Here it comes, homies. The Weekly. From me to you.
Weekly TeeVee: When I was in school, there were a couple days a week where I could watch tv during the day. On those days, there were times when I could not tear myself away from TLC. Dating Story. Wedding Story. Baby Story. Makeover Story. I could suck a whole day away watching this tripe. That love didn’t last long, and I moved on from my TLC days from there. Until recently. I heard about this show called Jon and Kate Plus 8. It’s a reality show where this married couple deal with the ups and downs and logistics of having 8 children, all under the age of 10. A pair of seven-year-old twins, and a set of three-year-old sextuplets. I didn’t think it would be something I would watch regularly, but I was curious about it, so I tivo-d a couple of episodes. One night, Nordic Boy and I were hanging out, and I turned it on. And for the next hour, we sat there in absolute silence. Our jaws were agape. Our eyes couldn’t look away. WOW. Listen, all you parents out there, do not send me hate mail when I say what I am about to say. That show? That show was the epitome of Librarian Girl’s own personal hell on earth. I’m not judging Kate and Jon and their gaggle of little ones. They seem happy. But dude, I’m serious as a heart attack when I tell you that imagining myself in a situation even half as kid-filled as that makes me nauseous. I would rather take Carrot Top, Pauly Shore, Ron Jeremy, and my 7th grade math teacher who had dandruff in his eyebrows out on a date than be anywhere near that situation. I am talking about choosing a romantic date with all of them over proximity to Jon and Kate. Hell, a naked date with all of them. I think I am through with TLC for a good while. That traumatized me.
Weekly Wow: Have you ever heard of Design Within Reach? I like that place. Mid-century modern makes me feel like unicorns and rainbows and fuzzy slippers, so when I discovered that store, I was down with it. And after I bought a few items from there, they started sending me catalogs. This week, I got their holiday catalog, with all their gift ideas in it. Who the hell buys stuff from a furniture store when they are shopping for gifts? Here Aunt Betty, I bought you an Eames chair! If that weren’t enough, they had this item for sale. A drain plug. For SEVENTY DOLLARS. Are you friggin’ kidding me? It’s a DRAIN PLUG. That thing better be able to make jelly doughnuts and rake up my leaves for that amount of cash. Design Within Reach? More like Design Outta Touch. Or Design Batshit Crazy.
Weekly Worst Moment: Last year, as you may remember, we had to be lights-out party-pooper house on Halloween. Now that our yard is safe (still ugly, but no one will die if they cross the property line), we were all excited to hand out candy. Our neighborhood is full of kids and we were going to dole out the sugar and ooh and ahh at all the pirates and princesses! We were ready! And you know what? No one came! Not one trick or treater! Our streets were empty. I guess the thing to do now is for kids to go to Halloween parties or to trick or treat in shopping centers and stuff. So that was crap. At least we have the three bags of Snickers Minis to make us feel better.
Weekly Best Moment: Birthday Month was brought to a close with a super scrumptious dinner out on the town with my friend H. She picked me up, she took me to a restaurant that had disarmingly romantic lighting, we ate a bucket of yam fries (you know it’s a truly fancy restaurant when you can still feel ladylike while eating out of a bucket) and had matching dinners of puff pastry filled with portobella mushrooms, leeks and mushroom-pecan pâté, and had what I adore most in the world: good conversation. It was birthday-rific on all levels, made me feel very appreciated, and just the sort of event that I had been craving all month.
Weekly Photo: This week, Seattle-ites were blessed with something that we don’t often get. A week of sunny, crisp, clear autumn days. When I was growing up in the Midwest, fall was my favorite season because of days like this. The orange crunchy leaves, the blue sky. There’s something about the combination of those two colors together that make me really happy. Since I moved here, those kind of days have been few and far between, and I have learned to not expect a string of days like that all in a row. But this week. It was loverly. I went for a walk around the lake near my house and felt glad that even though I live in the city I can see stuff like this.