Ask and Ye Shall Be McSkilletted

Look at me, rocking the mini-series style blog posts! First there was the Three Chapter Nordic Boy Story That Was Akin to Beating a Dead Horse, and now it’s taken me two posts to answer alla these gorgeous questions that you all threw at me last week. Wordy much?

Let’s do this, home skillet! Questions, Part Dos!

Oh, but first, have you guys seen all the billboards around that are advertising the McSkillet Burrito at McDonalds? They are EVERYWHERE. Ladies and gentlemen, I ask you. What the hossenpfeffer is a McSkillet Burrito? It’s a burrito, made in a skillet, I suppose. I guess it is pretty self-explanatory. But this item warrants a media blitz? I don’t get it.

That’s all I have to say about that.

Onwards, Home McSkillets!

Becky said:

I have struggled for half my life trying to figure out what I want to do for a living, until reading here, and you reminded me of my love for the library and all things brainy, and I think I might want to be LG2. do you love working in libraryland? what does it take to be a librarian? is there a dark, seedy underbelly that no one knows about? do you feel strange, knowing that you may have inspired a stranger to change their careerpath?

Ok, Becky, let’s break it down.
Do you love working in libraryland?

Why yes I do. I believe public library work suits me perfectly. There are all sorts of librarian gigs that you can get, but I am a public services lady (dirty!) so that’s all I can speak to so keep that in mind. Which brings us to:

What does it take to be a librarian?

What does it take, you ask? Well let me tell you something. You think the library is all about free stuff? It ain’t free! Because right here is where you start paying! In SWEAT! Just kidding, I just wanted to say that. You know how Debbie Allen says that in the opening of Fame? I always wanted to say that to someone so I just threw it in. There’s really no sweat in librarianship, unless you count a patron here or there. What does it take to be a librarian, besides the requisite love of informational exchange? A good temperament helps. If you’re a grumpy sort coming in to this profession, then this gig will take you DOWN. Non-judgmentalism helps a whole hell of a lot (you wanted to judge me for saying non-judgmentalism, didn’t you?). You will be asked everything from the highly cerebral one moment right down to “where can I buy a phone just like Paris Hilton?” the next moment. You’ve got to treat them all respectfully. If you’re easily skeeved out by different folks with different strokes, then probably not the best job for you. Also, you have to be ok with having lots of face time. Because it’s you, at the reference desk, open to the masses, most days and most times. You are a library celebrity! People will come up to you and talk. CONSTANTLY. And (in case you didn’t know this) you are expected to talk back to them. And sometimes they say really weird shit, and sometimes it’s really hard to understand what the eff they are talking about, but it’s your JOB to try and figure it out. This actually appeals to me, so I’m golden. But it ain’t for everyone that’s for damn sure. As for feeling weird that a stranger may have been inspired by me, I am only ok with it if you promise me that if you DO ever really become a librarian, you will at some point in your life sing, out loud, into the sky “You’re My Inspiration” by Peter Cetera and think of me. I am so totally not kidding.

Rachel said:

1) Do you ever have the impulse to talk like a gangsta in real life?

First of all, what is this real life of which you speak? Don’t you all know by now that I am a disembodied head that lives in your computer drive and I make my thoughts appear on your screen through the interweb tubes? And yes, I do sometimes have the impulse to talk like a gangsta. I also have impulses to talk in various accents (French is a fun one) and character voices (Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget is a standby) and I think I have already documented my need to sing nonsense songs. IF YOU MUST KNOW.

2) When did you live in Madison (WI)? Or did you just visit?

I lived in Madison back in the mid-90s and I friggin’ loved it. This is a weird thing because I had the shittiest job in the history of time and space when I lived there and the scariest apartment I ever lived in too, and the time in my life was not so great and it was colder than penguin snot a lot of the time and I found it really hard to make friends there because I was working all the goddamn time, and yet I was horridly poor, but still? I loved that place. Love, love, love. I think if I ever moved away from Seattle, that town would be one place I might consider.

-r- said:
– are wannabe writers allowed to or supposed to have writer’s block ?
and I love everything about the library! the smell the sound the scene

That should so totally be our new slogan for our library system. “the smell the sound the scene.” Ok, maybe not the smell. That doesn’t sound so good, does it? As for writer’s block, I don’t know. First of all I don’t really know what a wannabe writer is. Writing is an action. Either you’re doing it or not. If you’re doing it, you’re a writer as far as I’m concerned. We can have all kinds of arguments about if you or I or whoever is a sucky writer, but if you’re writing, even if it sucks, it counts. And then the thing about being allowed to have writer’s block? Allowed? What is that all about? Allowed by who or what? Supposed to? These are words that don’t mean much to me. Which, one could argue, is apparent by the drivel that comes out of this here mind of mine. I mean, I talked about a McSkillet Burrito up there. So what the hell do I know about writing?

