Whine Seller

You know, for a personal blog, I think that I do a pretty good job of keeping the whining to a minimum. Don’t I? Ok, so there was the post recently about my hairstylist opening up a can of whoop-ass on my head. I would say that was more enraged, and less whiny, but I’ll give you that one. I can see how that would qualify in the whine department. And I am predisposed to whine a bit about how cold I am alla time. But hey, think about what it would mean to go through life feeling like you were in a meat locker 24 hours a day. It’s surprising I don’t complain about that a bit more, really. These are things that were partly whiny, but a 100% textbook Whine has yet to happen on this here spoutfest of mine. UNTIL TODAY!

You’re so excited to keep reading. The anticipation is palpable.

Here’s the deal. I am already a bit annoyed with myself, and I haven’t even started to tell you yet. Just imagine how annoyed you’re going to be! My gift to you, people.

You know how I feel about birthdays. They are, to me, a huge honking deal. There is nothing more loving to me than acknowledging someone’s birthday. I love doing it. Love it. The idea that there is a designated day to shower someone you love with, well, LOVE, and treat them all special and stuff, and give them a big heaping pile of attention is just beautiful to me. Because people deserve attention, just for their sheer them-ness. Not because they fulfill a specific role or identity, not for doing something extra, just for existing. I mean, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day, wedding showers, baby showers– they’re all great, don’t get me wrong, I am all for them and always participate in them with gusto. But those days are for honoring something specific about someone. Hey, thanks for doing all that Mom stuff- Happy Mother’s Day! That’s cool, and deserved. Hey, I think it’s swell that you’re legally in love with someone, happy wedding shower! (Is that what weddings mean? I don’t really know. Sorry, that one has always confused me). But a birthday? The only qualification for this is that YOU WERE BORN. That’s it. You were born and so you get to have a day! It’s the perfect thing to showcase the fact that you are enough. Just you. How you are. Mom or not. Young or not. Partnered or not. You deserve a party and cake and presents and everyone smiling and hugging you and telling you you are fabulous. Just for BEING. I can’t express to you how, on a Deep Philosophical Level, this speaks to me. I believe in birthdays. Like, it’s part of my moral code. Or something. Whatever.

So, in a couple of weeks, it’s my birthday. (Bet you were wondering when the whining was going to start. Wait no more. Release your bated breath!) And for the life of me, I could not decide what the hell I wanted to do for my day. Should I throw a party? Should I invite my pals to a show? Should I take trip? Get a tattoo? Go bowling? Go dancing? I could not decide. Still can’t. The day creeps up, and I have no Big Plans for the Day of Me-ness. Why? What was holding up the party train?

You know what it is? I finally figured it out. People out there do not give a rat’s ass about birthdays. They really don’t. And the older I get, the more I am starting to feel like I am the sole cheerleader for birthdays, and this here cheerleader is getting kind of tired. Why be the only one cheering for something that no one really seems to care about? Why be the only one who shows up to the theater to see Ishtar? Maybe everyone else is right. Maybe weddings and babies and getting jobs and leaving jobs and graduating and all that stuff is when it’s appropriate to have a party. Maybe people need all that stuff to get it up, and just being is not good enough for a trip to woot-ville.

I don’t know. I’m losing the birthday faith, people. I just am. After all these years of carrying the torch forward, I may just have to put it down. I came to the screeching realization the other day that, aside from my mom, my dad, and my Nordic Boy, no one has ever planned anything for my birthday for me. It’s always me, getting my own goddamn cake and throwing my own goddamn party and rallying the troops to celebrate me. Please, come on, let’s celebrate me. Kind of pathetic, actually.

That’s what I’m thinking. I told you it was whiny. Just give me a day or two. I’ll be less stupid next post. (Notice I didn’t say I wouldn’t be stupid. Just LESS stupid. Less.)

Tell me, what was the best birthday present anyone ever got you?

I’m out,
Librarian Girl

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27 comments

  1. I hear ya, girl. I used to throw myself an annual karaoke birthday party – which I gotta admit was pretty freakin awesome! I don’t do that anymore, though. =(Best birthday present EVER… Most recently, tickets to the American Idol concert tour, and a plane ticket so I could go to a huge country music festival in Minnesota – the ticket to the festival was paid for, too!!

  2. I’ve thrown my own too ~ 30th was with help from friends with live music, a scavenger hunt, and a drunken visit from my ex afterward. My 40th was at a hotel suite in Downtown Seattle, potluck food, no gifts, just lots of friends. I celebrated my 45th a few days ago, well, I’m still celebrating since I’m on vacation and seeing many friends and family for lunches, dinners, desserts, etc. That’s the best kind for me. But the highlite this year was a handmade card from a new special someone in my life, I won’t quote the outside sentiment, but inside it says “Fold at 45 degree angle, Put on desk, Gloat.” “Happy 1st Birthday, Love T.” Along with some Aromatherapy seductively scented candles ….. now THAT’S cool!

