Smiley things

1. I was telling someone about this link that the effervescent Miss Davies had on her blog the other day, and the person I was talking to pointed out that I, apparently, do not say “McDonald’s.” I say Mack Donald’s. With a heavy emphasis on the Mack. MACK Donald’s. How is it that I have gone my whole life and no one has pointed out this ridiculousness to me? It seems that discussing Happy Meals and Chicken Nuggets turns me into an old man from the South. “What would like for dinner, Peepaw?” “Why, I do believe I would like me some Mack Donald’s!”

2. I was at this training for work yesterday, and we were learning supervisory stuff (aka how to not be an asshole boss). At the end of the training, the trainer asked us some questions to review what we had learned. It was the end of an 8 hour class, and we were all totally beyond done. At this precise moment, I got called on to answer the question. The trainer said “What are the two tools that we discussed that all supervisors should have at the beginning of every year?” Me: Blank stare. Her: “They both start with a “p.” Me: “Um, I don’t know. Pride and Prejudice?” Everyone in the room almost puked from laughter. What did I learn at this training? Tired library types plus bad literary jokes equals GUTBUSTER.

3. Speaking of bosses, do you refer to your boss as “boss” right in front of them? As in “Let me introduce you to Joe. He’s my boss.” I don’t know why, but that’s funny to me. Why not say “supervisor” or “manager” or “library director” or “CFO” or whatever? “This is my boss” just sounds funny.

4. At my work, we have an automated system that moves books and other items around. You return your book, it goes onto a conveyer belt thing, the magic robot machine scans the book and knows where it should go next (back to another branch to reshelve? back to another location to fill a request for someone?), and then the book gets deposited in the correct bin to be taken to its next location. (See the Picture Picture style short demo here). Each of the bins has a little computer attached to it that can detach and attach to different bins as we work. We call these computers “brains.” This name causes me no end of hilarity, because I get emails that say things like this: “We really need more brains at this location. We have a serious shortage of brains. Can you help?” or “We have been juggling brains here because some are out for repair. Can you help us with our lost brains?” or even verbally from the work room, I can hear staff members talk to each other, saying things like “Oops! My brain fell on the floor!” or “Are you done with your brain? Can I borrow it?” or “Why isn’t this working? Oh, I forgot to plug in my brain.” I have worked here for how many years now? And still. Never stops being funny.

5. I saw this sign last weekend, and I have tried to come up with an occassion that could be classified as a “Cigar Emergency.” I can’t think of one.

6. I was singing along to “Bad Romance” in the car the other day, and I said “I want your lettuce shredded kiss in the stands.” Instead of “leather studded kiss in the sand.” I guess I don’t really want a bad romance, as much as I want a healthy one during a sporting event of some sort.
7. This song came on my alarm this morning and woke me up. I stayed in bed, looked out my window, and listened to the whole thing before I got up. Ever hear a song that just hits you totally the right way, at the right moment? It’s nice.

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