Days off

Whenever I have a day off/weekend, I have a friend at work who says, when I come back, because it’s what you say if you are polite and have had good home-training: “How was your day off?” The other day, when I replied, she said: “can I ask you what the HECK you are doing on your days off? Because every time I ask you, you are all ‘IT WAS THE BEST DAY OFF EVER OMG SO GREAT.'”

Homies, I was mortified. I am being tres obnoksh about my days off! But the thing is, the love, it is real. I DO love my days off, and rock them hard like a, like a, I don’t know, a Day Off Rocker. This is how I rock a weekend day off. I am not saying it is for everyone, I mean, you do you, but for me, it works so well that I scare my co-workers with enthusiasm and wet-eyed nostalgia when I return to work. I challenge you to make a list of items that make your days off perfect, and then recreate. Self care, y’all.  Here’s mine.

  1. I do not sleep in. I KNOW I KNOW I HAVE LOST YOU ALREADY. I do have an inner Chris Traeger sometimes, and I acknowledge it can be annoying. But if you wake up you can cram more fun in, is the thing.
  2. Ok so I wake up early, but I lollygag in the bed. Reading in bed on a day off morning is the best and worth waking up for. Also, if one has a bed-mate, you know, one could snuggle them or something. I’m just saying, I don’t know, have some adult touching time. I feel like you are getting uncomfortable with this part so MOVING ON.
  3. There is a spot in my living room that catches the sunlight just right on a cold, crisp morning. This is where I have my morning tea. If it is gloomy and raining, I have a corner section of my couch where I can park it. In the summer, I go outside on the deck. I know where I am parking my butt for morning tea according to weather, is I guess what I am saying.
  4. I love a fancy breakfast on a day off! Make some pancakes, do up an egg sandy, go out to a breakfast joint.
  5. I make some space to do something productive, but I BOOKEND IT. Need to do house chores? Go to the grocery store? I set aside a specific couple of hours and KNOCK IT OUT AND THEN I AM DONE. I do not spread it out or let it hang over my head. Just do it, fast and scheduled in a block.
  6. Speaking of household chores, I couple that up with some audiobook/podcast time. Makes folding the laundry something I actually want to do.
  7. Make a social plan. I am a solid ambivert. I like to be around people, and I also like my solo time. This means I try to make space for both. For me, two social plans with friends per weekend is a chill minimum amount. Plus one outing of some sort with the dude. (My dude, not The Dude).
  8. Take a walk, read a book, stare out the window. Gots to have the unstructured solo time. So luxurious.
  9. 30 minute nap! More than one of you want! This helps if you, like me, stay up late and wake up early. Warning: more than an hour nap and I risk feeling like a groggy froggy.
  10. If at all possible, (I know, sometimes you gotta, but) DON’T DO WORK WORK. ESPECIALLY EMAILS.

This is my own personal recipe for a great weekend, according to me. A Me-kend. Y’ALL I JUST SAID ME-KEND. I should go now. Ok, going now. Bye.

From Sun to Sog

Whereas Hayden’s love for the city of LA might be described as Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail where she is like “I really do not like you, Tom Hanks, except wait, what is happening, now I am up close and OMG I LOVE YOU,” my love for LA is more along the lines of Maria in West Side Story, being all in from the get go, just “My hands are cold, you’re so warm, so beautiful…TONIGHT, TONIGHT LET’S MAKE THIS ENDLESS DAY ENDLESS NAAAAAAAAAAHT” Yeah, I know those are New York movies, whatever.

I had a gorgeous, beautiful, perfect birthday in LA. To sum it up, for my birthday dinner I got a gigundo plate of potato/mushroom tacos for five bucks while a dj spun a re-mixed “I’m Free” by Kenny Loggins, and my dude was there, and my dearest Hayden and her beauteous fam and some new friends and I was wearing a sundress and sandals in October. I VOTE YES ON THIS EXPERIENCE.

