I’m going to let you guys in on a little secret. I’ve been feeling lonely lately. I am not a wallowing, sad sack type by nature, so when I get to feeling this way, it kind of throws me for a loop. When the lonliness sets in, where do you put it?
I know that I am inundated with social happenings, so it seems a weird thing to feel lonesome. It’s not a lack of people around me that I am feeling, it’s the lack of specific people that I miss so much. Usually, I am a career long-distance champion. I grew up with most of my extended family living on an island in the South Pacific without ready access to telephones and getting to see them only once every two or three years. I have lived my entire adult life across the country from my beloved mom and dad. I know how to manage having people far away, as my phone bill and snail mail tendencies will illustrate. I am a five-star keeper-in-touch lady. If you are important to me, we’ll talk often, and lovey feelings will remain in tact. This is totally second nature to me 99% of the time. But when that last 1% hits, it hits kind of hard. It gets blown all up out of proportion and starts to feel a little ridiculous, but not any less real. I miss my peeps, you guys. My parents. My pals Alli and Map, who I wish lived down the street from me like they used to when we were kids, instead of ten billion states away. Biology Girl and Neighbor J, my two best friends who are far away and each busy nurturing a newborn PhD thesis and a newborn baby, respectively (sorry Bio-Girl, but the baby is way cuter than that thesis of yours). Nordic Boy being away on business each week. I am good at being alone, but sometimes, the aloneness can feel…palpable.
Wow, see what you get when I have to post every day? You don’t know what you’re going to get- I usually wait until I am my usual chipper funny girl mood to post. But now, I just have to run with what I am thinking about for the day. There is not one lick of pop culture fun in me this morning, unless you want me to talk about my thoughts on how Kris Jenner on Keeping Up with the Kardashians looks like Cruella DeVille? Anyone? Anyone? I didn’t think so.
The good news is that, for whatever reason, my genetic makeup seems to be that I am unable to feel bad about shit for more than like, a couple of hours. It’s like I get sick of the whining in my own head and I tell myself to shut the hell up and get on with things. I’m a glass half full kind of person, despite the fact that “glass half full” is sort of an annoying expression. I’ll feel the lonely for a little bit, then I start to tell myself that hey, at least I have these people in my life who love me, even if they are not in the exact geographic location that I would prefer them to be. In fact, I am hearing that voice in my head right now. Shut up. Get on with things. You’re right. Totally right.
Oops, I think I just let the cat out of the bag that I hear voices in my head and I talk back to them. Well. Now you know that.
Anyway, one thing I don’t miss? You guys! Wait, that came out wrong. What I mean is, blog friends are awesome.
So, to recap.
1. If you’re a loved one of mine and you’re out there reading this, I miss you.
2. Mrs. Jenner probably wears puppy coats.
3. I feel bad sometimes, but not too bad, because that’s a waste of time.
4. Blog friends rock the hizzy.
5. Lastly, I hear voices.
Tell me, what do you do to cheer yourself up?
P.S. Hey Library Guy, if you’re reading this, you commented last week that you are doing NaBloPoMo, but I don’t have your link. Email it to me or comment it, wouldja? I want to read you.