Have you ever noticed that in movies or tv shows, whenever there is a little boy who is orphaned or has run away and been found or something, the people who have found him tend to refer to him as “The Boy” throughout the whole thing, even when they know perfectly well what the character’s name is? “I’m very worried about The Boy. He’s in shock after what happened, and he doesn’t seem to be coming out of it.” What is up with that? “Bring The Boy in. We have to ask him what he knows.” No one talks like that, do they? Movies. They so crazy.
Speaking of the The Boy, I am seeing the new movie out (perhaps you have heard of it) this weekend about The Boy Who Lived, otherwise known as Harry PAW-TAH and I am SO GEEKY EXCITED ABOUT IT. I always say “Harry Potter” like that in my mind, because whenever anyone meets Harry Potter in the movies, that is how they greet him. They don’t say hello, or wow, you’re that crazy scar-head kid, they say “HARRY PAW-TAH!” It’s sort of like shouting “Norm!” in Cheers. I think we should all decide to shout out people’s names when we meet them. Maybe that’s just how they do in England?
Speaking of England, we were driving downtown the other day, and we saw this dude driving a Segue down the street. When we saw him, Nordic Boy said, in a hoity-toity voice: “Hello, Chauncey!”
Me: Why did you just call that guy Chauncey in that voice?
Him: I don’t know. People who ride Segues seem old-timey English.
Me: They do?
Him: Yes. Like, wouldn’t he look perfect if he had on a butler outfit right now? With a top hat?
Me: Actually, now that you mention it, um, TOTALLY.
Next time you see someone on a Segue, just picture that for me, won’t you?
Speaking of Nordic Boy’s great ideas, I demonstrated one of his made-up dances (called “The Level”) to my coworkers the other day (because yes, I bust out dance moves at work, SO WHAT) and my one co-worker took it to the Vancouver Folk Music Festival with her friends and got tons of people doing it. His genius is not only sweeping the nation, but it’s international, baby. You’ve got yer Chubby Checker, you’ve got yer Soldja Boy, and then there’s Nordic Boy.
Edited to add: I realized after I published this that it’s Segway, not Segue. I also realized that that is probably not the way you spell Soldja Boy, but I can’t be bothered to look it up.