Oh no I di’n’t!
I didn’t do an installment of the Weeklies last week. Should I acknowledge that I didn’t do it or just not mention it and go on as if I did and do one this week like everything is right on schedule? Guess that option is moot since I just said that. Can I just say that the word moot always, always reminds me of the skit on SNL a long, long time ago (maybe in the 80s) where Jessie Jackson keeps saying “the question is moot!” I have no recollection of what the skit was about, or why he kept saying it, or if it was even funny at all, but it’s burned into my brain.
So now that you know that I missed the Weekly last week, what should I do? Call this Weekly # 4 and write about last week? Or call it Weekly #5 and skip this week? It just now occurs to me that you don’t give a flying fig what I do with my Weekly. That’s right, it just occurred to me just right then and not a moment before. Took me that long. I end up figuring things out, if you just give me long enough.
Weekly Version 4.5– The Four-Point-Five-Peat
Weekly TeeVee: So, I watched the Bachelor. Had never seen it before, and so I decided it was time. All I have to say is ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Are. You. Friggin’. Kidding. MEEEEE. That’s all I have to say about that. Also, I took Journeyman off the Tivo list. I wanted to give it a chance. I wanted it to be an updated, sleek, new millenium Quantum Leap, starring the B-list Daniel Craig. But I just couldn’t eat the shit that was being served up. No one ever communicates in the show, EVER. Every scene goes like this:
Daniel Craig-ish: I have leaped back in time! I have so many questions about why this is happening!
Other character who has answers to why this is happening: Hey Daniel.
Daniel: Hey. What’s up?
Other character: Nothing much.
Daniel: (banter, banter, meaningless banter)
Other character: (banter, banter)
Daniel: Oh! I am about to leap back! Too bad I never asked you any questions!
Other character: Obviously, you are a dumb ass.
So, I am leaping back to a time when I didn’t watch Journeyman. And look at that! I gained an hour of my life back!
Weekly Music: I have recently (and temporarily) changed work locations. For the next couple months, I no longer have the luxury of my usual 5-minute commute. I have to actually get in my car and drive every day, for about a half hour. This is such a novelty to me I can’t even tell you. There are many crappy things about commuting, which I won’t get into right this minute. But, there is one awesome thing about commuting. Quality time with my iPod. I plug that baby in and the party is ON. You know how some schools these days have “sustained reading” periods for students? This is “sustained listening.” It’s lovely, really. So if you’re driving in rush hour traffic through Seattle and you see a black-haired lady in her car, bouncing to the beat of “Don’t Leave Me This Way” by Thelma Houston (shut up, like you don’t have cheesy songs on your iPod) and singing her heart out, that would be me. “Awwwww BAY-BEH!”
Weekly Worst Moment:
Last week, I found out my mom, who has been sick for the past week or so, actually has pneumonia. I also found out that two other close family members aren’t doing so well in the health department. There’s not much in life that scares me. Talk to me about ghosts, monsters, serial killers, spiders, rats, heights, what have you, and I am fine. But serious health issues for loved ones? That scares me. Well, that and Walmart.
Weekly Best Moment:
1. Serious Best Moment: Learning that my mom was on the mend.
2. Silly Best Moment: I was reading a newsletter from the city government that we got in the mail, and it referenced having a “Family Disaster Plan.” I looked at Nordic Boy and said “Hey, do we have a Family Disaster Plan?” and he looked apologetic, shrugged his shoulders, and offered this up: “Sure. Run for the hills?”
3. Synchronicitous (yes that is too a word) Best Moment: My friends H and R came over to play 80s Trivial Pursuit the other night. I think they know more stupid pop culture stuff than me. I heart that.
4. Aww Shucks Best Moment: Well-wishers rock. I had a work change this week and the people who went out of their way to wish me well and say a kind word about it rock out, hard core.
Weekly Photo: I saw this dude across the street from me in the biggest pair of rainbow camo hammerpants walking down the street. I wanted to take a photo but I didn’t have the bawls. So I took a photo of the street where he had just been. Can you see the hammerpants vapor trail?