Hope and Change

I’m going to say something about fast food, and it’s going to make me sound like an arugula loving elitist*. Or something. Maybe.

I haven’t eaten fast food in SO FREAKING LONG. Like, many years. I would like to say that that is because I am super healthy and politically aware and that I totally care so much about where my food comes from and my palette is so sophisticated that I ain’t eating no jacked up Jack in the Box. And I would say those things are all true. But really, I think the more real thing to say (and I am nothing if not one who Keeps It Real) is that I live in an environment where I sort of have to go out of my way to get fast food. There is a McDonald’s kind of near where I live, but that’s about it. No Taco Bell, no KFC, no White Castle, nothing like that in my vicinity. Maybe if that was all that there was to eat when I was in a hurry, I would eat there. Or if it was on my way to something, I would go. Lord knows that when I was a teenager, I WAS IN HOT PASSIONATE LOVE WITH TACO BELL. And not just the dude. The restaurant.

I am about to get nostalgic about Taco Bell. Just to warn you.

First of all, Taco Bell had bean burritos for 49 cents each. I don’t know if that is still true, but back in the olden days, it was. Is that not a teen dream? You get a dollar and you have a meal and one for your date too. Instant romance! No matter that a bean burrito is kind of boring, because you open that puppy up and pour in as much hot sauce as you can stand. Unboring that thing pronto.

There was this one time, when Nordic Boy and I were starving artists (and I mean that almost literally), and we were so freaking hungry, and we didn’t have any money. Like none. Zero, zilch. Not even a dollar. So we walked from my apartment towards a Taco Bell, looking down at the ground the whole way, hoping that we would find enough change ON THE SIDEWALK such that, by the time we got to Taco Bell, we would have enough for a bean burrito. I shit you not, we totally did that.

The story would be so much better if we had actually found a couple of quarters that day. Sad to say that we didn’t, so we arrived at the Taco Bell and then had to turn around and go home. What a couple of sad sacks we were. But the point is, it could have happened. We could have found enough change to feed ourselves. This brings a new meaning to the phrase Hope and Change, doesn’t it? You hope for loose change, and bam! Burrito time! Obama and Taco Bell should have totally gone in on some ads together, am I right?

The last time I had Taco Bell, it was about 10 years ago. Nordic Boy and I were on our way back from Vermont where my brother had just gotten married. We were catching a flight from Albany and we had no time to eat anything, so we stopped at Taco Bell. It was so disappointing, you guys. The love had definitely faded. It was like seeing your first love at a high school reunion and although you remember him being totally hot, he now just looks like George Costanza but you make out with him anyway and then you wonder how you could have ever let that dude get in your knickers. Sometimes, letting a great memory stay a great memory is the best thing to do.

I’m kind of craving a hot fudge sundae from McDonald’s right now. Tell me not to do it. I don’t want another George Costanza in my pants.

*It’s true. I love arugula.
 

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