Burning Questions (They Make A Cream for That)

Daylight is coming back, people! The clocks are springing forward this Sunday and I am SO ALL ABOUT THAT. I haven’t been this excited since Don Knotts went out west to fight “oral ignorance” in The Shakiest Gun in the West.

Ok, so I’ve been excited since then. I just wanted to throw in something about Don Knotts and his Oral Ignorance campaign because that movie is all kinds of awesome and I was trying to think of something awesome and that’s the first thing that popped in my head and once I started thinking about it I kind of couldn’t think of anything more awesome.

This is the way my mind works. I can’t help it.

Okey dokey. As promised, I shall go back in time and answer those questions that you all were kind enough to ask me. Strap on that Flux Capacitor, friends!

Wow, a Strap On Flux Capacitor. Dirt. Ee.

Here goes. And depending on the wordyness that transpires forthwith, I may have to break this up into parts. If I don’t get to your question this time, it’s because I’m totally rejecting you and all that you stand for. Either that or I am too tired/lazy and I will get to the rest of it during another post. One of those.

Way back on February 19, someone out there wanted to know the following.

Question 1. Ahem.

Hey, Library lady, it is Palindrome. Mr. Fargo and I were discussing the movie Jumper on the way to work. Basically, the guy has the ability to jump through space and be anywhere. You know, breakfast in a Paris cafe, a hike in Rockies, a nap on a beach in Aruba, dinner in Rome, etc. No time travel appears to be involved. We discussed how we would have spent the day with such a talent. This also then led to the rule that this is a talent you will retain for some time so as not to try and cram all world travel in a 24-hour period. Like what would a typically Saturday involve? Your thoughts? By the way, I hear the movie sucks.

This one is so easy, because for many years now, I have been waiting for the Great Scientific Minds to invent a teleporter. WAITING. You know it is going to happen. All those Star Trek things are going to come along sooner or later, including the spandex jumpsuits, I just know it. And since so many of my close friends live so damn far away I would be jumping through space to visit all ya’ll. It would be like What About Bob, you would be so sick of me knocking on your door. Sightseeing is fine and all, but seeing loved ones is much better. Also, I would go to Dollywood.

Josh says:
I sure do notice that different music changes my mood in different ways. Golly! I just have to ask – what kinds of music can affect your mood for better or worse?

I’m super duper excited for your reply! Gee wiz!

I watched this documentary about Pete Seeger last week. I admire him a lot, but you know what? I don’t think he sounds good. I feel bad even saying it, because he stood up to MCCARTHYISM, and he wrote We Shall Overcome, and he cleaned up the friggin’ Hudson RIVER, you know what I’m saying? I want to like his music because he seems like a super cool dude. But man. The sound.

You’re probably wondering what this has to do with mood, right? Well the thing about Pete Seeger is that he was all about the Sing-Along. If you were to ask me my feelings about the concept of the Sing-Along, I would say that I was unequivocally against the whole idea of it. I hate the idea of coercing other people to do stuff that maybe they don’t want to do. It’s like, it’s this democratic idea (hey, let’s all sing together! every voice is important! everyone can participate!), but really? It’s peer pressure. What if you don’t want to sing? Chances are, I might not want to sing. That should totally be ok, you know? I am taking a stand right now and it is against peer-pressured singing.

So imagine my surprise when I realized that, as I contemplated Josh’s question (oh that is correct, people, I said contemplated), the thing that comes to mind is the fact that what puts me in a good mood, song-wise, is a song that makes you just want to bust out into a sing-along with it. I don’t care if it’s a “good” song or a “bad” song. If it makes me want to belt it out, THAT puts me in a good mood. Examples: Barracuda, by Heart. Low, by Flo Rida. Bless Your Beautiful Hide from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. Could You Be Loved by Bob Marley. At Last by Etta James. Pavarotti singing Nessun Dorma. I Love Trash by Oscar the Grouch. Good mood. Instantaneous.

Leah said

Who is your all time favorite pop band and why?

True confession time. This makes me feel even less human than not liking Pete Seeger. I’m not what you would call a Music Person. I don’t seek out new bands, or go hear live music all that often, or really listen to music with all that much intention. I have an iPod and I listen to it, sure. But not that often. I don’t have strong opinions about music, as it seems almost everyone else does. Like when I said up there that I didn’t like Pete Seeger? That just means that I wouldn’t seek him out. But really, I could listen to him just fine and have an appreciation for his talent. There are very few musicians out there that I don’t appreciate on some level. So for me, favorites? I don’t know. I think that I have always been this way, but have become more militant with my non-committal attitude after dating two band dudes in my formative years. These dudes were both professional musicians, where they didn’t have to have another day job or anything, and they were the most musically opinionated effers you ever care to meet. Which made me think that that was all boolshizz and turned me into someone who is all whatevs about the whole thing. It’s like hanging around with Foodies who just make you want to eat a casserole with Pringles crunched up over the top, you know?

