Be a sport

Ok ok ok ok. I have seriously got to get out of the blog lull. I need Cher to come over and smack me across the face or something, I don’t know. Add to the writing ennui the fact that my innernets are jacked up at my house and I am having to write this on my phone and that is a recipe for blogger disappearance. To that I say: fergit it! I shall persevere!

You may think that concludes Dumbest Whinefest Ever, but wait, there’s more! I went to this bowling party recently and decided that what my bowling technique was lacking was that I wasn’t getting low enough. You’ll be happy to know that I did not wear any apple bottom jeans to help me in my getting low endeavors, however I did commit to my new stance, and for my trouble I got an effed up ankle. A BOWLING injury, people. There is nothing quite like it to make a lady feel Methuselah-esque. On the upside I killed it on the bowling scores. Lifetime best! Ok so that just means a 120 but do not mistake me when I say that there was a lot of end zone dancing that occurred, even in my gimpy ankle.

The other thing I have to report is that I have continued my quest to find my favorite cocktail. So far the mojito is in first place, which is making me sorely disappointed in myself. So boring, right? I refuse to give up on this and stop there.

In other sporty news, I went to this thing called Smashputt. Basically some artists get together and build a crazy mini-golf course in a warehouse. (An aside: I saw not one, not two, but three people wearing big military style hats. I wasn’t close enough to them to see if it was more a Colonel Klink thing or more of a Captain from Captain and Tenille thing, but they were in that sartorial vicinity. To which I say: is that a thing now, hipsters? Please tell me it isn’t.) Anyway, I suck at the golfing at about the exact levels as I do at bowling, but no injuries were sustained so at least there’s that. Before we went to golf we had to sign this crazy golf waiver that basically said we might die from electrocution or the like from the course and if we did die it’s on us, so I guess if I was supposed to get injured anywhere it really really should not have been from bending my knees excessively while gently releasing an 8 pound ball. I got it backwards as usual.

The coolest thing about the golfing was the crazy take one artist did on a “golf range.” in this version, you get to put this big welding type mask in your face (in case something backfires?) and sit down with this big ass pneumatic rifle and a bucket of golf balls. You liad up and you shoot a bunch if aural targets. There was a piano on its side you could hit, some cymbals, an empty scuba tank, just all kinds of loud stuff. And I have to tell you that I have the least amount of interest in guns ever but GODDAMMIT that was fun.

This weekend we got invited out to go roller skating (we’ll see how grandma’s ankle is doing) so I am not sure how my life has turned into a series of semi sporty events, but there you go.

Have a lovely weekend, all. And my advice to you is: get low, just not too low.

Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


  1. I, too, am suffering from a gimpy ankle. And a gimpy knee. I can no longer run without strapping a band around my patella and a brace on my ankle, which makes me feel roughly 750 years old. Here's to both of us making it through the weekend without any further injuries!

  2. //The other thing I have to report is that I have continued my quest to find my favorite cocktail.//If it hasn't been suggested already, I recommend a French 75.

  3. Not sure if you're accepting suggestions for your cocktail list, (and I feel it should be prefaced that in reality, I'm actually a wino and not so hip on the mixed drinks), but I do have some of my favourites I could tell you about:*margarita (but a true one; none of that mixed syrupy junk, on the rocks with salt)*Cape cod (cranberry juice & vodka with lime)*Gin and tonic (the higher shelf the gin, the better the taste)*lynchberg lemonade (whiskey, triple sec, sweet &sour, 7up) There's a few we've made up ourselves, but these are all great starters. I'm hoping you blog about your findings too.

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