Because their names just have always sounded dirty to me

Email exchange of the week.

(Concerning the announcement from JK Rowling this week. The one that I really wanted to mean a prequel series, but turned out to be something I am way less excited about).

Friend: Are you bummed? Or is it enough that there will be “additional material?”

Me: BOO!

Friend: You’re going to end up a star of the HP fanfic community.

Me: Only if it’s slash fanfic. Dobby and Barty Crouch, together at last!

Friend: HA I would so read that.

Me: “Just give me a piece of clothing, Barty! Just one!”

Friend: Oh lords. That is hilarious.

Because I am here to entertain in totally inappropriate ways.

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