Consumables #64

Hey wow, you guys. Just when I write something pretty grumpy, you come back at me with such niceness and making-me-feel-better-ness. I got so many lovely emails and messages. Just goes to show you that despite all my complaining, people are so lovely. At least you are. Thank you so much. If you wrote me, I promise I will write you back- I am still catching up with that.

My dad is out of ICU as of yesterday (woo hoo!) and so although he’s still in the hospital for now, things are back to normal levels of freaked out, rather than feelings-of-pukiness levels of freaked out. Which hey, I will so take that.

I don’t know quite how to transition from that into talking about the teevees and what’s silly in my world, but hey, you know me, I will just babble into it. Back to our regularly scheduled doofiness. My weekend was pretty low-key- the kind where I pretty much stayed in my house all the livelong day each day, but I did make it out to the first barbecue party of the year, and dudes, I had to leave by 8pm even though I was having fun, solely because I was turning into a popsicle. Seattle summers don’t often start before July every year (despite the entire greater metropolitan area bitching and moaning about it in perfect unison starting in March, but- not to get all sciencey on you- did you know that the weather systems do not change based on the sheer force of complaints it receives? At least that is my understanding but do not ask me to show my work on that story problem). Anyway, we all got our asses outside and barbecued it up, wearing coats and gloves and scarves. I am always a bit jealous of those warm-blooded people in these situations, who don’t seem bothered at all and show up in their sandals when it’s 50 degrees out, while I fold into a ball and cry ice cube tears.

Ok, shut up about the mothersucking weather and get to some Consumables! There are so many! I am so backed up on Consumables! I need Correctol for ladies for my Consumables! (gross)

In the Teevee!

Flying Wild Alaska
Ok, I know that this seems like another one of those reality shows like Ice Road Truckers or whatever, and yes, it totally is that. So if you don’t think that watching bush pilots in Alaska who have to fly in crazy weather conditions appealing, maybe not so much. But here’s the thing that hooked me about the show- it does a really great job of highlighting the communities in this part of Alaska and how they live. Like, if someone gets sick on a reservation and they need to go the hospital, they depend on these bush pilots to get them there. Or, if they want to eat strawberries, like, ever. Also, I find the daughter of the main two pilots, Ariel, totes adorbs.

Game of Thrones
I have been putting off starting this series because just based on what people say about it, I knew that it would be one of those things that I would glom onto and not be able to look away from for days and days in a way that is probably not healthy. And, yes. This has happened. I have only watched about 4 episodes and I can’t wait to get back to it. Goodbye other things in life. See you when I am caught up on Game of Thrones. (As an aside: please tell me that things will get more complicated with the Dothraki folks, because dudes, that shit is racist so far).

Fleur Delecour/Eva from Gossip Girl gets romantical with a young soldier. It’s unrequited, it’s WWI, it’s Masterpiece Theatre, you get the picture.

Left by the Ship
This documentary follows 4 adults (out of thousands) in the Phillipines who were fathered by US soldiers. Unlike many other countries, where the US has recognized similar populations of children, Filipino children are not recognized. The film did a good job of showing what the lives of the 4 children look like and how the circumstance of their birth affected them personally. I would have liked it more if it had gotten into more of the legal and political background of the situation.

Carol Channing: Larger Than Life
From the interviews and clips in this documentary, Carol Channing is as awesome and endearing as you might imagine her to be. I am fascinated with performers who are actors who really don’t act, or singers who really don’t sing. That whole “Carol Channing” thing that she does on stage? That’s really just how she is, for reals, if you can believe that, which I do. I am not saying there’s anything wrong with it- I am a fan, actually. I just find it totally intriguing that one could make a whole singing/acting career out of being a kooky lady. A hardworking kooky lady, don’t get me wrong, but you know what I mean?

Woman of the Year
I don’t know if I can express the joy I get out of a Spencer Tracy Katherine Hepburn movie. It’s just so delicious to me. And dang, that lady can rock a pantsuit like nobody since.

Barefoot in the Park
There is really nothing to this movie except for Jane Fonda and Robert Redford being gorgeous (sorry Neil Simon), and you know what? That is good enough for me.

Page One: Inside the New York Times
I don’t know that this illuminated me on anything in particular (newspapers are struggling, will the New York Times survive, what is the role of bloggers and tv news in relation to the NYT) but I still found it fascinating in a behind-the-scenes way. Just watching David Carr and Andrew Ross Sorkin et al run around doing their thing was cool. (Hi, nerd alert).


Washington Square, by Henry James
This was the book I took to New York with me, just because I wanted something extra New Yorky. I had never read any Henry James before, and for some reason I somehow got it into my head that he was (embarrassed librarian bomb about to go off, get ready) a sort of spooky writer, kind of like an Edgar Allen Poe type person. Where the HAIL I got that idea I don’t even know. So anyway, I really liked the book, but the entire time I was reading it I kept thinking “yes, yes, social manners, but where are the ghosts and stuff?” Turns out, I was thinking of M.R. James. Not Henry James. Major oopsy.

Stories I Only Tell My Friends, by Rob Lowe
As far as celebrity autobiographies go, it wasn’t the best, and it wasn’t the worst. Anyone who has been famous for as long as Rob Lowe has been has a vast collection of celebrity-filled stories. He dated Cary Grant’s daughter as a kid and hung out with her and her dad at their house. He knew John F. Kennedy Jr. He’s childhood besties with Charlie Sheen. However, he spends way, way too much time on his experience with The Outsiders. He also barely says anything about dating Melissa Gilbert for years which (1) Little House on the Prairie fans SERIOUSLY want to know about, and (2) has to suck for Melissa because in her autobiography she talks a lot about how much she was in luuuuuuv with that guy and now she barely gets a mention back? Ouch.

Doctor Proctor’s Fart Powder, by Jo Nesbo
Part of the reason I read this was because I knew I would be seeing Nesbo speak in New York, and I didn’t really want to read any of his grown up books at that particular time, so I went for his kid series. There is adventure, friendship, and farts. I know a lot of kids (hi, nephews) who would love this book. And some adults.

Fifty Shades of Grey, by E.L. James
Let me just say that I wanted to see what all the fuss was about, and now that I have read it, I still don’t see what all the fuss is about. It’s a mediocre romance with some spanking thrown in. Ok. I kept thinking… “and?” Chalk me up for I-don’t-get-it, party of one.

Breadcrumbs, by Anne Ursu
I probably should have written about this one first, because let’s face it, after all that mess up until now, who is still reading this? Oh well. If you’ve stuck with me this far, here’s what I have to say about this book. I loved it. It’s a kid book that transcends age, and a fantasy book that transcends genre. I felt like this book was talking to me and shit. Like, I was reading it, and thinking “book, can you see me?” If you have ever had a friend so super close that they felt like a part of the inside of you, and then that person didn’t want to be your friend anymore, and you had to ask yourself, “how hard am I willing to try to get this person back? Or do I just let them go?” this book may be talking to you too. I read it in a restaurant by myself and cried, like, right out in public and stuff. I am sure the waiter was concerned.

Hoo wee! That is all. Have a lovely week!


  1. Thank you SO much for your 50 Shades review–that tells me everything I need to know.Also, my hubby met Carol C. once–she carried around a bag of "diamond" rings and gave one to everyone she met–awesome!

  2. Maybe you were thinking of Henry James as a spooky writer because he wrote Turn of the Screw? That was my first intro to Hank J, too, and it's a doozy. I mean a spooky doozy.

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