I almost had a friggin’ heart attack because my iphone froze up and I couldn’t get it to unfreeze. I realized, as I was freaking the eff out, that it really probably wasn’t healthy for me to care that much about a phone. But I went there. To the bad place. About my phone. And then Nordic Boy fixed it! I love that guy. And by that guy, I mean my phone.
I was sort of mad that the Project Runway folks kept using the term “snoozefest” last week. Snoozefest is like, MY WORD, and they were using it! I was reminded by loved ones that I did not coin the phrase snoozefest nor do I have any rights on telling Heidi Klum she can’t use it. But still. I felt robbed. Much like Christopher and Epperson must have felt.
I went on a pilgrimmage to find an apple orchard with a storefront that sells doughnuts and cider. I do this annually, and wrote about it a couple of years ago. When I was a kid, my parents always took me to this orchard in Michigan and I would run around in the leaves and we would drink cider and eat doughnuts and it’s a memory that is just about as perfect as one can get. You know what’s hard? Trying to recreate a perfect memory. It’s not really possible, is what I am learning. Sometimes you have to know when to hold ’em and know when to fold ’em, and I think I need to give up on the orchard quest now. I gave it a good shot for a few years, but the disappointment is just a little too much for me each time.
Still, there were good things about this orchard, even if it’s not the orchard of my dreams. There was a pumpkin patch that was pretty and made me wonder if the Great Pumpkin was going to visit next month.
Also at the orchard, there was a bunch of goats that were chewing everything and peeing themselves to kingdom come. Which is not really a great thing, I suppose. But it was notable. Goats may not have many talents, but if you want someone to chew stuff and lay some poops and peeps everywhere, goats are the tops. Everyone’s got something to be good at.
I got called out on Facebook by Nordic Boy who decided that he needed to post on BioGirl’s wall that this is the season where I begin my annual reign as a “holiday Scrooge.” First of all, that is rich, coming from that dude. Second of all, he never logs in to Facebook, like, ever, and the one time he does it’s to name-call me? Humpf. Third of all, I beg to differ about this defamation. I am not a Scrooge (despite the fact that I just said “humpf”). I am holiday-indifferent. Totally not the same. I am even benevolently indifferent. Really. Truly. Also, perhaps a little bit holiday-defensive.
Oh, and by the way, you guys? Apparently don’t have any blog recommendations. Because out of all yall I think I got four blog recs. FOUR. That is sad to me. Is bloggyland that unexciting?
Come on, you know you want to recommend one. Just one. Your top pick. Give it to me.