I am really losing it, you guys. Prepare for this blog entry to make no sense. Because I am totally not even coherent right now. Have you ever had a week or two where you feel like you are about five steps behind yourself? Where, the moment you do one task, there are three or four more that spring up, and you feel like you never will catch up, ever? That your life, once an idyllic traipse through the park, has been reduced to a series of checklists that will never stop and that you will never get ahead of?
Really. I say again:
I know this woman, let’s call her Frazzle McDazzle. I don’t know her well, and have only been to parties and suchlike where she is also a guest. Frazzle is never at the party for the first half. Somewhere during the party, she will call the host or a party guest to apologize for being so late, but to assure everyone to expect her shortly. Although I am never the one that she would call in this situation, I always imagine that there are traffic noises and chaos in the background of wherever it is she is calling from, and that one may hear the pounding of her feet as she runs down the sidewalk on her way to the party. Eventually, she does show up to the gathering, and she always looks the same. She always bursts in, like Kramer. She is always completely harried, and even somewhat confused, as if she doesn’t know quite where she is. Sometimes her glasses are fogged up. Her hair is always messed up, and her coat is often hanging partway off of her shoulders as if she has almost run right out of her clothes. Her clothes are perpetually wrinkled. She often greets people at the party like this: “What? Oh hi.” Or maybe like this: “Huh? Nice to see you.” She is so Frazzled, she is truly dazzling.
I am turning into Frazzle McDazzle.
Huh? Oh hi.
I am all booked up, people. BACK TO BACK. Something happening ALL THE TIME. From before the sun comes up until half past Super Late. LISTS, EVERYWHERE, LISTS!
How did this happen? I don’t know, but it sucks. More than sucks. Su-hucks.
I am totally doing this to myself, I know. People don’t get crazy busy like this unless they are doing it to themselves, I get that. Here are some things that make me realize that I have to slow the fuck down.
1. I walked down the street yesterday? And the wind was a-blowin’ all crazy like, and it was blowing my hair right across my face. My hair is black. And thick. And if enough of it blows across my face, I can’t see a durn thing. I was in such a hurry, I just kept walking. BLIND FOLDED.
2. Last night I got home around 9:30. I wanted to fall right into bed, but I ate a little something and then watched a Battlestar Galactica episode on dvd with Nordic Boy. I love Battlestar Galactica. But in my current state of mind, I couldn’t even follow it. That’s right, I couldn’t follow a tv show. I was this lady:
“Who is that guy?”
“Why are they doing that?”
“How come they’re trying to kill him?”
“Wasn’t she there before?”
THE WHOLE TIME.
3. As I was running around doing alla my made up task-list shit, I found myself singing this weird song. “Batty batty bat, batty batty bat, batty batty bat! One two thrrree!” I don’t know what part of my brain this came out of. When I got to work the next day, I had to look it up. It was this.
Batty bat, indeed.
I’M TOTALLY LOSING IT, PEOPLE.
What? Oh hi.