Consumables #77

Why do I keep hearing about Bruce Willis giving grumpy interviews? I feel like this has become a pattern in my life. Another day, another interviewer getting pooped on (so far, thankfully metaphorically speaking) by David Addison.

Oh hey. Just thought I would give you a taste of what it feels like inside of my head. Want to hear another one?

I saw a book display that said “Find Your True North” and my first thought was about why they were doing a display about Kimye’s baby.

(curtsy left, curtsy right)

Calgon, take me away with your soapy, sudsy self! I didn’t think I would particularly like this, but I felt like I should watch it just because Only African American Lady Lead on a TeeVee Drama is enough to make me get behind that. But then…I watched every last one of these, beginning to end, in about 2 weeks. Obsessively! First of all, Kerry Washington and I, who I am not saying look anything alike because that would be milk-shoot-out-of-nose-and-possibly-other-holes ridiculous, do have one thing in common and that is skin tone. Which means that I study, with hawk-like focus, her lipstick and eye shadow shades. Educational, is basically what I am saying. Aside from that, it is just the right kind of melodrama for me. Dumb enough to be fun, but not so dumb that I can’t take it. And there are some good surprises in there, where a plot twist will happen and I will say WHAAAAAA, which is always delightful. It’s all kinds of intrigue and betrayal and corruption and sexy business. Plus, Mr. Katimsky from My So Called Life! And Noel from Felicity! And Desmond from Lost! I went from “Ok, I guess I will try and watch this” to “WHEN IS SEASON THREE OUT YET…NOW? HOW ABOUT NOW? HOW ABOUT NOW?” pretty quickly.

Basically, I am watching this because I love those fricking kids from Dance Academy so much that I would follow them anywhere, and they are all on this show! Like, they just took the entire cast and brought them over from Australia and made them fake some American accents (except, they don’t quite have that down perfectly, I’m afraid) and put them on this show. Except Kat–where’s Kat? If you don’t watch Dance Academy (and WHY AREN’T YOU) you won’t care about any of that. The show is basically a modern take on those tv movies set in summer camp that used to play all the time when I was a kid. Like “Poison Ivy”– that’s the one with Michael J. Fox and Nancy McKeon from Facts of Life having camp hijinks. And that “Little Darlings” one with Tatum O’Neal and Kristy McNichol. Or Meatballs. I like it just like I liked those when I was kid. I am a grown ass woman now, I know that. Don’t you think I know that?

Mad Men
I finished the latest Mad Men a while ago, but I just have to mention it because aren’t they doing a good job of making Don Draper look skanked OUT? He is just like a sweaty greasy burnt up cigarette at this point. Also, can we just make this entire show about Joan and Peggy? And maybe more Roger too? I just want to watch them all the time, please. Can we make that happen? Get on it, Matthew Weiner.

Top of the Lake
Speaking of Peggy Oleson! She’s a badass detective in New Zealand in this one and it’s like Prime Suspect meets Twin Peaks, only not as weird as Twin Peaks (but still kind of weird). Holly Hunter is this cult leader, and Faramir from Lord of the Rings is Peggy Oleson’s boss, and Yaxley from Harry Potter is a scary suspect. Wait, let me start again. I even confused myself there for a second. This young girl discovers she is pregnant and disappears, and Elizabeth Moss is the detective in charge of finding her amidst a creepy small town that doesn’t want to help solve the case. It’s a pretty dark story, and what I liked most about it was that although the main mystery does eventually get solved, there are many subplots of mysterious things that don’t get solved and leave you thinking. I am sad that there aren’t going to be any more of these.

Orange is the New Black
I am about half way through these and I’m loving it so far. I shall probably have more to say about it when I am done with it, but for now, I think you should watch it so we can talk about it. Ok?

I have been listening to the Judge John Hodgman podcast and chuckling out loud in public from it, so I decided to watch this stand up special by Mr. Hodgman. His humor is right up my alley, for example: “I am growing my mustache because I am going to play a young Wilford Brimley in a Cocoon prequel that I am writing in my mind.” Come on. That’s funny! It also has a surprisingly sweet ending that I wasn’t expecting. I may have cried a little bit during the ending. But then again, I am much more of a cry baby these days than I used to be, so I don’t know what the eff that really says.

I only watched this because I will watch Helen Mirren chew her lunch if given the opportunity, and I was surprised that I enjoyed it as much as I did. Grumpy interviewee Bruce Willis not withstanding.

FULL CIRCLE POST is what you just witnessed. I know. It’s amazing.

Let’s go out with a summery song, shall we?

Sunshine Barato, by Mosquitos


  1. Um, holy cannoli! I can't believe I didn't know my beloved Dance Academy peeps are in Camp! Now I need to figure out how to watch it. THANK YOU!

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