Now, we are back in Seattle and it is like someone is wringing a gigantic wet sponge over the entire city and the sunlight has been turned off. So. A little contrast, you might say. Plus it is really hard on my no-gortex fashion policy. I probably shouldn’t joke, since we keep hearing that shit could go really bad for us over the weekend, like 100 mile an hour winds and stuff? Sheeeeeeeeeeeet. Wish us luck.

IRCM: Travel Edition

Rekha can plan the hell out of a travel day, you guys.

I just got to go to LA with her. I have only been to LA a handful of times, and every time, before I go, I think, “I am probably not going to like this.” LA seems like the kind of place I wouldn’t be into: I don’t like cars and driving very much, really hate strip malls, and although I do love the sun, I can only be out in it for a few minutes at a time without more or less bursting into flames.

But you know what? LA is awesome. It’s strange and silly, and even the strip malls are filled with cool shit. Rekha planned the itinerary below.

Santa Monica Pier



Photo taken from atop the ferris wheel, natch.

A good example of the FABULOUS CHEESINESS that is the greater LA area. I love a ridiculous miniature amusement park in any setting, but put it on a beach and I am SO in.


Also it was 90 degrees the day we were there, so it it was nice to stick our feet in the water after wandering the pier.

Also it is possible that my family discovered that this pier is lousy with Pokemon.


The Gettygetty

Whoa this place is awesome.

First of all, it’s FREE (what??) except for parking. We didn’t even make it to the amazing art collections – there’s a beautiful garden, a sculpture park, great views, lots of fancy architecture.

Next time I go to LA, this place is getting a full day.


Griffith Park Observatoryimg_4632

LOOK AT THIS SCIENCE EXHIBIT. Behold, for it is a timeline of the universe displayed in BROOCHES AND OTHER COSTUME JEWELRY.



And in that way, it is very similar to Rekha.


Hooray for Hollywoo

Day of Birthington

So I don’t know if you heard, what with us being so super chill and quiet about it, but it was my birthday last week. I know! We really should talk about it, considering we have basically kept it a secret up til now.

There was, as is my habit, a lot of Taking Stock around my birthday. Bless my heart, I love to have a What Does It All Mean convo with myself and having a birthday gives me permission to let it rip. One of the things I kept thinking about was how my life has turned out as a grown ass lady. I had very specific plans for myself as a youth and not one thing about it has come to pass. NOT ONE THING. Hey kids, planning is for suckers. Let’s break it down.

First of all, the fact that I am not making a living in some sort of artistic endeavor CONTINUES TO BLOW MY MIND. How did this happen? I live in the heart (sometimes the balls) of Libraryland now, probably for the long haul. When I think of the hours, days, weeks, years that I put in, painstakingly learning and practicing artisms, and how much joy that gave to me and how got-damned sure I was that that would always be my life? Nope, none of that. I really called that one wrong.

Second, this relationship stuff? WHAT. I was a kid who never pictured myself partnered up. All the way up into my 20s I was so not into that idea. I mean, ugh, WHO NEEDS DUDES, am I right? Who wants that shit getting in the way? NO THANKS. Except, um, there does seem to be this dude here now, and who has been here for many years, and has not brought any trifling Dude Shit into my life in any way, and I sort of love him more and more all the time. Huh. Look at that. Go figure.

Third, and this is sort of related to the No-Dude policy that I had, but I really thought I would be living in some sort of lady-pal utopia. Like, I would have this group of lady friends and we would all be super tight and hang out all the time and be each other’s family and eat cheesecake late at night like the Golden Girls and talk every day like the ladies on Girlfriends. Instead, what I did was move to a city of introverts where dropping by unannounced is Just Not a Thing and talking more than once every couple of weeks is Out of Bounds (y’all I love you if you fall into this category so don’t be mad about me calling it out but YOU KNOW I’M NOT LYING. RHODA AND MARY TYLER MOORE WERE ALWAYS UP FOR THE HANGOUT IS ALL I AM SAYING). So, no BFFs living next door for me. Booooooo, adulthood.

