Dr. Feelbad

Before I get to the story of the day, I have to clear something up. I forgot to answer questions from two lovely readers. I just skipped right over them. How rude.

Kelly Green Rogue asked:
How do you take your coffee?

I take it and I flush it down the terlet, because coffee is a nasty teeth-yellower that makes you have stank breath. No coffee for me!

If you could only listen to one cd for the rest of your life what would it be?
Eh. I don’t care much really. Hall and Oates Greatest Hits? Funky Funky Christmas by the New Kids on the Block? Paul Anka Sings the Blues? That last one isn’t real, but I kinda wish it was.

Do you wear sensible librarian shoes to work or something with a little more flair?
If you knew me in person, this would be the most laughable question in the world. Like, snort milk out your nose laughable. Of course I wear sensible shoes. If by sensible you mean Fierce and Faboo and definitely NON-DOWDY. I am without question 100% against dowd. Want an example? Here’s what I wore today.

Flair. Always flair.

teej said:
What is your favorite random act of kindness to bestow on total strangers (or people you know, but strangers is more fun)?

I’m kind to total strangers every single day, through my job. Awww, cheesy! But true.

Ok, I think I got to all the questions. If not, nudge me again and try not to call me a forgetful buttmunch, even though it may be just a little bit justified.

Here’s the deal. You know how I was on the hunt for a good hair stylist for a long time? I went to the super foofy place, and the WWE haircutter, etc. I finally did find someone, and I thought my searching was over.

But now, I am trying to find a good doctor. My insurance changed a while back and I have been in doctor-hell ever since. I can’t find a good one! And I have great insurance! How can this be? Where have all the good doctors gone?

Maybe I am spoiled. My dad was a doctor, the kind that people loved. I grew up in my town and people would stop me on the street to tell me about how my dad was the awesomest of the awesome. This is because, aside from the doctoring, my dad has the peeple skillz. He makes people feel good. He listens. He respects.

I went to this doctor the last few times I needed doctoring. The first time I saw her, she was super abrupt. It was like I was on the assembly line of health and she had to finish up with me because she had another lump of human tissue coming in any minute. She was a little bit rude. She made me feel like I was taking too long. Hurry up and tell me your symptoms! I am a doctor and I am so busy and important you know!

In a weird way, at first I kind of liked her. I tried to slant her abrupt-bordering-on-rude to mean that she was direct. To the point. And that was good, right? I don’t need a doctor to sugarcoat! I am tough feminista librarian! Give me the facts!

I went to her last week. I wanted to talk to her about something totally unrelated to my ladyparts. (The reason I am saying that is because it’s relevant to the rest of the story, not because I want to all the sudden talk about how I wasn’t talking about my ladyparts.) I had a concern. And she scoffed at my concern. SCOFFED.

Where in the bedside manner handbook does it talk about scoffing? What page? I want to see what PAGE.

After she scoffed at me and made me feel like I was a Total and Utter Waste of her precious Doctor JuJu, she says this:

Her: So, anything else?

(Not, how are you otherwise? Not, do you have any more questions? Nope. ANYTHING ELSE?)

Me: No, I think that’s it for now.

Her: Let me take a quick look at your file here. (glance) You know, if you want to have any kids, you better get started. You are getting kind of old.


First of all, does she know if I want kids? Nope. We have never talked about it. Second of all, what’s with the OLD? Third of all, OH MY GOD.

Aren’t doctors supposed to make you feel better?

The doctor search continues.

I’m out,
Librarian Girl


  1. Gawd, I had a similar experience the last time I went in. I thought I was there for a wellness checkup–routine physical, whatever, but he kept trying to get me to tell him what was wrong with me. Nothing! So I ended up with some allergy medication that stopped working after a couple of weeks. Awesome.So, if you find a good one…let me know.

  2. Dude, I can’t believe she that. You should file a formal complaint because that was unprofessional and rude and unacceptable. Shit, people like that make me so angry, and I think that making a complaint would give her the nudge she needs to PULL HER HEAD OUT OF HER ASS. You might be able to surmise that I participate in those voluntary “Rate our service!” programs often (and with honesty).

  3. awww, no, that BITCH!! I’d prescribe a KARATE CHOP TO THE NECK for that lady. or a swift kick in the sternum. if you ever go back (which, why would you, but let’s pose it anyway as a hypothetical), you should totally unroll all of that paper that rolls out from one end to cover the exam table, and you should also dump all of the tongue depressors and super long q-tip swab thingies in the bio-waste bin. see how she likes THAT!

