Mild Weather in Seattle My Ass

What do you do if you:

a) have a fear and hatred of cold weather the likes of which is so out of control that all of your friends and family tell you that you need psychological treatment because you whine so goddamn much about it; and

b) have the day off although you just had one on account of it being Jesus’ birthday; and

c) don’t have your gloves, hat and scarf with you; and

d) are wearing shoes that can not in any way be described as “weatherproof” or “practical”; and

e) are witnessing icy rain pelt down in a sideways fashion?

You decide, as you’re driving back from the store, that you need to go to the plant nursery, of course. The outdoor plant nursery. Just for the pure joy of being completely underdressed for December in Seattle and to see just how wet one can get while running around trying to find a good deal on some plants. And to remember with nostalgia what it was like to not be able to feel your hands and then to feel them painfully thaw out just as you did as a child growing up in Michigan. And to watch a droplet of moisture actually freeze up on the end of your beloved’s nose as he tries to pick out a lovely evergreen shrub before it gets too dark. And to experience what a huge nursery is like when there is not one other person there. Even the people who work there are huddled inside. Buncha wusses.

You do this because you have a coupon for this nursery that expires on December 29. And the savings are too great to pass up. And even as you curse your parents for making you so pathologically frugal, you run around the nursery just the same, milking the coupon for all it’s worth, even though the experience is making you seriously consider peeing in your pants just to feel a few seconds of warmth in your nether regions which you fear may never have feeling again.

At the end of it all, you have some new winter plants, at a STEAL of a price, and a compliment that you never thought you would hear.
Nordic Boy: (on the way home) Wow. You didn’t even whine once. That WHOLE TIME.

At the close of 2007, this is the biggest statement of progress one could make about me. I’m so proud.

swansons12-27-07
Even Nordic Boy was cold. And he’s NORDIC.

I’m out,
Librarian Girl

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6 comments

  1. Thank goodness the coupon I had which expired today was for a cosmetics store so I stayed indoors and got a free bottle of moisturizer. And on top of that, the girl helping me told me I didn’t need age defying stuff because she doesn’t see any wrinkles on my face. Since I’m 39, this might be the best Christmas present I got this year.I hope you enjoy the discounted plants you suffered for just as much.

  2. Sounds like a pretty fab shopping trip to me! And I’m glad you remembered your frozen Michigan roots. My winter weather woe this year is trying to teach my chihuahua to poop and pee outside in 12 inches of snow… he is approximately 6 inches tall at this point in his life. Damn snow!

  3. I’ve noticed when I comment that it never matches what anyone else says, it’s usually some nonsense thing that stands out that I love the most. This is yet another example! And so my comment is: I am so happy that someone else out there wears totally impractical shoes in bad weather. Yay!

  4. I’m not only nordic but always cold; my friends used to call me the freezing stick (frysepind). (We’d be outside building an igloo. Me: “Can we go inside now?” Friend: “Oh Stine! You’re such a freezing stick!”) What I don’t understand is why New Year’s has to be during one of the coldest times of the year. I will never wear a tiny sleveless party dress and high heels and wander out and about on December 31st, unless I move to the Canary Islands.

  5. First, that’s totally the best photo caption ever (okay maybe not ever but it’s pretty darn great!) And just think, whenever you see the plants, you’ll remember what you went through to get them and when people compliment your plants, you can tell them that story (I like having long complicated stories in my arsenal)

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