Where the Soggy Things Are

We have so much catching up to do. Let’s do it now, shall we? Let’s shall.

You didn’t miss much from me last week because I was working hard for the money (dah-dum, dah-dum), so hard for it honey. Not to say that I don’t usually work really hard, but compared to last week? It made me think: let’s face it, I don’t usually work that hard.

But talking about work is likely to keel you over dead with boredom so I’m going to skip to the end (please say “skip to the end” in your head like Prince Humperdinck during the wedding scene in Princess Bride, thanks) and get to the weekend. Unless you want to hear about how I was so tired that I ate popcorn and Smart Puffs for dinner due to tiredness? No? Ok then.

The only thing I will say about last week is that I attended a week-long conference type thing in my city at a fancy hotel. Lunch was provided and people got awesomely fed every single day. It was gourmet deluxe, which is very unusual for conferences in my profession. It was great. Except for the four vegetarians in the group. They (ok, we) got a cold, bland portabella and spinach sandwich every day. For five days straight. No chips on the side, no condiments even. I am not a picky eater and pretty much have the attitude that since I am in the minority about meat ingestion I should expect to just eat whatever veggie thing I’m broughten, but dang. You shoulda seen the spread that everyone else was getting. And I would have settled for a goddamn grilled cheese to break up the monotony. Something. A slice of tomato?Anything? An onion ring? But nope. Cold, unmarinated dry ass mushroom sandwich. For a whole week.

Oh well. My life is so hard, boohoo.

Friday night I attended my workplace’s union meeting, wherein we all stood on tables with signs like Norma Rae, except ours said things like “librarians are hot” and “read a book, suckers” instead of your normal Norma Rae captions. Ok, we didn’t really do that, but you know me, if I could live my life in a long uninterrupted string of movie clips that would be kind of ok with me. The library budget, much like everyone else’s budget, is in the crapper for 2010 and so the meeting was not a barrel of laughs, that’s for damn sure. Afterward, my friend J and I had to go brave the rain and cheer ourselves up with some avocado sushi rolls. We closed the sushi joint down and then talked in the car for a couple of hours, which made my evening last into the next day, which for a grandma like yours truly is sort of spectacular.

This weekend the weather gushed down in the form of large and in-charge raindrops of a Midwest variety. Seattle may be known for its rain, but seldom does it just POUR down in bucketloads. Rather, it seems perfectly unrainy until you walk around in it and find yourself inexplicably soaking wet from the teeny tiny mist drops that have been hitting you all the while without your knowing. But this week it was full on raining cats and dogs with some ferrets thrown in for good measure.

So when you have stayed up late the night before, and had a hellish workweek the days before that, and you have a weekend coming up and it’s stormy outside, what do you do? Stay in and watch Tudors DVDs? Snuggle in your bed and listen to the bluster outside? Build a cozy fire in your fireplace?

Um, no. You get up at 7am and go to the dump and get super duper wet, and smell super duper smelly. Obviously.

Granted, I didn’t have to get up and go to the dump. Nordic Boy would have happily gotten his ass up and done it himself. Wouldn’t have been the first time. But remember when I mentioned Project Get Hella Involved? I am committed. I am not going to wuss out now. So we went to the dump to recycle a bunch of broken up concrete from a walkway of our yard. And I was reminded that I don’t own a raincoat. Or rain-appropriate shoes.

That’s right- over ten years in Seattle, and no rain gear. Because why? Because rain gear is ug-effing-lee. If there was ever a debate in my mind about whether form or function wins the day in the Land of Librarian Girl, that right there should answer the question for you. If it’s ugly, I can’t go there. I just can’t. I’m not proud of this.

After the dump, we went rain coat shopping for me. At REI. Let me just say this right now- I am not an REI, Patagonia, North Face sort of chickee. I find the design of these clothes abominable, especially for ladies. The everloving CUT of these coats, people. It is as if they are all made for Rosie the Maid from the Jetson’s. Big and boxey. Yick. It gives me hives just thinking about it. Plus, they were playing that song in REI? The one that goes, real fast: I gotta a pocket gotta pocket fulla sunshine I gotta love and I know that it’s awl mine oh. Oh-oh. I am usually pretty ok with bad music and indeed I love a lot of bad music (hi Jody Watley) but I cannot HANDLE THAT SONG. So add REI box coats with a pocket fulla sunshine and I almost had to throw a pocket fulla coniption fits.

Needless to say from that story that a raincoat for me was not found that day.

Then Nordic Boy had to go in to work for a while so I had a nice long private makeout session with my couch. Don’t tell him that, ok?

Then we went out with a bucketload of friends to see Where the Wild Things Are. Remember how that book is all wild rumpusish and full of joy and wild abandon and gleeful spirit? Well this version of the story is full of dysfunction and drama and not a small amount of outright disturbing violence. There was a little kid sitting behind me at the movie theater and she kept saying, in a really small scared voice “Why is that happening, momma? Why are they so mad?” It’s pretty much guaranteed that that kid will have a straight up nightmare for the next few weeks of her life. So thanks for that Dave Eggers.

I’m not saying that the movie was bad or anything. But for some reason it made the group of us go to a bar afterward and talk about how sucky and often scary being a kid was over our beers until the wee hours. So that’s my review of that movie.

Ok, I gotta go to work now so you’ll have to wait for the riveting tale of Sunday and how Nordic Boy and I installed rain water collection tanks in our garage. Trust me, it’s exciting. And I am not even being sarcastic.


  1. Okay, so can I just tell you how I was about to write a blog post about how I am so not a Mountain Equipment Co-op, North Face, etc. girl my own self, because you know, basically what you said about that shiz right there? So now I don't have to! Or, maybe I will cos you know, solidarity. Or something.

  2. I still think we should dress you up in my outdoor gear for Halloween. I even have my big rubber field boots! Think of it this way, at least you'll be dry…

  3. I thought my friends and I were the only freaks who closed out restaurants then chatted in the car for hours until the sun came up when we could have a perfectly nice visit inside on the couch. But conversations seem much deeper out there in the driveway, don't they? Also, when we went to Italy in high school, all the meals were pre-planned: All the vegetarian kids would have exactly what we had (normally a big hunk of meat and some veggies) except instead of the meat they'd have a slab of steak/chicken-breast-shaped cheese. EVERY MEAL. Poor vegetarians. I appreciate the heads up about WTWTA. I met Maurice Sendak when I was a kid (thanks, library-sponsored programs!) and had been superpsyched to check out the film.

  4. Up until 2 years ago I was right there with you about the outdoor clothes, but then I got a North Face jacket for Christmas and it is soooooo good. I promise you, it's not boxy in any way, it's a snug snug fit (which you can make even snugger if you so choose by pulling the toggle) and it's Thinsulate fabric which basically means uber-warm even in extreme temperatures (and we all know you like to be warm) it sits just on your hips but covers your bum with its specially designed shape…and it's black so not in a garish colour…go on, be brave, you'll love it, trust me!

  5. North Face Grace Jacket. Not boxy. Has a waist. Trench style, but made with that waterproof-breathable stuff. But yes, you are right about most rain gear. And if you find some decently fashionable rain boots, let us know.

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