From the Mixed-Up Tiles of Mrs. Me E. Librarianweilder

It was another lazy weekend at my house. We basically cleaned, went for walks, did home improvement stuff, grocery shopped, cooked (I made a bangin’ strawberry shortcake, oh my gahhhh it was good), wrote letters, rearranged my bedroom furniture, read a novel from beginning to end, and went to a movie. I guess when I type it out it doesn’t sound that lazy, but for me, what that means is that I didn’t do anything with anybody, except Nordic Boy, who I don’t mean to downgrade to not-an-anybody, but you know what I mean.

We finally found the bathroom backsplash tile of our dreams and we went to the tile store to order it up. You know what is super awesome? When Nordic Boy and I go to places that sell building supplies (like tile stores) and the salesdudes only address Nordic Boy and act like I am invisible. Because ladyfolk do not understand the construction buildy stuff. I know what you are thinking: that compared to Nordic Boy, I in fact do not much understand the construction buildy stuff but MISSING THE POINT YOU ARE says me (as Yoda). I understand it plenty enough to be spoken to. Also, the salesdude (who was a real bro-ham type of guy, see yes, I can prejudge too because EQUALITY) was strange because this is what happened. We brought him the tile sample board, which basically says the name of the tile brand across the top (“Tile-o-rama Designs, Inc” or some such), and then a sample of the tile is stuck on the board, and under that it says the name of that specific tile (“Tiley Cyrus, WHITE”). We say that we need x amount of the tile, the guy looks it up on his magic ‘pooter (by which I mean his computer, not his butthole, you understand) and he orders it, the end. Except in our case, bro-ham looks it up, and looks it up, and looks it up, and peers at the screen like it is a palantir (NERD POINTS WUT), all the while shaking his head and saying “looks like this is no longer available” and making disappointed face. Finally, he says he is going to go in the back and ask his colleagues if they might be able to find this rare tile of Atlantis for us, and disappears in the back for like 15 minutes. Then he comes back out and says “ok! I’ve found it! Turns out that it is from the Tile-o-RAMA line, and it’s called the Tiley CYRUS.” Um. Wow, Encyclopedia Brown. That’s what it says on the mutha fracking BOARD.

We ended up not buying them from that guy.

Super compelling story. But I am trying to get back to blogging more so that’s all I got. *curtsy*

One comment

  1. My husband is a wheelchair user and those types of salespeople usually just sort of talk to the space between us since clearly neither of us could be toolusers of any kind.Excellent LOTR ref!!

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