My goal for the last few days was to lie in a heap on my couch (time off work! My favorite thing about Christmas!) and read books and watch movies and never get out of my jimmer jams. The icy rain that seems to always be coming at me sideways was telling me that’s what I wanted to do, anyway. Yes, I now hear rain voices, what OF it?
I did get some of that accomplished with some busting out for certain very important things. Such as:
1. I went out to see two movies (and the couple who brought their 3-year-old to see Lincoln and he was mesmerized the whole 2.5 hours? Either that child is a genius or that there is scientific proof that Daniel Day-Lewis is mesmerizing).
2. We went out for our annual Chinese food for Christmas Eve dinner. I sort of felt bad for the waitstaff because that place was so completely slammed with all us non-Christmasy folk it was sort of on the ridiculous side. Wall-to-wall humanity! They probably all got tipped really well that night though right?
3. I spent an afternoon with my brother and nephew. Dudes, my nephew is 11 and is so into reading right now. After all those years where he could barely give me the time of day because Uncle Nordic Boy was so much more fascinating (Nordic Boy + tools + a red truck = me/chopped liver), this is SPLENDID NEWS. How long will having a librarian aunt be cool? I don’t know, but I am loving it.
4. I spent a day with Biogirl, her mom, and her mom’s dude, walking all over Seattle. My town is really fun in general but it’s a special kind of fun with out-of-towners.
5. Dinner with Delium. That dude cracks me up.
6. We have a new oven and cooktop and Nordic Boy made us a frigging feast on Tuesday. Channa masala, aloo with black eye peas, egg curry. Awwww yeah.
These are all awesome things. Here are some not awesome things, just to counterbalance.
1. I was at a party recently and got asked by a complete stranger if I was planning on having children. When I gave him my reply I got sad, pathetic face as if I needed a telethon of some sort. Listen, I am not naive and I know that people have opinions about ladies who do not have the babies but you do not have to look at me like I am Tiny Tim from a Christmas Carol. I am fine. I promise you: me and my desolate womb are just fine.
2. I went to this perogi place the other day and ordered a potato one, and the lady at the counter said “you Indians, always ordering POTATOES.” Really, lady? You are telling me that Indians eating potatoes is a stereotype? Like, that it’s even a thing? You are just making shit up and assigning it to my Indian-ness now. Next thing you know it’ll be all “You Indians! Look at you! WALKING AROUND LIKE YOU DO.” Isn’t potato-loving universal? Like, shouldn’t humanity be defined by breathing, sleeping, loving, and potato-eating? Some racial shit happens to me pretty dang regularly but that one was just weird.
3. A bird had explosive diarrhea all over my car this morning. Well, from the looks of it, it may have been a bird or a pterodactyl.
And one neutral thing:
1. I have been trying to wear more sweaters lately. I am not known for my sweater wearing as I think for some reason they look lumpy on me, and I don’t like to look lumpy, my lovely lady-lumps notwithstanding. My sweater stance results in me being cold from October through May, which is also no good. This year I have made an attempt at buying some sweaters. I bought 5 and returned 3 for lumpy reasons. Still, that’s progress, right?
And one dumb thing:
1. Am I the only adult on planet earth that feels bad when I hear other adults talk about Santa to little kids? The blatant lying of it makes me feel uncomfortable. Those sweet trusting faces! I kind of can’t handle it. But you may have heard that I’m a Scrooge. Plus my womb instincts are broken according to random party dudes.
6 Awesome Things, 3 Not Awesome Things, One Neutral Thing, and One Dumb Thing. And the Not Awesome Things aren’t really that bad in the grand scheme. I’ll take that math.