I think it may be official that Nordic Boy and I are the only two people on planet earth that did not like the Star Trek movie. What is wrong with us? We wanted, I think, something to discuss. Like, isn’t that what sci-fi is for? To offer an allegory that you can geek out over and talk about afterward? Or is it just to watch ships fly around and blow stuff up? Maybe that’s our misunderstanding.
After we saw the movie, it was crickets. I tried to think of something to say about it, but really? There was nothing. Listen, I am not opposed to mind candy, let’s be clear about that. I have watched that Tori and Dean show, so let’s just get that out of the way up front. But that movie was just cowboys in space as far as I could see, which is ok, but that’s just going in one ear and out the other (or in a film’s case, would that be in one eye and out the other?). I mean, if you’re going to just put characters in space for adventure’s sake, then I would prefer Captian Link Hogthrob, to be honest.
If I am wrong about this, please enlighten me. Seriously, because I feel like I am missing something.
After my long weekend of blissful nothingness, I am kind of flailing around this week in a sort of daze. What? I have to work? And pay bills? And act grown up? It’s very unsettling, and convinces me even more that my true calling is to be an independently wealthy eccentric. I have visions of Nordic Boy and I wearing crazy hats and biking to the opera on a tandem bicycle for the evening.
What’s up with dress shorts, people? I implore you. Is there ever a reason for them? I am open to be convinced on the dress short phenomenon, but to be honest I can’t get behind them thus far. Maybe it’s because I wore a pair of dress shorts in one of my senior photos in high school and I realize how frickin’ doofy they look now. What are we thinking about dress shorts? Yea or nay? I vote nay.
Another thing I need your opinion on, is hugging at work. Are we for this? See, I saw someone hug another someone and I would bet one hundred grillion dollars that the huggie was totally repulsed by what was happening. But that didn’t stop the hugger. I was really embarrassed by the whole thing. Just witnessing it was awkward. But then, the other day, a co-worker of mine told me something really great, and I really wanted to hug her about it. So I went in for the hug, but in the moments where I was traveling toward her in a mid-hug-ambush, I remembered the unwanted hug advance that I had witnessed last week, and I was horrified that I might be doing this very thing to another unsuspecting person who is just trying to get through their day without colleague-squeezing, but then I felt like I couldn’t NOT hug the person, because it was clear to all that I was in mid-hug motion and to stop in the middle would be even more rude, so then before I could stop myself I opened my mouth and said “I’m totally going to hug you right now” and that made it worse, didn’t it? There’s nothing like emphasizing an awkward gesture like articulating it out loud on top of the whole thing, is there?
Why do I always have trouble hugging? This is how I got myself into the face-press debacle of ’08.