Conversations I have had lately

#1
My mom calls me and leaves me a message that says: “Call me back when you have a chance. We have had so much snow here and I want to tell you ALL ABOUT IT!” I call back. She says:

“We’ve had a lot of snow here. Just…that’s it really.”

#2
Nordic Boy and I park at the store in a tight spot. I have to get out between our car and another car, and it is TIGHT. I sort of shimmy sideways, and put both my arms in a sort of Mr.-Burns-from-The-Simpsons position in order to not touch either soggy car.

Nordic Boy: Look at you! Ain’t no thing but a chicken wing!

Me: (looking at my arms) Two of ’em!

Him: You’re so proud of yourself no matter what. I love that.

#3
Me and Biogirl shopping.

Me: Maybe for Halloween next year, you could go as Chico and I could go as Talbot.

Her: Oh sure, make ME be Chico.

#4
Me, to Delium: I read a book that I think you would like. Ship Breaker.

Delium: Noted. Although I’m sort of scared.

Me: Why?

Him: Shit Breaker? What the hell is that?

Me: SHIP. Not shit.

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