  3. I planned my own party this year…but then a friend did too. It was a surprise to me that someone would do that. So I had two parties, but they were both fun.And this week we are having two more birthdays in my group of friends. For one we are having a make a pizza party (which I told you about) and the other is going to be cocktails and some fancy home cooked french food. We didn’t really start doing these until this year though. Don’t lose hope!

  4. Duuuuuude, I am also a birthday NUT! But am also in the same predicament, My 40th is this year and I want to make a big deal out of it but no one else does! (Bastards)Best birthday present? hmmmm…wow…all of them are awesome don’t you think?

  5. I’ve had ‘friends’ complain about me remembering their birthdays “Oh, you. You always remember birthdays. I feel so bad. I never remember yours.”Uh, yeah. I know. I feel bad about it too. Why did I just spend all this time making you a card and spending all this money on you?It sucks not to get a little reciprocation.

  6. Don’t feel bad. Sometimes people see things in their own way. Like inna ‘I’am from a different planet’ sort of. I say you throw that party and do it like a rock star baby!!! Best birthday present was a Barbie doll house from my aunt when I was 9 years old.Happy birthday librarian wonder =)

  7. Oh Librarian Girl, don’t lose the birthday faith! But yeah, I hear you – you need to get some birthday love back, or it gets old.Best bday gift? My whole family has summer birthdays, so get to do stuff like swimming, picnics, BBQs, other outdoorsy things. Me? January. So for my 16th birthday, my dad flooded our yard, made a kickass skating rink, dragged the bbq into the shed and grilled some burgers, stuffed some drinks into snowbanks and we had ourselves an outdoors partay. Big love, for sure. 🙂

  8. you are not alone, librarian girl. all of us birthday boosters should get together and celebrate the hell out of our own special days and let the unthoughtful fend for themselves.the best birthday present i got was a surprise party when i thought everyone had forgotten about me. but after that one, it sucked just a little bit more when they actually did forget.

  9. I’m with you, Sista Girl. I believe in birthdays the same way a four year old believes in Santa Claus, and for the same reason: it exists whether you believe in it or not. Best birthday present ever? My husband flying my favorite cousin into town for my birthday.

  10. I am a birthday nut too, but no one typically does anything for my birthday. A few years ago, the only people who remembered my birthday were my mom and my then-boyfriend. Boo.This year, I am planning a surprise birthday party for my husband’s 30th birthday, and I am so excited about it!

  11. I think the best birthday present I ever got was a surprise shindig for my 16th. Everyone I knew played the Sixteen Candles card on me and I was starting to get pissy since I too, liked to make huge-assy deals of my friends’/family member’s birthdays so it was such a relief when the surprise party happened. Sheesh. But yeah, since then nobody’s ever really planned anything out for me. My fave thing to do is spread it out for a week if you can and hang with people individually. Happy Birthday!!

  12. I’m totally with you on the birthdays! I usually throw my own party, all I want is for people to show up. It secretly pissed me off when people are late with gifts like its no big deal. But it is a big deal because its the thought the counts and I don’t care how much you spent on the gift if you can’t get it in the mail on time you didn’t put much thought into it. baring emergencies, death and illness. Ok obviously this has been bugging me for a while 🙂

  13. You birthday is in a couple of weeks? What’s the date? Mines in a few weeks too!My favorite gift was about 3-4 years ago. My daughter & all her friends went to WalMart & put bikinis on over their clothes and took pictures. They then framed in and around all the matting, her friends wrote me letters telling me how I impacted their lives. I cried for days.

  14. I plan a girlie-party for myself every year too. And I’m a birthday freak as well. I hardly get cards from people who aren’t super close to me. Even a free e-card! I man WTF people?What kills me is that when I send a card or e-card or whatever to people, they love it. They are always so thrilled that I rembered. But do I get the same in return? No. Not that I do that just to GET something in return, but you know what I mean.What I’m trying to say is, I understand. But please don’t give up. I’m here! There are more people like us! I promise!And I don’t remember my favorite gift. My problem is I put such high expectations on people that they can never live up to them. A sickness, I know.

