A Whole Old Me!

As you might know by now, I am not a big New Year’s Resolution sort of person. I think that I am growing and changing all the time, sometimes with intention and sometimes not, and I tend to shy away from anything that smacks of “becoming a whole new you!” because I think that can go haywire in my mind in a heartbeat. I know too many people that always seem to be on this treadmill of new starts and fresh beginnings and big changes, but yet nothing really seems to change ever. I also know a lot people who make New Year’s Resolutions and make some really positive changes in their lives, so I know it can go either way. For me though, I remain New Year’s Irresolute.

Now that I have been in a state of bonafide, cardcarrying, homeowning, responsibility-having adulthood for some years now, I do think that there are things that we leave behind as we get older, some of which are good (stirrup pants, I don’t miss you), but some of which are not. So this year, instead of making a list of new things I want to do and acquire and accomplish, I am going to make a list of old things that I want to keep and treasure and build on. Rather than making a whole new me, I want to keep the things about the old me that are pretty cool and not let them drift away just because I am becoming an old lady. New Year’s Resolutions can be (not always, I know) about changing the things we don’t like about ourselves and our lives. How about we take some time this new year to hang on to some stuff that is awesome about ourselves instead? Go ahead, ruminate on what is awesome about your life. And resolve to not let that stuff go.

In no particular order:

1. Being open to new friends.
I’ve met some really cool people this year. I have also grown closer to people that were acquaintances before, but are becoming pals now. I’ve also reconnected with people that I was once close to who drifted away and then came back again. There was a period right after undergrad in my 20s where I thought to myself: making friends is so much harder now that I am not in school. Will I never make another new friend ever again? I really thought that. That phase ended though, thankee Jebus, and in the years since I have met some ridiculously good friends. And I have learned how to make friends based on things more substantial than a shared experience or setting. I make friends now because I think someone is kind, and funny, and smart. Mostly kind. Doesn’t matter if they’re the same age as me or like the same things or even live near me (hi, blog friends!). I have so many people to love, and I’m going to keep that door open.

2. Saying yes to stuff.
This is something I do well, but I can see this getting harder as I get older, and I want to keep on being a person who says yes to stuff. It’s easy, as we know ourselves better, to think we have a complete handle on all of our likes and dislikes. I am The Person That Does Not Like Christmas, for example. But you know what? Who says? Maybe there is a situation where I would like Christmasy stuff, in some form or another. So if I get the opportunity, I should, at the very least, consider saying yes. And for some of those considerations, I should actually say yes. Saying yes to stuff has gotten me tubing down a river this year, and playing poker with a super fun group of people, and attending parties given by people that I didn’t know very well and were intimidated by, but turned out to be awesome. And yes, doing some fun Christmas things too. In all of these situations, my first inclination was to say no. But I considered. And then I reconsidered. Good job, me.

3. Um, also saying no to stuff.
This may seem counter to what I just said, but sue me, it’s my blog. I am also good at saying no to stuff. By this I mean I am good at saying no to stuff that is toxic. Like, people that make me feel bad. I see those people coming and I have no problem whatsoever saying no. I want to keep doing that. Also, saying no to social things when I need to sit my ass down and rest. And saying no to buying stuff that I don’t need or can’t afford. These are good times to say no, and Ima keep doing that.

4. Making sleep a priority.
I am a bad sleeper. Terrible. So I have learned that I have to get myself to bed at a decent hour as much as possible, and get up at a decent hour as much as possible. I have been doing better with this, and so I shall continue.

5. Be a good friend.
This is one of my life goals that I think about all the time. I really want to be a good friend to my friends and family. I want to pay attention to them, listen, help, make them laugh, make time for them. Just be a good peep. I want to make people I love feel loved and welcome, and leave them be when they seem like they want that too. I do a fair job at this one, but there is always more I can do.

6 Express yo’self
Related to #5, but sort of different. I try my hardest to tell people I care about that I care about them. Or show them somehow. Write a note, send a present, smile when they walk in the door. I hate when I think that someone I think is awesome might not know. Sometimes doing this feels awkward at first. I am thinking about that person. Should I write them a note or pick up the phone just to tell them that I am thinking about them? As soon as I ask myself that question, I know the answer should be YES YOU SHOULD. Reaching out is good. Who cares if I look like a dork? I AM a dork.

7. Include people.
I HATE CLIQUES. I thought that cliques were supposed to die after middle school? I am sad to say that there is still a cool kid table in just about any situation. I want to invite any nice person to sit at that table. Or not have a table. Let’s just eat buffet style, standing up.

8. Work at work.
I’m normally good about leaving work stress at work. This year, I admit I let that one go a little bit. So I am re-committing to this one. Work, stay at work. Or else.

9. Sing silly songs.
I ROCK at singing silly songs. And dancing dumb dances. I hope I am still doing that when I am 80.

10. Read and experience art a lot.
I can’t imagine a time when I will let this one go, but just in case, I am including it.

11.  Being active.
Whether it’s walking around, exercising, dancing, running, whatever. I want to keep moving.

12. Being a good aunt.
I have nieces and nephews, both by blood as well as by love. I want to keep being a positive aunt to all the kiddies in my life.

13. Being a good partner.
Nurturing shit with that Nordic Boy of mine has gone pretty good so far. I think I’ll keep at it.

Those are the things about which I am resolute this year, and, I hope, every year.

Go forth and make resolutions, everyone, and change things up, and then think about some things that you do that are flippin’ sweet and hang on to those things too. Cool? Cool.

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3 comments

  1. Whenever I think about you, I think "That Librarian Girl is like an awesome-person magnet! She has so many great friends." Being a good friend is one of the highest priorities in my life, so I relate to you in that way. BUT I NEED MORE FRIENDS. So it was encouraging to hear that you struggled making friends right out of undergrad, too. This gives me hope!

  2. I love your affirmations. And Rachel- I think it's hard for all of us to make friends. I've been in Chicago and have not one in the area friend. But, I have a very rich world of friendships, that I just have to be creative about stoking.

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