See, what I was doing was, like, a thing where instead of doing NaBloPoMo, I was doing the opposite, see, a sort of Bizarro world thing, where I posted nothing every day for the month of November instead of posting every day, so it’s totally legit because I meant to do it on purpose and stuff. Buying it?
Anyway, let’s not dwell on my shortcomings because if we start off on that road we shall be here all day and no one wants that.
Here are some of the things that happened this month, in memoriam of November.
There was this big election that happened, first of all, don’t know if you heard about it. My neighborhood celebrated in much the same way as the last time: a kid across the street ran outside and played a celebratory tune on his trumpet. 4 years ago it was “Mary Had a Little Lamb” and this time it was the national anthem. It was still wobbly but that kid has stuck with it for four years! I see how the anthem was a better choice, objectively speaking, but really, I kind of missed Mary and the lamb.
We got a new, fancy, delightful microwave/oven/convection combo dealie and I love it so much I want to take over the job of being the primary cook in my house. Ha ha, there is a fib in that last sentence somewhere.
Oh yeah, and I fired a gun for the first time in my life. And probably the last, unless the zombies come in which case I am ready. My friends- all liberal non-gun-toters every one- decided this was an experience we needed to have, and so we went to the local gun range and shot the shit out of some paper hanging up by clothespin type clippy things. I found it a bit anti-climatic, to tell the truth. I don’t know, I thought it would be more exciting or scary. Plus, our instructor was kind of a dick so that was not enjoyable either. We left after like a half hour. My verdict: guns = a snoozefest. Who knew?
I had four glorious days off over Thanksgiving, during which we cooked a bunch of food (new oven! new oven!) and had our besties over and that’s really it but dang it was good times.
And then, um, some other stuff? I’m sure happened? I am sure? This month?
No, I guess not. Election, oven, guns, Thanksgiving. God bless America, dudes.