Things to yell out

As you know, I don’t sleep much. Or rather, I don’t sleep well. Never have since my teens. My insomnia has no long term patterns, just short term ones. This past week the pattern is me, getting up to visit the loo at 3 am. And it’s always at 3am. I don’t see a clock from my side of the bed, but when I wake up, get up, walk around the bed to get to the hallway, I look at Nordic Boy’s clock and it says 3am. Not 2:57. Not 3:01. Three. I told Nordic Boy about this, and although he pretended to believe me, I don’t know if he really did. A couple of nights ago, when I got up, he sat up, looked at the clock, saw 3am and said yelled “HOLEE SHIT.” Which made me almost crap my pants with fear because I didn’t even know he was awake.

Last week, Nordic Boy was driving us to work, and traffic was pretty light. This one car merged, perfectly and at very appropriate speeds, in front of this SUV. I don’t know why, but the SUV person went berserkers. She pressed on that horn and held it. And held it. And held it. HOW DARE YOU MERGE APPROPRIATELY? said the horn. And then Nordic Boy said, in a cheerful voice: “You do it, lady! That’s right! Take every last ounce of calm and tranquility that you may have had this morning and wring it out before you get to work! All of your patience must be spent by 8am! Wring it out! Your co-workers will love you for it! Wring it all out, I say! WRING IT!” You probably had to be there, but I about died when he did that.

Biogirl was taking out her trash over the weekend, and she opened her front door to find some neighborhood Christians canvassing for Jesus. She wasn’t expecting them to be standing there, so in her surprise, she yelled out in fright: “JESUS!”

The canvassing Christians came to our house too, only we weren’t home to yell the savior’s name to their faces. They did leave us a pamphlet, which included a drawing of Jesus only really it looks more like James Brolin in his “Hotel” days, wearing a nightie. Since we got it, Nordic Boy has taken to putting that photo wherever I am. In my bag, or next to my toothbrush. Last night, when I had sort of forgotten about Nightgown James Brolin, I got ready for bed. Each night, when I am washing my face, Nordic Boy gets whatever book I am reading, and my phone, and puts them on my nightstand for me with the light on next to it. And now, apparently, James comes along too.

Happy Monday everyone! Holee shit! Wring it! Jesus!


  1. We got the same Jesus. I was irritated by the short hair as my own sweet Jesus rocks the locks. I was going to recycle him but my daughter spared him. I worry because there's a pretty troubling picture on the reverse. Nordic Boy really does that bookie fetchie thing for you every night? Dawg, who IS that man!

  2. Velocibadgergirl- More about Neverwhere in upcoming Consumables!Matt- I didn't even look at the photo on the reverse side of James Brolin! Don't tell me Connie Sellecca is on there! Ok, enough Hotel references.

  3. ooh!!! oh!! oh!! Please please please tell me you're reading Neverwhere!! (I've got horrid vision but the cover looks correct!)I LOVE that book–but more so, I adore that Gaiman!!-K

  4. I am often awake at 3 a.m. You could text me for company! Just have to say that Nordic Boy's practice of putting your book, phone, and a light by the bed every night while you wash your face is about the most loving thing I have ever read. He gets the Partner of the Century award.

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