  4. If you lived in my region I’d totally recommend you see my doctor, he is the bestest! He draws diagrams of how you will get better. And he’s kinda cheeky and likes a giggle, in the appropriate circumstances I hasten to add. Good luck with the search. Coolio shoes btw. You’ve gotta love a good wedge :o)

  5. Oh yeah, i agree with rachel. You should complain or at least write a letter. I hate doctors. I admit it’s complete fear of what assholes they can be and also the fact I pay them a fortune for 15 minutes of their time, but I have never been to a doctor that was not rushed, abrupt and not listening or did indeed also scoff at me and hint that I was just being a big baby. I’m very glad I’m healthy, because I won’t go see a doctor unless my neck is hanging by a thread.

  6. I forgot to add that I wish there was a good regional database for doctor reviews that was actually useful. (and there are some, but they are not well known or user friendly and people certainly don’t use them very much) It would have to be a constructive criticism thing, not just people bitching about their problems…But it would be nice. I would like to rate my doctors just like I rate my local restaurants.

  7. not answering your question but bringing up a topic you didn’t even mention? and then on top if it insulting you? rude. i’d ask people you work with/live near for recommendations if it’s not to weird of a question. i’ve found that people love to talk about doctors, good and bad, much more than i had expected.

  8. A few years ago, I had a conversation with my doc about having trouble losing weight. His reply? “At least you aren’t ugly.” REALLY? Here’s another gem: “Going to Italy huh? You’re all up to date on your vaccinations but don’t forget your birth control. You don’t want to come home with an Italian baby do you?” NO LIE. He was a bit crazy. Good luck finding a new doctor. I agree with Cadiz12, ask people you know about who they see. They’ll give you the scoop.

  9. She DID NOT say that. I can’t believe it. How tacky and unprofessonal and just plain rude. Someone should tell her a thing or two about good manners and a good bedside manner.

  10. Oh my goodness. What a rude bitch. I’m so sorry.If you lived in Atlanta, I would totally refer you to my doctor. She asks me questions about my personal life and then writes notes about them on my file. The next year when I go in for a check up she’ll ask me “so, how is x,y,z going for you since we last saw each other?” She also gives me a big hug before I leave her office. She will undergo any new semi-elective treatments before she will allow any of her patients to go through them so she can tell them exactly what they’re like. Luv her!

  11. Oh, the “hurry up with the kids” talk.Dump her on her blunt & abrupt butt & get thee to someone good! Or at least better than crappy.

  12. what an ass!!!! oh, right… as Rachel said… she definitely needs to pull said head out of connected ass. Even more awful than when I was pregnant, went for an ultrasound and the tech said “Is this your first? oh (noticing my age in my chart), yeah… probably your last, too!” I too wish I could direct you to my super-cool doc, who totally wanted to kick ass on the ultrasound tech when I told her about it…(anonymous ’cause I’m too addled to remember my log-in…)

  13. (hope this doesn’t double post….)Worst doctor EVER! At least in the top 20. I’ve had the rush job thing before, but she was just being a jerk.I would have kicked her in the shins, but that’s just me 🙂

  14. Wow, does she know that this is 2008 and people don’t have to start making babies as soon as biologically possible? Someone should get her a calendar.

  15. I actually gasped out loud when I read your post, then about two minutes later had to physically push my bottom jaw up to close my mouth from hanging open. I can’t even believe she said that. Can NOT believe.

  16. I’m thinking you need to post the doctor’s name. Ya know, because others need to know if that’s what they’re getting themselves into. Not slanderous…factual!Oh, and I would have shoved a few tongue depressors down her snatch face if she said that to me. And asked her if she had kids. If yes, then tell her that’s unfortunate that she has reproduced ugly snatch-faced children. 🙂

  17. So 5 minutes into my first visit to a new doctor the fellow starts looking for a living will form for me as soon as he asked my age (31) and learned I was unwed. Now, I understand that it is common for doctors to hand out living wills to all patients (not that my previous medical professionals who I liked ever did), but trust me when I tell you it was just the beginning of his less than stellar bedside manner.Excuse me while I go feed my 27 cats and search for two strangers to sign off on the document that will end what is sure to become my sad and empty life.

  18. Eeep! My doctor who I love dearly and treat like she’s my best friend even though I’m sure she couldn’t pick me out of a line-up, asked me the same question when I went in for a general check up a couple years ago. I didn’t think twice about it – I just assumed it was part of the standard exam, not unlike “do any drugs lately”. What with all the focus on preventative medicine and “wellness”, I don’t find the question troublesome. The implication that your biological clock is at 5 to midnight is a little uncalled for, though.

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