WDL said:
Tell me about something that you deeply anticipated, and then were bitterly disappointed. Like Ralphie and the Orphan Annie secret decoder ring.

I know I have talked two times about the damn McSkillet Burrito, and maybe that’s what is making me think of this story, but for a long time, I had never in my life had an Egg McMuffin from McDonald’s. Never! And for a short time, I became mildly obsessed with wanting to try one. On weekend mornings, I would try to get Nordic Boy to get on board with this idea. “Come on! Let’s get up early and go get us an Egg McMuffin!” He did not help me with this. “How about we just buy the stuff, and I will MAKE you an Egg McMuffin,” he would say. And he did that. But still, I was somehow convinced that the real thing would be better. I finally got one. Nasty egg-powder on a dry sawdust muffin was what it was. Does this really qualify as being “bitterly disappointed” you ask? But I was. I was McDisappointed Burrito.

Sarah said:
Somehow, you find yourself able to live a life inspired by a magazine or a catalogue. Which one do you choose?

Ok, so it’s not really a magazine, and it’s not really a catalogue either (see how I just flagrantly ignore things that don’t suit me?) but the website design*sponge is heavenly to me.

anonymous said:
Would you rather have salt coming out of one nostril and pepper out of the other, or, ketchup and mustard, respectively?

Well I can certainly see why you chose to remain anonymous on this one. I suppose I will go with the ketchup and mustard. Just because.

Pop Quiz Kid said:
Alright, someone has a gun to your head and is forcing you to sleep with one of the following pundits: Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, or Bill O’Reily. Who do you choose?

That is the most evil question I have ever heard in my life. But you know what? I am not scareda you or your satanic questions! You know what I say to you? ALL OF THEM TOGETHER. (Ok I am totally lying and if this scenario occurred that gun would have to go off before I would let any one of them near my nether regions but since you got all gross with the question I just wanted to top you with the grossness).

Megan said:
Are there people you envy enough to want to trade lives with them? Who are they?

Hells no. Not even a little bit.

If you could eliminate any one type of insect permanently from the earth, what would you get rid of? (totally roaches for me!)

Bugs don’t bother me, really. Can I eliminate McSkillet Burritos?

I’m out,
Librarian Girl


  1. thanks for the excellent answers, they were awesome, the library sounds like a viable career option! but I must tell you, I am a bit skeeved about singing you a Chicago ballad, especially THAT particular Chicago ballad, because I neither “know our love was meant to be, the kind of love that lasts forever”, nor do I “wanna have you near me, wanna have you near me sayin’, no one needs you more than I need you.”why do I suddenly want a mcskillet burrito?

  2. We can totally adopt the slogan and are you sure about leaving the smell out? I love the way the pages smell, with newness sometimes and with age!I do not care about ‘supposed to’ or ‘allowed to’ either. Good to know I am not alone!! And about McSkillet, everyone tells me I should be happy there is no McDonald’s here! Thanks LG!

  3. i have always had a soft spot for librarians, ever since i was three and my mom would take me every saturday and this one white-haired lady would set books aside just for me. but my true respect and love for the badassness of the librarian came in 2002 when a colleague and i were arguing about the lyrics to “Dangerous on the Dancefloor” by musto and bones and no one could find them anywhere on the entire Internet. The argument got so heated that I hauled off and called the library, and this superawesome librarian answered the phone, didn’t mock me for my ridiculous question and even told me that she loved that song in college and she totally knew what i was talking about and that she’d do her darnedest to find the lyrics for me. She didn’t end up finding them, but hell if she didn’t use all of her superpowers to try, following up with me the next day. that effort was enough to make my freaking week.I love you librarians.

  4. Wha? Egg powder? I think you didn’t have a proper McMuffin. I *love* them. Minus the meat, ’cause I’m just not a ham kinda girl. Well, loved them, until I read “Fast Food Nation” and reality sucked all the fun out of it. Darn reality.But, really – a fresh egg McMuffin? Tasty stuff.

  5. “the smell the sound the scene” ah yes. lots of smelly people in the library. i can usually deal, but once i was working in a cute carnegie library by a big lake with a popular walking/jogging/rollerblading path (you know the one) and this homeless woman came in and set her duffel bag in front of my desk and walked away. i almost threw up the smell was SO bad!

  6. As with so much libraryland stuff, the tagline “the smell, the sound, the scene” means one thing in a public library, another (nicer? because of more old books and bound journals?) in an academic library, and something else again in a “special library” (a business’s library: like one at the chemical company, say).

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