"If You Want to Destroy My Sweater"*

Lots of things happened over the weekend, some of it good, some of it bad, and some of it ugly.

The Good
Friday night, some of my ladies came over for crafting night. Hopscotch, Biogirl, and other fine and dandy girlfriends came over with knitting, crochet, and embroidery needles aplenty and we got our old lady sewing circle on and shot the shit with wine and brownies and cookies galore. Some of us actually made progress on our crafting projects, while others of us (me and Biogirl) made progress on the food and drinks. So there was something for everyone.

The Bad
Saturday was all shot to hell with illness-related events which no one wants to hear about as it is quite gross so I shall skip right over that except to say that someone near and dear to me spent most of the day near the terlet and I had to be there to care for that person who shall remain nameless but come on, I think you know who I’m talking about. Nordic Boy renamed Saturday our Inconvenient Truth. And yes, our personal truth was very, very inconvenient.

The Ugly
As you might recall, I don’t usually get it up for the holidays. Holidays are fine with me in that I love days off from work and spending time with my loved ones, but in terms of decorating and doing traditional things, I just don’t feel the need to go there. Biogirl is a staunch celebrater of the holidays, and I have told her that I would be more than happy to de-Grinch-ify myself to the best of my ability so that we can celebrate these things together. On Sunday? Not only did I feel Christmas in my heart, I grabbed it by the balls.

First, we drove out out to the burbs and went to the mall. The crazy, crowded, Christmas-themed mall. Dudes, I don’t know what it is since I haven’t been in a mall during holiday shopping frenzy season (and yes I know it’s early so I probably didn’t even experience the half of it) for many years, but that atmosphere can put me in a deep, deep glaze. The music, the decor, the crowds, the hundreds of unhappy people. OY. It’s NUTS. However! I was there to get into The Holidays. And get into them I did. How? By finding the brightest, the bedazzledest, the boxiest, most unflattering holiday novelty sweater that I could find.

WHICH I DID.

And Biogirl went there with me. And we bought them, and we love them. Christmas spirit I still might not have, but with this purchase, I think I deserve an A for effort. Right?

Come on, right???

*See what I did there? It’s that Weezer song! I am so clever, you really should be in awe of it.

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8 comments

  1. Cost of gas to get to the faraway mall: $5Price of the curling iron we were chased with by the kiosk sales lady: $25Paying for therapy for our post-traumatic holiday mall symptoms: $120/hourPhoto evidence of me and my BFF in matching holiday sweater vests: PRICELESS!P.S. My word verification was "poopavil". That sounds like an imaginary town I would not want to visit…

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