In Libraryland yesterday, I overheard a little kid argument. It ended with something like this:
Kid #1: Don’t say that! Stop saying that!
Kid #2: I can say that if I want to! Don’t you know this is AMERICA???
Oh say can you see? What a beautiful end to an argument that is? I took that phrase and put it right in my purse and took it home with me. I figure it applies to everything, not just speech. I tried to pick fights just so I could use it.
Me: Where’s my glass of water?
Nordic Boy: Oh, sorry, I thought you were done with it. I dumped it and washed it already.
Me: Don’t you touch my glass! This is AMERICA, buddy!
Nordic Boy: What?
A half hour later…
Nordic Boy: What time are we going out to dinner with H and J tomorrow night?
Me: Around 7.
Nordic Boy: Ok, I’ll be home around 6.
Me: You better be! Don’t you know this is AMERICA?
Nordic Boy: Oh jeez.
Me: Do you know what day next week you’re going to Portland?
Nordic Boy: No, not yet.
Me: When will you know?
Nordic Boy: I’ll know when I know! Don’t you know this is AMERICA?
How quickly he turns on me.
In other news, whoa, there has been so much de-lurking going on via email and comments! Muy exciting. I have been traipsing all around the innernets looking at all ya’lls blogs, and loving it! In the process, my blog friend over at Moving Right Along has tagged me with the Moaning Meme. Dirty! Not really. It’s the other kind of moaning, not the good kind. Too bad. Ok, here goes, my pretties.
5 people that will be annoyed that you tagged them
Why would I tag people who I think would be annoyed? If I really want to annoy you, I would find a much more sinister way of doing it than tagging you for a meme, like tying your shoelaces together or making you go on a date with Ryan Seacrest or something. And, if you were the type to be annoyed by being tagged for a meme, then really, you have too much time on your hands. Because memes are totally ignorable. You get tagged, you don’t want to do it, you don’t do it. Where does annoyance come into it? Does this make any sense to you at all? I am getting annoyed with this even as I type it. So maybe the answer to this question is I am annoyed at the way this question is annoying me.
4 things that should go into room 101 and be removed from the face of the earth
Disease, hunger, poverty, and ignorance. These are my answers and my name is Miss Washington. Now let’s get to the evening gown competition and then you can give me my god damn tiara.
3 things people do that make you want to shake them violently
Is it me or is this meme getting kind of hostile? I’m kind of scared of it. Go to Anger Management class, you crazy meme! I don’t usually want to shake people violently. Although it might be fun to put them in one of those exercise machines, you know, from the olden days, that they always had in cartoons? It was like a machine that had a big, human sized rubberband hooked to it. You would stand there, with part of the big rubberband around your ass, and you would lean back on it, and when you turned the machine on, it vibrated the rubberband and you like crazy. Let’s talk about the three people I would want to put in one of those. Ok, first, ME. Because it looks fun. Second, umm…ok how about I get three turns?
2 things you find yourself moaning about
SO DIRTY! I apologize for saying that again. I just can’t help it. Ok, I’m focusing. I moan if surroundings that are in my control (my house, my desk, my closet, myself) are messy or aesthetically unpleasing. I am not proud of this, but I accept it about myself. I also moan about the state of the world. Because a lot of it is jacked up, have you noticed this?
1 thing the above answers tell you about yourself
The word “moaning” makes me say the word “dirty!” This is not new news. It’s just nicely illustrated here. I don’t think I’ll tag anyone (as they might, apparently, be annoyed), and I don’t think I will ruminate more on what my anwers tell me about myself, as I fear it will lead to some sort of “it all means I’m crazy” conclusion. So I guess I’m not following the instructions to the letter, but don’t you guys know that this is AMERICA?
Kiss the rings, I’m out.