I admit it everyone. Me, the person who has always been so smug about being balanced and leaving work at work and all like that? 2011 has made that shite go ALL TO POT. I am not necessarily working more hours, but I have become one of those people who think about work when not at work pretty much all the time, including while sleeping. That’ll teach me to be smug. It’s like, remember when Kathie Lee Gifford was all “my family is so perfect, my husband is a bastion of husbandly Christianity” and then his nasty business with his mistress popped up out of nowhere? Well, I am Kathie Lee Gifford, and living a balanced life is Frank, and work is Frank’s mistress rearing her peroxided head.
How’s that for a metaphor? (Applause).
This means that I don’t have anything to blog about. And whenever I don’t have anything to blog about (and can I just say that I am not entirely comfortable with using the word blog in this manner. “Anything to blog about”? Blog about? Ugh, it sounds ree-dick), it is a sure sign that some shit has to change around here, because this blog is where I write down my happy stuff for the most part. And if I don’t have anything happy, funny, stupid, silly to say, WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY LIFE.
So, note to self. Stop doing that.
One thing that I did do lately is attend a large scale sporting event. I have not done that since…sheesh, I don’t even know when. I used to go to Detroit Pistons games when I was in high school. But since then, I have been on a long hiatus from arenas with cheering fans and points being scored. But this weekend, we went to see some roller derby. I know that that doesn’t seem like a major sporting event to most anyone who attends major sporting events, but it was in Key Arena, and that place was sold out. And people screamed and drank beer and there was a jumbotron and the whole thing, and so roller derby does too count. And as much as I want to roll my eyes at roller derby purely based on the fact that Drew Barrymore wants us to care about it, you know what? It kicked major hineycakes. I loved it. As did Nordic Boy, who has more of an aversion to sporting events than I do. I highly recommend going.
I have been riding the bus a lot lately, and does anyone in Seattle agree that the bus seats are made out of some sort of ultra slippery material? Is it just me? When I sit on the bus, and the bus accelerates and deaccelerates, my ass is sliding around almost to the point of falling on the floor. Not to mention that this causes me, when a turn is being made, to slide my caboose right into the person sitting next to me. It’s mortifying. Everyone else seems to be able to keep their ass in line. Can someone enlighten me on this? What is my gol dang problem? Do I need to buy those stickers that old people put on the floor of their shower and sew them to my butt?
I can’t stop watching the Bachelor, you guys. I feel disgusting.
I spent the better part of President’s Day at Macy’s, as our forefathers intended. In honor of our Presidents, I celebrated by accidentally walking in on an older Russian lady who was in a fitting room that a salesperson had put my stuff in for me. I walked in and there she was, almost starkers. I am sure that is exactly what Millard Fillmore would have wanted in honor of his day.
I can’t think about Millard Fillmore without thinking about Millard Fillmore High School, the setting for that grand tv show of the 80s, Head of the Class. Not that I think about Millard Fillmore a lot. But when I do, it’s always in conjunction with Arvid and Simone and the rest. Listen, you have your history and I have mine.