  15. I can’t remember the ‘best’ birthday present I’ve gotten. I will say I love to get things that you can see someone put some thought into. not just a gift certificate or the standard issue bath stuff. All those are nice, but something thoughtful is greatness. Don’t feel bad, I always plan my own birthday parties. Sometimes I feel weird about that, but then I decide what the hell, I want a b-day party and the surefire way I know I’ll get one and like it is if I do the planning! Not that I wouldn’t love a surprise party…who wouldn’t?

  16. Indeed, why be the only person to show up at the theater to see Ishtar when you can go with a rockin’ bunch of great people to see Ishtar? One of the members of your list (ILoveIshtar@yahoogroups.com) is planning a singalong midnight showing of Ishtar, how cool is that???This 20th anniversary year is going to be a great year for Ishtar…There is a documentary film about Ishtar fandom in the works, the manager of the Ishtar fan website(http://www.ishtarthemovie.com/) is putting together a tribute CDfeaturing cover versions of songs from the movie, and possibly a USrelease on DVD (something the heathen in Europe have been enjoying for years). So shake off that square world, get with the countdown, and blast off to Ishtar!http://movies.groups.yahoo.com/group/ILoveIshtar/http://www.waitingforishtar.com/http://www.ishtarthemovie.com/

  17. It’s always snowing on my birthday, which is in early February, and it’s near impossible to get a big thing going. No one has ever thrown a party for me either. It could be that I’m not part of one big group–I have lots of friends scattered in different social circles. And a lot of my best friends are guys. :)My best birthday was my 23rd. I had dinner at my folks’ house and we all went to a college basketball game (family tradition; my dad used to coach). Then I went to a poetry reading late that night and read a new poem. My mom that year gave me a bunch of black and white family photos (depression era) matted and framed, and my bros gave me the Bob Dylan box set.Two birthdays ago, I stayed home and paid bills. I got lots of calls, but I didn’t answer my phone all day. This year, my coworker brought vegan pistachio/rosewater cupcakes, and that alone made my day. Later a group of coworkers went out for drinks, and as simple as that was, I felt deeply celebrated.I agree with you about the importance of birthdays–after all, some of us will never have a Mother’s Day or a wedding shower!

  18. I’ve always been anti-my-birthday, until recently. As a kid, every party my parents threw was an excuse for them to, well… party. They always ended up with them really drunk and fighting. So, I soon just gave up on the whole birthday gig thing.But my wife, for the past few years has always MADE me do something. We also have a friend that is all about birthday, and has really changed my views on the whole ordeal.Two years ago I walked into, what I thought was going to be a small little dinner and found all of my friends there. Also, she and my wife had hung hundreds of pictures of me everywhere. It was strange, awkward, and special all at the same time. Pictures of me in the bathroom was a bit too far, though.

  19. I’m sorry to tell you that I am not a birthday person, generally. But the best gift I ever got was on my birthday 2 years ago. My mom had been ill the previous year. Selfishly, I started thinking things like “she may not make it to my birthday.” Things turned out OK, and I spent the whole damn b-day with my ma. It was really the only time recently that I’ve been into doing something on my day. And that I truly felt like celebrating it.

  20. In my circle of friends, we’ve gotten into the habit of always having a get-together for each person’s birthday. Even if we don’t do anything fancy, we always do something, and the birthday-haver gets to choose.I think that your Belief in Birthdays is a really good thing…too often people get too caught up in being grown-up and forget how joyous it can be to just celebrate once in a while.So, I promise I’ll keep believing in birthdays, even though I’m drawing a blank on the best birthday gift ever.Keep the faith!

  21. My mother of nine children (see my blog for her photo) has always made it start off right with an early morning phone call. She sings Happy Birthday with enthusiasm (and the correct tune) just for me. I love it. For this reason, I love my birthday, too, no matter what else happens (or doesn’t happen) that day.Best b-day present ever? That’s a tough one….I have to say that I love the coupons my daughter made me last year: ten “sock sorting” coupons. NICE!

  22. Hi Librarian Goddess,I’ll sign up to be on that cheer team, as long as we can give a shout out to Thanksgiving.The Husband’s birthday is tomorrow and I plan to make it great. Birthdays ARE special because they are all about you. My best present took me all day to decide on and I can’t decide between these three. My 13th, a surprise party when I was away from home. My 16th, which included my car plate PHYLIZ. Long story but a good one. AND 3 parties. And this past bday party. This is getting more like a post and not a comment. But the theme is when you are made to feel special, it’s the best gift EVER!Cheers to birthdays!

  23. I’m with you on celebrating birthdays. I’m constantly baking cakes for people because a birthday without a cake? Hello? Best gift I ever got was when 20 of my friends pitched in for my 30th birthday to fly me back home to Montreal. Then they planned a monster pool party and we did the whirlpool. Good times.

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