole thing and OMG NERD RED ALERT STOP TALKING.

Ironman 3
Also saw this in my Cannot-See-Anything-At-All-Heavy-Or-I-Will-Fall-Apart phase. I really miss the days when Robert Downey Jr played other things. I mean the smart aleck thing is charming and all but remember when he was Charlie Chaplin and remember when he was Less Than Zero-ing, and remember when he was in Soapdish? He’s going to mix it up again some day, right? Also, the Pepper Potts stuff is just yucky. Someone do a Women’s Studies thesis on that shit, will you? Despite all of these comments, I enjoyed that movie a bunch. Because things blow up! And there are jokes! Again, that is exactly all I could really enjoy at the time.

Aw man, this didn’t get renewed. Rats. I know the copying of the Gilmore Girls was a bit on the ridiculous side, but really, if you’re going to copy something, the Gilmore Girls is not a bad choice. The thing I adored about this show the most was that it blows the Bechdel Test right out of the water. The show is full of ladies! And they are talking about lots of things other than dudes! It was kind of amazing that way. But it’s no longer. Bye, lady town.

Breaking Pointe
When I first started watching this show I was alternately delighted (reality show about professional ballet dancers who are rocking the art form and the show actually shows that instead of the dumb way dancers usually get shown in the pop cultures) and also mortified (the first season showcased a dysfunctional romance that was played up for it’s The Hills-ness and I was mortified about the whole thing), but the second season is so much better. It now focuses on some things that I find so heartwarming, heartbreaking, and compelling about dancers. The thing about ballet dancers is that really, there is no such thing as being famous as a dancer, like, outside of the small specialized world of dance. No one in non-dance America knows who Maria Tallchief is or who Julie Kent is or who Misty Copeland is. And no one is getting rich off of being a ballet dancer these days. Like no one. It’s not like acting or painting or writing or singing where there are a lot of starving artists but there is some chance that you might bust through and become a huge star or make some sort of buck. It just doesn’t work that way for dancers. But the training and dedication is so high, so ridiculous, and people who do it are so freaking committed to it. I know I am biased, but it’s really moving to me. The whole show doesn’t get into it as much as I want it to (there does need to be some amounts of reality tv drama after all), but there are glimpses. I watched the latest one last night and I bawled. Then again, I am a bit of a crybaby lately so maybe that isn’t the best measure.

The Heat
I had forgotten how freaking likable Sandra Bullock is in movies. Pair her up with Melissa McCarthy and one is liable to crack from likableness.

Orange is the New Black
I know this has been talked about ad nauseum but let me just join in on it. I was not sold on it for the first couple of episodes but then all of a sudden it was sooooo compelling to me I couldn’t wait to watch it every day. First of all, talk about blowing up the Bechdel Test. LADIES AS FULL HUMAN BEINGS EVERYWHERE! Plus Captain Janeway being a ferrrreaking badass. Plus, you show me another piece of mainstream pop culture that confronts privilege. Class privilege, white privilege, hetero privilege. Where else is that even being hinted at? Yeah, it’s got some stuff I don’t like, but overall, it sort of bowls me over with things that I have never seen on tv before.

The Daily Show
I was afraid I was going to go into some sort of withdrawal without my daily dose of Jon Stewart, but his hiatus was made bearable by the guest hosting of John Oliver. Can John Oliver now have his own show too, please? I want to see both of them every day.

The Colbert Report
I know it’s not news, but when Stephen Colbert did that business where he danced around to Daft Punk, it was too much delightfulness for me to bear. Aside from the set up and the comedy, I just feel like I want my whole life to be made up of silly dancing through any situation. Nordic Boy and I do a fair amount of this in the secrecy of our home, but I am thinking why can’t we be doing this throughout the day? Can I please do that? I don’t think my employer would mind. Maybe I should try it.

One comment

  1. Can I just say that I'm super conflicted about Jon Stewart's return, because, while I love him, I will miss seeing John Oliver all the time and his Carlos Danger dance. So good.

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