I think I got this from the Soggy Librarian, aka Hopscotch. You should do it too. Double Dog Dare you.
1. Who was your first prom date?
I took a very serious political stand against prom when I was in school. Hey, some people took down apartheid. My issue was prom. You think I am kidding, but I am not. That is a story for another time.
2. Do you still talk to your first love?
Yes, about once a year. Haven’t seen him since high school so I still picture him as a 17 year old and I sometimes embarrassedly think about what a good kisser he was. Don’t tell him I said that because the mortification would strike me dead.
3. What was your first alcoholic drink?
A Segram’s Wine Cooler in some ridiculous berry flavor. It was red as I recall. Basically it was spiked Kool-Aid. And I drank a bunch of them and got loopy, and then went out dancing in a club and felt so grown up because I was underage. What a klassy young lady I was.
4. What was your first job?
Making people deceased, and not by killing them or anything.
5. What was your first car?
Although it technically wasn’t “mine” per se (did I just say per se?), I drove my mom’s little red Mazda 323 around my home town like crazy when I was 16. I thought that was so STYLIN’ back then. I also had this little bendy mod doll hanging on the rearview mirror. She had the head of Julie Newmar and the body of Gumby. My virginal, sex-obsessed friend Jason would contort poor Gumby Newmar into Kama Sutra-esque positions when I wasn’t looking and then leave her like that and if I wasn’t paying attention she would stay like that and then my mom would see it.
6. Who was the first person to text you today?
7. Who is the first person you thought of this morning?
Nordic Boy, since he was right there. Although I did have a dream last night where Simon Doonan came into the library and told me that our summer reading display was hideous. So that sort of counts.
8. Who was your first grade teacher?
Mrs. Czap. Pronounced ZAP. How friggin’ awesome is that? I just want to keep saying it. Mrs. CZAP. It’s like a superhero name. Although pronouncing it “Ka-zap” is also quite nice. Nordic Boy had an elementary school teacher named Mrs. Knipple. And it was actually pronounced “Ka-nipple.” Now there’s something you don’t hear every day.
9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane?
When I was a year and a half, I went back to Fiji with the fam. My parents got on a plane, for a trip which was in those days about 48 hours long, with four small children. God bless ’em.
10. Who was your first best friend, and are you still friends with him/her?
My first best friend was Malin, who I was friends with when I was in the first few days of our lives because our parents were friends. So it was like an arranged friend marriage in that our parents put us together. Luckily, we adored each other and went on many little kid adventures together all the way through middle school when she moved away. I am still friends with her, in that Facebook sort of way. She still rocks.
11. What was your first sport played?
I never really played sports since I was in ballet every single minute of my life from age 4 until adulthood. I used to be such a wuss in gym class too. I was that person that never took anything seriously (surprised?) and so my gym teachers didn’t like that too much, because, you know, I was having too much FUN. How ridiculous of me.
12. Where was your first sleepover?
I can’t possibly remember my first one, since me and my friends were crashing at each other’s houses all the time. People were always staying for dinner and staying over and I was always doing the same. I have a feeling people don’t do that any more, because parents seem way more controlling now. I get why, but still it’s sad to me.
13. Who was the first person you talked to today?
Simon Doonan. I am going to go with saying Simon Doonan. Although he did most of the talking.
14. Whose wedding were you in the first time?
You know that saying “always a bridesmaid, never a bride?” My saying is “Never a bride, nor a bridesmaid.” This is one of those things that people can NOT imagine to be true, as almost every one of my friends has bridesmaid-ed a jillion times. Part of it is that many of my friends are unconventional girlies who don’t really do the whole wedding thing, or if they do then they don’t do it with a lot of tradition. Of the people who are more traditional, they have just never asked me. Sometimes I secretly wonder if it’s because they think that I think weddings are dumb or something, which I don’t. Just because I don’t want one doesn’t mean I wouldn’t don some seafoam taffeta get up for a homegirl. But no one has asked me. Boo hoo.
15. What was the first thing you did this morning?
Looked out the window to make sure it was sunny. It is not. It is thunderstorming and hailing. I was TOLD that it would be sunny today. I was TOLD. I was also told I could listen to the radio at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven.
16. What was the first concert you ever went to?
Chronology is difficult for me to remember on this one. I went with my parents to see Dizzy Gillespie. I also went to a Neil Young concert with my brother when I was in elementary school. So one of those. I can’t remember which was first.
17. What was your first tattoo or piercing?
This is a whole other story for another time, but my first attempt at getting my ears pierced was HORRIFYING.
18. What was the first foreign country you went to?
It feels weird to say Fiji, since that doesn’t seem “foreign” to me. So I will say Canada. Now that shit is foreign. They put gravy on FRIES, people.
19. What was your first run-in with the law?
The po-po was always on our ass back in the day. Breaking up friends’ parties, pulling my family over in our car, all that stuff. One time police came up my parents driveway and pulled their guns on them as they were getting out of their car in their own damn garage for some fuck-all reason, and if you ever saw my two teeny little innocent parents that would seem even more racist than you might even want to believe. I still have to fight off a deep seated fear of cops sometimes, but mostly I am over it. It really helped me when Alli’s brother became a cop because then I knew a good cop. I realize there’s lots of great po-po out there so please don’t send me hate mail. I’m just talking about how I grewed up thinking. And that I can’t remember my first run-in with the law as I feel like they were everywhere even though there was no law-breaking going on in my vicinity.
20. When was your first detention?
I got in a lot of trouble in high school, but I rarely got caught. For this reason, I was often the person that all my friends would “send in” when something untoward needed to happen.
21. What was the first state you lived in?
Michigan, baby, born and raised, in the playground was where I spent most of my days.
22. Who was the first person to break your heart?
Little kid style, it was probably Mike, the menage-a-hand-holder. Goddamn hand whore.
23. Who was your first roommate?
My sister and I shared a bedroom, where she had a flouncy canopy bed with a grape pattern all over it, and i had a mattress and box spring on the floor. I’m just saying. My first non-family roomie was Rebecca at dance school when I was 12. Rebecca looked and acted (in my worldly 12 year old opinion) like she was 10. I hung out with her older sister the whole time I was at that school, who was 15. This was my m.o. back then. I always had older friends in dance school and learned many things I shouldn’t have from them. Dang I loved those guys.
24. Where did you go on your first limo ride?
My first limo ride was to my graduation ceremony and we were so friggin’ excited about it we could have DIED.
On a totally unrelated note, it hailed on our house in the middle of the night last night. It was loud, especially because it was hitting the tarp that is covering our roof right now. It woke both of us up with a jolt.
Me: Is that hail?
Nordic Boy: HAIL NO!
We both fell immediately back to sleep. This morning? I keep thinking about that and cracking up. That he would yell out HAIL NO and we would just go back to the Sandman like that. We are so weird. Well, technically, he is so weird. I just get to bear witness.