Here’s what I know about Nora Ephron.
1. She wrote all three of The Meg Ryan Trifecta movies: When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, and You’ve Got Mail. I can go with the first one, the second two make me go into a sugar coma where my eyes roll back into my head and my hands and feet spasm uncomfortably.
2. She appeared on the Oprah show this one time when all these celebrity guests were all “getting older is getting better!” and “older women are like a fine wine!” and she was all “getting older sucks kibble, are you all kidding me?” It was like Gargamel was trying to fit in with the Smurfs. Somehow, the fact that the woman who came up with the line “don’t you think daisies are the friendliest flower?” was actually cynical and sarcastic in real life thoroughly entertained me.
3. She writes lots of books and stuff. Me = Librarian, hence I gotta bring it back to the codices and shit like that alla time.
3. She wrote an essay called “Where I Live” that talks about New York City, and lots of blogger-types are taking the concept and making it their own.
So that’s what I am going to do (steal the Where I Live concept). Yes, I am following a list with yet another list, all in one post. Sue me. Even though I haven’t read Nora’s essay (look at me all first name basis with the Meg-pusher) and I really don’t know how much I am bastardizing the idea, I shall go forth hencewith. Sorry in advance, Nora.
1. I live on the Planet Earth, which is apparently going to hell in a handbasket and has been doing so for some time. Oceans are messed up. The air is messed up. Animals are dying off whole species at a time. People like to kill each other up in a frenzy of disgustingness. I think about all of these things a lot. Despite this, I am generally in a good mood most of the time. This may mean that the greenhouse gases have gone to my brain. We may be going down, but I’m going down smiling. Yeah. I’m clearly delusional.
2. I live on a street where the neighbors know each other. They stop and say hi, they ask you how you’re doing. Except, I have noticed a distinct difference in the way they chat with me and the way they chat with Nordic Boy. The difference is that they don’t really chat with me at all. This has always been the case between the two of us- if given the chance people seem to automatically be drawn to Nordic Boy and I am totally chopped liver. Kids, dogs, people of all ages. This is really weird because, of the two of us, I am definitely the chattier. Nordic Boy can be downright monosyllabic at times. This kind of chaps my ass, can you tell?
3. I live on a piece of land that looks like ass. I keep telling myself that it will not always look this way and in fact my yard grows ever more charming by the week. When things do not look nice, they drive me batshit insane. I am not proud of this.
4. I live in a house that I can’t believe I own, like with papers and escrow and everything. I feel so frickin’ grown up when I think about it. And sort of rich too, even though that notion is more than a little laughable in the grand scheme of things. But having a house. Crikey. I still can’t quite get my mind around it.
5. I live with a Boy who says things like this: (handing me a smoothie for breakfast) “Here’s a smoothie for you-thie!” He makes me laugh. I’m an easy audience for this types of silliness, it’s true.
6. I live within walking distance of great thai food, indian food, deli, a farmer’s market, a food co-op, a library, a large body of water, a MAC store, an independent hardware store, pizza, bookstore, bakery, bike trail, and my neighborhood still manages to have tons of trees.
7. I live for a great night’s sleep. Awww baby.
8. I live far away from lots of people I love. Somehow they don’t feel far away.
9. I live with the fact that I will be never be warm more than 10% of the time and that I am apparently reptilian. Hiss, bitches! Hiss! My tongue be forked and my ass be rattling! I’m cold and I will BITE YOU.
Kiss the rings, I’m out.