#1
My mom calls me and leaves me a message that says: “Call me back when you have a chance. We have had so much snow here and I want to tell you ALL ABOUT IT!” I call back. She says:
“We’ve had a lot of snow here. Just…that’s it really.”
#2
Nordic Boy and I park at the store in a tight spot. I have to get out between our car and another car, and it is TIGHT. I sort of shimmy sideways, and put both my arms in a sort of Mr.-Burns-from-The-Simpsons position in order to not touch either soggy car.
Nordic Boy: Look at you! Ain’t no thing but a chicken wing!
Me: (looking at my arms) Two of ’em!
Him: You’re so proud of yourself no matter what. I love that.
#3
Me and Biogirl shopping.
Me: Maybe for Halloween next year, you could go as Chico and I could go as Talbot.
Her: Oh sure, make ME be Chico.
#4
Me, to Delium: I read a book that I think you would like. Ship Breaker.
Delium: Noted. Although I’m sort of scared.
Me: Why?
Him: Shit Breaker? What the hell is that?
Me: SHIP. Not shit.