Can’t Nobody Stop the Juice

Random Mondayness

1. This week, the week after the Hallowed and Angelic Vacation of ’09, has been sort of crap in terms of working. The downside of going on vacation is that things pile up while you’ve been gone. And although I know I will catch up, at this point I feel like my skull is being crushed by the weight of my to-do lists.

2. Sorry to bring up my stupid dance show favorite again, but last week on SYTYCD, they inexplicably brought Katie Holmes on the show to do a song and dance. Why? Why was Katie Holmes all of a sudden on the show? Can Katie Holmes dance? No, she can’t, it turns out. She perhaps thinks she can dance, so I guess that goes with the title of the show. She did this number where she totally lip synced and marched around for a few minutes with jazz hands and a few poses thrown in. Why, on a show whose whole purpose is to illustrate artistry and skill, would you bring on Katie Holmes to make a mockery of the whole thing? THIS HEARTILY IRRITATED ME. And also, I think I need to stop taking this show so seriously, what do you think?

3. It is up into the 90s this week. I am pretty sure I am the only person in all of Seattle that is happy about this.

4. I went to see the Harry Potter movie. Does anyone else laugh in a very immature manner whenever they do the quidditch scenes, as Nordic Boy and I do? If you don’t know what could be so funny about quidditch, then you are far too mature and I am far too embarrassed by us to explain it to you.

5. I have been looking for a sideboard for a long while now. (Sideboard? Credenza? Cabinet? Whatever the hell it’s called. Something within which one puts crap inside). I really have wanted a Matthew Hilton Cross sideboard. I look at photos of it and I want to lie across it and hug it in rapture. However, this may shock you but I don’t have $3,000 to drop on buying a piece of furniture such as that one. So then I started trolling vintage furniture stores in the hopes of finding something similar. I’ve looked for over a year now. Still, too much dough, even for something that I could refinish myself (meaning, in the parlance of my house, that Nordic Boy would refinish it. Just in case you don’t speak my language). Finally, I found something I could live with from West Elm. It was $800. Yesterday? We went to Ikea. And found something that I could live with for $150. I got the Ikea one. That sound you are hearing? To quote Death Cab: this is the sound of settling. Pah paaah, pah paaah. Still, it’s pretty, right? Sort of? (And please don’t look up the Matthew Hilton one before answering this question or your answer might be all askew).

6. I ate two most awesome things this weekend. One was this.

Porcini mushroom tarlets.

The other was this.

Pancakes from a spray can.

I am hard pressed to choose which of these was more awesome.


  1. i love how they label the spray-pancakes as "organic"… i picture an orchard of pesticide-free trees, heavily laden with pancake batter cans.

  2. Katie Holmes' dance? A travesty! I would have preferred watching ANY other dance that was actually from the show. Cause, yeah, she can shrug her shoulders like it's going out of style, but dance? Nuh-uh.

  3. Your buffet (that's what I call a sideboard) is pretty. This comes from somebody who drools over the ironically-named Design Within Reach catalog and then ends up shopping at IKEA.

  4. Rumor has it that Katie Holmes worked on that routine for many, many months. Did she really not know? Did she not realize that she was merely walking around the stage and weakly posing here and there? Look, if she wanted to marry a nutjob and raise her kid in his nutjob religion, whatever. But this dance debacle is real proof that she needs an intervention.

  5. I have to agree with you on the Katie Holmes thing. I was watching it with my 2 year old and was trying to explain how horrible the lip sync/"dance" was to her. She, on the other hand, was dancing… and frankly doing a better job than Katie!

  6. Katie Holmes = barf. Furthermore, JEANETTE AND JASON got kicked off!? What is wrong with America!? If Evan makes it to the finals I'm going to… well… I don't know. But it will be dramatic and bad.

  7. I feel like I have a lot to say about your bullet points.First- I heard that Katie Holmes was dancing to promote her charity that funds dance classes for poor kids. Which is about the only reason I can forgive her "dancing"Second- I am very, very immature but I can't figure out what is funny about quidditch. But I want to know. Please tell me so I may giggle too. Third- I want to try pancakes in a can. Righ now.

  8. My friends and I were talking about beersicles, and our ice cream man has lime popsicles flavored with salt, which taste just like margaritas… I rarely drink, but I can see a future for these kinda popsicles. Except I think alcohol doesn't freeze…

  9. sorry i'm all late to the party but i've been in mourning over janette's too-early sytycd departure. from what i understand, katie holmes and tice are bffs and she and tom probably gave a ton of cash to dizzyfeet in exchange for her appearance. and wtf about that little "street scene" video at the beginning?janette was robbed!

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