Phone Home

When Nordic Boy is away on business, we are in constant contact with one another. I don’t know how this habit started, and for some reason, I’m kind of embarrassed about this. Ok, maybe the reason is that Bio-Girl totally MADE FUN OF IT and I felt shame. SHAME! Which is really dumb for me to feel because Bio-Girl and I have a more joined-at-the-hip communication style than Nordic Boy and I do, so who is she to talk? Honestly. Nordic Boy calls me too much? Um, hi Bio-Girl, or should I say hi, pot– how’s that calling-the-kettle-black thing going?

So Nordic Boy calls me a lot when he’s gone. When he’s away on business, he usually has to go from meeting to meeting, from building site to building site, and so he calls me in between each, just to say hey. As the days go by, the check-in calls get more and more comical. Here’s a sampling.

7:00 am
Me (groggily): Hello?
Him: Hey babe, what are you doing?
Me: Sleeping!
Him: Dude, you have to get up! You’re going to be late!
Me: What? I don’t have to work until 9:30!
Him: I know!
Me: It’s only 7!
Him: It is? Oh, yeah. I guess it is. My first meeting is at 8.
Me: But that’s YOU. See, I’m a different person than you are. Remember?
Him: Yeah. Ha ha.
Me: (half into my pillow) It’s totally raining. What the hell is up with that?
Him: I can’t understand a word you just said. Go back to sleep.
Me: Bye.
Him: Bye.

Me: Hello?
Him: Hellooooo me-lay-deeeeee!
Me: Wow, we’re singing now?
Him: Oh yes, we aaaaaaaare!
Me: Okeeeee-dokeeeeee!
Him: What’s up?
Me: Just taking a break. What happened to the singing?
Him: So over it.
Me: That was quick.
Him: I’m shallow that way.
Me: What are you going to have for lunch?
Him: I don’t know. There’s a deli next to this building I’m at. Maybe that.
Me: Cool.
Him: Call you later.
Me: Bye.

Him: Hello?
Me: Look at that! Me calling YOU!
Him: Whoa!
Me: Are you so surprised?
Him: Totally!
Me: You’re so humoring me right now, aren’t you?
Him: A little.
Me: What’s up? How’s your day?
Him: I feel like Leonardo DeCaprio in the Aviator.
Me: “Show me all the blueprints, show me all the blueprints”?
Him: Totally. What’s going on with you?
Me: I’m wearing the wrong outfit today.
Him: What’s wrong with it?
Me: You really want me to go into it?
Him: If you can do it in 5 minutes. I’m walking to a meeting.
Me: Five minutes? Not going to happen.
Him: Tell me later.
Me: Bye.
Him: Bye.

4pm (on my voicemail)
Him: Hey sweetness, it’s 4pm and I am on my way to the last site of the day. Where are you? Breaking hearts and taking names? Are you at the top of the charts? Are you sticking it to the man? Are you fighting the power? I don’t even know what I’m saying. Aren’t you glad I called? Ok, hanging up. Love love love.

Me: Hey!
Him: Hey!
Me: I just had dinner with Sarah and it was so good.
Him: I just had dinner too and I bet it was better than yours.
Me: What’s with the contest?
Him: I’m just saying. It was better than yours. I know it.
Me: What did you have?
Him: I went to that Lebanese place on Hawthorne.
Me: AWWWWW! My favorite place!
Him: I know. It was right down the street from where my last meeting was.
Me: So obviously how could you not take advantage of that and go there?
Him: Exactly.
Me: I would have been mad at you had you NOT gone there.
Him: I know.
Me: Yet, I’m kind of mad at you for getting to go there without me.
Him: I know that too. But, believe me when I say this. I went there all for the love of you.
Me: Shut up, you went there for the grape leaves.
Him: “‘Cause I’m your ladyyyyyy, and you are my maaaaaan…”
Me: First of all, you’re singing our genders backwards. Second of all, Celine Dion never makes me feel LESS anger.
Him: “Whenever you reeeeach for meeeeee….I’ll drive in my vaaaaan.”
Me: You’ll drive in your van when I reach for you?
Him: If I had a van, I totally would.
Me: Call me later.
Him: Bye.

Kiss the rings, I’m out.
Librarian Girl


  1. I swear to Jesus Christ you two are the funniest people I know. And now all I can think about is grape leaves…damn you!

  2. I stumbled on your blog recently. Good stuff! Just wanted to say I totally had a similar kind of relationship…we talked like 1000 times a day! It’s kinda nice to know someone is thinking of you as much as you’re thinking of them. 🙂

  3. LOL thats funny. My conversations normally go like:me: babe where are you at?him: work you called me at workme: oh. *silence*him: *silence* I’m busy oh.Your man is sweet!

  4. Okay, I’m totally the pot on this one. I’m happy to share your talky time as long as there is enough to go around! And I’m sure I’ll grow out of it…you know, when we are like 16.

  5. aha! sounds like us! the professor taught in North Dakota this summer, so we talked on the phone:me: heyprof: hello sweetheart. whats up?me: i’m sitting by the river eating its raining hereme: this bottled water tastes badprof: we went to target today after classme: how much did you spend?prof: hey! my roomy is going to grad school at the same place you did your undergrad? Did I tell you that?me:super. ok, i’m going to take a walk love youme: love you. bye!random, nonsense, no connects. i love it. and we had those conversations 8 times a day.good times!xo,wdl

  6. When I call the boy I am half way into the conversation already so when he picks up its like”and then I need some French Vanilla creamer and did you see the story about the guy who, oh wait you know what? take out the recycle…”He usually waits for a breath and says Hey sunshine. Then I start over.

  7. So. Cute. And now that song shall be in my head for the rest of the day. “We’re heaaaading for sooooomewhere…” P.S. I am not complaining.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s