Wilma said…
Who did you want Angela Chase to end up with – Jordan Catalano or Brian Krakow?
Ok, FINALLY. An easy question! I may not be able to come down on a side on many things. Jack or Sawyer? Betty or Wilma? But this? I KNOW. Angela shouldn’t have ended up with either of those clowns. I mean really. THESE are her options? Don’t settle, Angela! Don’t you do it!

-R- said…

What is the most amusing thing someone has ever asked you to research?
Hmmm. Honestly, it may be that I don’t get too many amusing questions, or it may be that I have been asked so many that I don’t even recollect any more. My most favorite type of amusement at work is when a co-worker or I get into a sort of “Who’s on First?” conversation with a patron. Where they are trying to explain something to us, and we are trying to explain something to them, and it all gets jacked up somewhere in the middle. This sort of situation can turn into Charades, or it can turn into a session where someone is drawing someone else a diagram. Doesn’t happen too often, but when it does, it is high-liarious.

I feel the need to ask you a pop-culture-ish question too. Um, what TV show is better: Who’s the Boss or Full House?

Oh my god. That is the best question ever. I contemplated making the answer to this question a whole separate post unto itself, because I have so much to say about it, but let me give you the highlights. Let’s break it down into zones. Clearly, Full House had better hair. Although it also had many, many more catchphrases (Aw nuts! Cut, It, Out!, Have mercy!, How rude!, Whoa baby!, etc.) I think the simple, yet elegant “Ay-oh-ay-oh-ay” of Tony Micelli beats all of that. Also, although I do have a soft spot in my heart for Mona, the precursor to Blanche DuBois in oversexed granny land, I have to admit that Kimmy Gibbler was funnier, as unfunny side characters go. Also, I am much more partial to the dark, creepy lyrics of the Full House theme song (“Everywhere you look, everywhere you look, there’s a heart! A hand to hold on to. Everywhere you look, everywhere you look, there’s a face! Of somebody who needs you.”) Who’s the Boss was much, um, sexier, if you can call it that.

My head just may explode from this. I need to draw up a much more complicated matrix of scoring to truly handle this question. I may have to just leave it at that.

Added a few minutes too late: Blanche DEVEREUX. Not DuBois! For Jeebus sake. I do apologize.

I’m out,
Librarian Girl


  1. I’m presenting at a conference near Dollywood later this year and mapped out how long it would take to drive there when I requested my travel dates last week! It’s only 4 hours away so I’m SERIOUSLY thinking about going.

  2. I went to Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge last month for a weekend. I was right down the street from Dollywood but didn’t go because I was with a group of people and we really didn’t have time. I can say this because I’m overweight. One of my friends has gone to Dollywood a couple of times and she’s a little chunky too. She said everyone there is huge. I think it might have done my ego some good if I had stopped by.

  3. hate to be a downer, but i did read this article last year about how teleportation of humans probably isn’t ever gonna be possible: http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/10/10/human.teleportation/index.htmland in your rainy northwest city you are surrounded by music lovers, but it isn’t the case in other places. i loved living there because i am a music lover, but in my sunny southern cali locale, foodies and rabid music fans are virtually nonexistent.

  4. I went to Dollywood when I was in 3rd grade and it was pretty awesomely tacky. My parents and I did one of those ridiculous old timey picture things (we were very very warm and grimacing) and you can buy polyester umbrellas with your name in silver marker. I’m pretty sure I still have mine in my parents basement. And yes, sauntering soul is right, the people there are quite robust.So I say that if teleportation ever works out, you go pick up your loved ones and take them to Dollywood.

  5. Now that you’ve brought up Pete Seeger, I’ve started thinking about Bob Seger. Working’ on our night moves is going to be stuck in my head all weekend. Thanks!

  6. omg. jonathan totally made me all puffy down there when was younger. who knew what that meant then?imagine my delight when I found out he was really a homo!and imagine my disgust when he posted provocative nudes of himself on a craigslist like dating site.imagine my delight when i realized i could look at them whenever i wanted.imagine my disgust with myself for looking at them whenever i wanted.now, onword and forward, i have a new celebrity crush. Super hot news anchor Dan Kloeffler, who I just know totes wants to marry me and make me have babies.xo,WDL

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