Dr. Princess

I would like to start off with an apology. If you have called me in the past week or so, I probably said something like “I am so busy I really can’t talk right now can I call you back later because I have eleventy five things going on right this second in fact my hands are full so I may drop this cell phone any minute so sorry about this see you later ok thanks bye!” I have discovered that when I am under duress, the first thing that leaves me is punctuation. I talk in one long uninteruppted sentence like that. I was noticing this all week. I would start to say something, and it would just NOT END. If I am ever held up at gunpoint, where it is really a stressful situation and not made up bullshit task list stuff like I have going on now, I am for sure going to be shot, just because my mouth will go on overdrive.

So the next big thing on my agenda this week (look at me, acting like I have an AGENDA) is to drive down to California and pick up Bio-Girl, who has done gone and got herself thesissifed and doctored up and Pee Aitch Deed. Now it’s time for her to stop all this edu-ma-cation nonsense and be all jobby and stuff and she has decided to come back and make Seattle her grown up home town.

I know I just got done telling you all about how I met Nordic Boy, but I figured now would be a good time to tell you all how I met the other love of my life, Bio-Girl. This story doesn’t take a bajillion years though, so don’t be scared that I am about to drag you into another miniseries, kay?

A few years after I moved to Seattle, I decided it was time to get me back to school for some more undergraduate degreeing. This time around, I decided to get two degrees, all at once. Not double majoring, but two separate degrees. I know. What a nutball. Because of this decision, I didn’t have a lot of time for a regular job. Yadda yadda yadda, I ended up working for this place on campus that rented canoes for tourist types and locals who had a hankering to canoe themselves around Lake Washington.

I was a professional canoe renter. How awesome is that?

There are so many canoe stories I could tell you, it’s not even funny. Who knew that the canoe business was where all the funny, weird things were happening? It was probably the kookiest job I ever had (and that is saying something), with enough quirky characters to fill up many blog posts. I’ll save those for another time and just get to me and Bio-Girl.

All of the staff at Canoes R Us were undergrads and although I was an undergrad too, I was a few years older than everyone else due to my Zigzaggy Life Path. I remember there was this one guy, a fratty bean pole named Sterling (ok his name really wasn’t Sterling, but trust me his real name was just as…Sterling-ish), and one day we were hosing the goose poop off the dock together (jealous?), and somehow it came out that I was a bit older than the average college age person (I think I was like 25 or something) and he looked at me like I was about to pop my teeth out and tell him about my childhood in the Great Depression.

So this group at the canoe place were all friends with each other, and dated each other, and did all those college-y type things. I was friendly with everyone, but I kind of kept to myself too. Bio-Girl was a wee one of 19 when we met, and I have to tell you, I thought she was kind of princessey. I can’t quite remember why I thought this. I wish I had some anecdote about her wearing a tiara or some such but I don’t. I think it has been established between the two of us that she thought I was so quiet as to just about be mute.

Princess and the Mute. Doesn’t that sound like the ingredients for lifelong BFF-ness?

One day, I was hauling a big old gas can out to what was known as the Gas Locker. The Gas Locker was a beat down raggedy ass shed where we kept all the gas for the speedboats that we rode in to rescue people who fell out of their canoes (I am so not even making this up). When I got the Gas Locker, Bio Girl popped up out of nowhere and scared the bejeezus out of me. She had followed me to the Shed o’ Gas!

Her: Hey. I’m having a birthday party next weekend and I was hoping you could come.
Me: Ok. Sure.
Her: I know it’s weird that I followed you out to the Gas Locker to ask you, but I didn’t want to ask you in front of everyone else. Not everyone is invited.
Me: Ok.

You guys, I totally lied. I said I wasn’t going to make this a miniseries, but now I’ve gone and run out of time and I have to go. What is with me and the two or three-parters lately? Yeesh.

It’s kind of hard to believe that anyone would have thought I was mute, huh?

I’m out,
Librarian Girl


  1. i have a canoe story for you. once i rented a canoe from that place where you worked. it was my library school roomie and i, canoeing along, enjoying the sunshine and the flowers. we were in a pretty quiet spot when a flasher appeared on the shore. my roomie shouted “oh HA HA! it’s so tiny!” i couldn’t believe her. most women would feel victimized, but she disarmed him right away. he escaped into the bushes before he could be further humiliated.

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