Too Tired For Paragraphs

1. I’m not ignoring you. Really. My week is totally kicking my hiney right now. So much so, that I am saying the word “hiney.” I am also listening to a phonograph while sitting here in my pinafore.

2. I am so tired right now that I am doing that thing where, instead of blinking, I am just periodically closing my eyes for a second or two, and hoping no one notices.

3. I am tired because, for the past two days, my eyes have been popping open at 5:30 am. Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey! I have no explanation as to why this is happening. I fear it is because I am getting to be one of those old people that barely sleeps at night, naps throughout the day, and eats dinner at 3 in the afternoon. If I start to complain about those rotten kids, please help me.

4. I heard someone say the other day that they were laughing so hard that they were afraid that they needed “Depends” because they were going to pee their pants. Depends! Isn’t that funny? It’s DEPEND. As in, you can depend on it. Not depends, as in: will it keep you dry? Maybe, it depends.

5. The fact that I took the energy to think through whether adult diapers should be correctly identified as Depend or Depends is being added to the mounting evidence that I am turning into a ripe old granny.

6. I said mounting! Hee! Ok, I’m back to juvenile behavior again. Whew.

7. I have been having so much funny, entertaining library moments this week, it’s ridiculous. I can’t tell you about any of them though, lest I get dooced. But trust me, it can be the funnest, funniest place to work, ever.

8. I swore that I was going to get through the final Harry Potter book before my San Francisco trip. So not going to happen. However, I have perfected the two ways that exist to say Harry Potter with an English accent. You can either say it like he’s your best friend: “Harry Pottah!” or you can say it all evil style like Draco, like you’re spitting it out: “Harry Pottah.” Go ahead. Try it. You’ll see exactly what I mean.

9. God I’m tired.

10. Neighbor J dug up some photo from a “behind the scenes” thing about the Little House on the Prairie tv show. How freaky is this?

lhotp

What’s Harriet doing to Laura??? I am never sleeping again.

I will write a post that makes some kind of half-baked sense soon. Really.

Kiss the rings, I’m out.
Librarian Girl

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14 comments

  1. awe.. I feel you.. But looky there, youre going to San Fran. THAT alone will be fun. Im heading to NY tomorrow (opposites of the world I say)..And btw, I did try that Harry pottttt-er spit vs Harry pottah brit. I like Brit.

  2. 5.30am! Eeek! That happened to me too twice this week! Luckily as I’m such a lazy-arse, I shut my eyes and went right back to sleep. And usually slept through the alarm but nyeh *shrug shoulders* thems the breaks. No-one says Harry Potter better than Alan Rickman in his low grrrrowl: Pottttttteeeerrrrr!!! He rocks.

  3. I woke up at 5:30am today too–so annoying. I’m glad you explained that it was Depend not Depends. I’ve always referred to them as Depends (not that I refer to them often). Ohh, actually, now that I think of it, I have a ridiculous and embarrassing story that I will now share with the internets: when I was 10, I was obsessed with calling companies for free samples and after seeing a commercial for Depend with an 1800 number, I called. And when the customer service lady asked what I was currently using for my problem, I said “oh you know, a regular pad” not knowing that Depend was for incontinence and not for womanly things. I also said this in my 10 year old voice. They still sent me a free sample though!

  4. I requested the free sample of Depend under-things TOO!! I think I was in junior high. My mom got me in trouble when they came in the mail and she threw them away.Anyway, I hope your trip to San Fran makes things a little better for you!

  5. How far are you in Harry Pottah (insert british accent here)? Anyways, sounds like you’ve been having one of those weeks – haven’t lost your humor, though, so that’s a good thing.As for that Little House on the Prairie pic….wtf??? Is Laura getting caned? Holy shit.

  6. i’m still trying to work “Wotcher” into daily conversation, but it always comes out sounding so fake and nobody knows what the hell i’m saying.have fun in San Fran!

  7. I feel NO sympathy. I have to get up at 5:30 every frackin’ morning to be at school at 7:00. When the time changes, our elementary students are waiting for the bus in the pitch dark. They switched our schedules a few years ago so the high schools could start later and they could get more sleep. Makes a lot of sense, right?Oh, and as far as British stuff. My husband and I call people “wankers” all the time. From Buffy and Giles. Ya know?Get some rest.

  8. Yes, people would not believe what really happens daily at libraries. If they ever decide to do a reality TV show about it, people would keel over from shock. PS–I always say Depends, because it’s plural. Presumably, once you start using them you won’t suddenly cease having the need. But I see by their Official Web site that you are, in fact, correct. http://www.depend.com/products/products_all.asp?WT.srch=1&WT.mc_id=26742&IQ_ID=26742I shall never make that unfortunate mistake again. Thanks for setting me straight, LG.

  9. I’m so tired too that everything you wrote made sense. The baby is making me pee every morning at 3 AM. Then I get hungry and have to eat. Then I can’t go back to sleep. Oh this is fun!My hubby still isn’t through HP so no worries. At least the TWO of you are the last people on earth to finish it:-)

  10. That Depends… too funny. My friend always says that if I go see a certain movie I should bring my depends because I might piss myself laughing. Now I’m going to have to tell him it’s Depend, not Depends silly.

  11. oh gosh – i say “depends” too. and i hate it when people add an “s” where it shouldn’t be. case in point: barnes & noble. it’s barnes and noble. not barnes & nobles. it still irks me, but to get over my fussiness about it i have taken to using the spanish pronunciation: barnes y nobles (bar-nes e no-bles). more fun that way. it’s like say target with a french pronunciation. that probably annoys a lot of people too…

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