You guys, I think the inevitable has happened. I have RUN OUT OF WORDS.
Actually, I take that back. I can boil my existence down to two sentences. One: I don’t know. And two: Can I nap now?
I am at a place where I don’t know seems to cover any and all situations in my life. This is unfortunate since my job is mostly, you know, answering questions for people. A case of the I-don’t-knows is sort of not ok, so I am managing to pull out some non-I-don’t-know stuff during business hours, but then after that? I don’t motherfucking know, ALRIGHT?
Evidence: Nordic Boy was putting in baseboards in our guest room and we were in the lumber store and he was asking me which type of baseboard I wanted and I was all I-don’t-know, just pick one. If you knew me but at all you would realize that any sort of aesthetic choice about anything is met with complete and utter decisiveness from me so an I-don’t-know on a baseboard style? Proves that my world is off its axis.
My other phrase: can I nap now? is actually something that I have not said aloud but is on repeat over and over in my mind as I go through my day. I have a serious, SERIOUS jones for a nap. At all times. I have become nap-obsessed. Why? Have I been lacking in sleep? Nope. Have I been doing things that would make one over-tired? Nope. So what is up? I don’t know. But can I nap now?
Maybe I do know a little. I think the way I deal with stress is to become completely dumb on every topic (I-don’t-know-itis) and to go to sleep. Ever since that goddamn friendcut post, it has been one stressful thing after another in me-ville. Various people in my life acting a fool, followed up by family health drama, and then…actually that’s about it. But that’s enough. Those two general topics cover a lot of ground, actually. Why are people choosing to act a fool now, I ask you? All at once? When I have bigger fish to fry with trying to keep up with family health drama?
I don’t know. Can I nap now?
See, it really does work in almost any situation.
I was talking to my mom on the phone the other day, and she was noticing how tired I sounded, and you know what she said to me? “You really should avoid stress.” Did I mention that she was calling me from the Emergency Room? With not-great news? You really should avoid stress. Mom, I love you, but have you realized that many of the times, you and I are often standing in a shitstorm together? How can any of us in this here family avoid stress?
She probably doesn’t know. And she could most definitely use a nap I am sure.
In other news, this crap few weeks has not limited my ability to giggle about stupid stuff, because that is just who I am. For instance, Nordic Boy came up with this idea that old people who usually eat dinner Early Bird Special style might also like to have a happy hour. Only problem is that if they are eating dinner at 4 pm, they will most definitely miss regular Happy Hour. So why not have their own, from like 2pm-4pm? We would call it “Pappy Hour.”
Cracked me up, that one.
Ok, so maybe I have not run out of words. But still. I don’t know. Can I nap now?