Consumables #54

I checked the weather this morning and the forecast for Seattle was colder than the forecast for Wisconsin, Michigan and New York today. What kind of ridiculousness is that? Mild climate my ass. I also happened to see the local tv news the other day, and the weatherman was calling his forecast the “futurecast.” Wow, so space age! And also, are we now afraid that the word forecast is too hard for people to understand? So we have to put the word future into it just to make sure we understand what is happening? What’s next? Will history class be called Pastory or Old-Timey-Times or something?

I don’t know. Perhaps I am just gripey because it looks like this outside.

So get this, I have further evidence that old ladyness is taking over my being. Last night I came home from work and Nordic Boy and I had a lovely dinner, followed by a little Daily Show/Colbert on the DVR, and some conversation after that. At about 9pm, we were sitting on our couch, looking at the candles in our fireplace. Nordic Boy reached over and turned the lights down to romantical levels, and within 5 minutes? I WAS ASLEEP. Can you believe that nonsense? Oh yes, I know how to keep the spark alive, people.

The holidays are totally happening, like almost now, and not only have my normal levels of non-caring about them gone on (still not interested in a tree or putting up lights or making cookies or shopping for gifts or traveling), but the one and only thing I usually do for the holidays- send out cards- has fallen by the wayside. I have not done a good goddamn about holiday cards yet, which means at this point it’s probably not happening. Perhaps I shall send out Groundhog Day cards later on or something instead. I guess this is my way of telling any of you who are reading this who normally get a card from me this year that the lack of card-giving does not mean I have chopped you from the list. I’m just full on in denial about the season. Ho ho ho.

Wait, hold on. My denial is not total and complete. I have done one holiday-ish item this year. Check me out! It’s a Consumable.

I decided to read some Christmasy stuff written by old Chuck Dickens. First of all, I read A Christmas Carol, which I haven’t read since I was in high school. I confess I rather like Mr. Scrooge. Not so much on the being a bad boss thing, but on all the other stuff. I didn’t find him to be so bad. I found him quite likeable actually. I know I sound crazyballs on this one, but hear me out. I think that I find a secret (ok maybe not so secret) glee in characters who don’t understand the holidays. This is why I love Charlie Brown so much. And the Grinch too. And all those selfish city ladies in Hallmark Original Movies about the holidays. Sure, they all find the Christmas spirit at the end, but that’s like, during the last 5 minutes of the story so I can almost ignore that part. The rest of the time they are all “merry who now?” I can identify, is all I am saying.

The second Dickens item I read was the short story A Christmas Tree. And holy guacamole was it a total snoozefest. Ay carumba with the on and on about the dang tree. SHUT UP, CHUCKIE. (Are you seeing why I have empathy for Ebenezer now?) I’m just saying that I don’t recommend that one.

We watched Captain America, wherein he kicks Nazi ass. It was everything that you might want/expect out of a movie like that. No surprises and that was just fine with me. We also watched Helen Mirren kick Nazi ass in The Debt. Lastly I watched Funny Girl where there were no Nazis at all, thank goodness. I watched it because my friend Linda, when referring to her own outfit, used the words “ruffled shirt” and what else is one supposed to do when those words are used than think “Nick Arnestein!” and then run home and watch Babs and Omar? I was like Pavlov’s dog: she said ruffled shirt and I had immediate Funny Girl cravings. And, I totally had forgotten that Frankincense Pontipee was in that movie. I want to also mention the outfit that Barbra wears that has, instead of a shoulder clasp or brooch, a full-size bunch of grapes hanging off of her shoulder, but I can’t think of how to work it in so I am just going to mention it and leave it alone. Also, I love the headpieces during “His Love Makes Me Beautiful.” Let’s look at it together, shall we?

Have a lovely weekend!

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