So, I did end up going to the roller skating party last weekend, but my ankle was still busted up, so I got to play the part of the 5th grade nerd that sits at a table the whole time and watches everyone’s coats while they whooped it up without me to Milli Vanilli. On the upside, Nordic Boy is the cutest rollerskater on planet earth, so at least I had something to entertain me. I have been to a few rollerskating venues as an adult and those things do not get updated, you guys. They are decorated the same as when I was a kid, playing the same music, serving the same food (that last one may actually be literal). It seemed crazy, but right. Why would you update a rollerskating place? And if you did, how would you? They should make that a design challenge of some sort.
My ankle seems to on a slow mend. I am back to sporting heels so we will see if I regret that by the end of the day. That bowling injury was not a joke. Granny needs to be more careful. Also, Seattle truly has turned into a Noah’s ark Atlantis situation. Yes, both. There comes a time in the year where I start to disbelieve that a non-soggy existence is even possible. It just becomes The Way Things Are. Sun? What is that?
So on this dreary, windy, rainy, ankle-tweaked day, these are some things that are making me feel, if not like a million bucks, then like at least a few grand.
Misheard lyrics. Why are misheard lyrics so funny? Like when I thought Wanna Be Starting Something lyrics were: too high to get over, too low to get under, you’re stuck in the middle, and the penis finger? Or when Delium thought the Police were saying, instead of Every Little Thing She Does is Magic, it was Reverend Simpson Does His Magic? PURE COMEDY.
The other day we were in the car and “We Found Love in a Hopeless Place” was on. And when Rihanna says “Yellow diamonds in the light,” we said this.
Nordic Boy: What is she saying? Yankee dingos in the night?
Biogirl: Yankee dingos???
Me: Yeah, didn’t you ever learn about the great dingo migration of 1775, when dingos invaded New England?
Biogirl: Oh yes. That was when Paul Revere said “the dingos are coming! the dingos are coming!”
Nordic Boy: To eat your bay-bees!
We just about busted our guts over that one. I don’t even know why it was so funny.
Let’s just go ahead and expand the misheard lyrics category into Saying Weird Things. Saying weird things makes me happy. Like last night, Nordic Boy was playing solitaire, and I don’t know what came over him but he was getting vocally competetive with hisself about the solitaire. “Aw yeah! I am OWNING THIS!” I heard him say. And then he says the following: “I am so going to win this game. Winning is happening! I AM WINNETH PALTROW!”
Winneth Paltrow! Goddangit I love that man.