However, here’s the thing you guys. My life? It is the Greatest of All Time, ie the GOAT. Turns out I am pretty good at this library thing, and I get to work with amazing people and learn new things constantly and advocate for social justice, and I can be proud of myself for bringing integrity, and kindness, and humor, and collaboration to my work every day. I know we aren’t supposed to say these things, but I’m gonna. I work really hard, and I feel good about what that work is doing in the world and how I’m conducting myself in it. And I have this amazing person partnered up with me in life who supports my being my most authentic self, respects my personhood, and always, and I mean always, has been kind and unconditional to me with incredible consistency each and every single day since dinosaur times. Plus we laugh until our guts bust up and he’s sexy AF. Not sure how this happened, because I certainly wasn’t in the market for it, but there you go. And I may not have my little group of ladies to hang out on the lanai with every day, but I have my soul sisters all over the country who sustain me via phone calls, visits, texts. From Michigan to Illinois to California to New York to Wisconsin to DC to yes, Washington State, they create a patchwork of beautiful support that comes my way when it counts, and I love them with all my heart and they love me.

I have friendship and love and an awesome fam and meaningful work and laughs and comfort and energy and experiences and and and and and. I don’t sleep a lot because I have so much living to do in my days, I cannot WAIT for it happen. I get up early and go until I run out of steam and then go again and again and again. Some people in my life think I should slow down (that’s an argument for another time) but how can I when there’s so much life to be lived? I know that sometimes I can seem like I have rainbows shooting out of my ears and I can imagine how annoying this can be. But honestly. This life is so exquisite. It takes my breath away if I think about it. And I do think about it. Who knew things would turn out this way? My 15-year-old self was wrong on all of her predictions, but she (omg talking about myself in the third person STOP) was right at the core: she wanted a life full of love and creativity. What that love looks like and how that creativity happens turned out to be very different than expected, but the hope was the same.

A co-worker asked me the other day why I always get up so early and I said “FEAR OF DEATH, TBH” and it was a joke but really it wasn’t. We are only here for a short while, my loves. I want to be awake and doing something for as much of it as I possibly can, no time to fuck around, for serious. It’s a beautiful life that I’ve made. Maybe that’s the best kind of art I could’ve done.


(Madonna, Ray of Light)

International Rekha Celebration DAY!!!


I missed a couple of days of posting, so here are some Rekha facts to get caught up:

  1. Rekha is really good at getting rid of stuff, and her home always looks lovely and feels orderly as a result. I read Marie Kondo’s book, but when I’m trying to decide whether or not to get rid of something, I ask myself if Rekha would keep it around.
  2. Rekha understands why Sister Wives is a good and important television program.

    Sister Wives: We have hands

    (Speaking of which: WHATTT??? I gotta get caught up on my SW news.)

  3. Girl has kind of a crazy job – like one of those jobs that asks you to do about 20% more than you possibly could. (20% is an underestimate really.) BUT she still manages to conduct herself as a person, rather than the walking stressball I would be if I were her.

So! Hey! Birthdayyyy!!!!

I know lots of y’all have been reading this blog for a while. Maybe today leave a comment with a reason why? I’m sure you’ve got a million of them!

Happy birthday, Rekha. I sure am lucky to know you, and excited to continue the celebration of you all month long.


You’ve Got a Friend (Cuz I said so)

Two things are becoming clear. One, Hayden thinks that I should be on the Bachelor. I know this because she has used the universal language across all Bachelor seasons that signifies a good contestant: she has deemed that I “put myself out there.” This is a phrase that is most often used to dismiss a bad contestant– “she just didn’t put herself out there”– so to say that I am doing the opposite means that at the very least I am still in the running to be offered a rose. This a great news! Two, I think that she has added data to my growing data set that for those most important to me in my life, I boss them into being my friend. I bossed my dude to hang out with me when we first met, even. If you are a close friend to me, think about it: how did we become friends and is it because I kind of made you? Aggressive friendliness: it is a common practice in Flint, where I grew up, and a cultural hallmark of Fiji where my family is from. I have significantly tamed this impulse in Seattle, where people do everything they can to not cultivate friends, and I will boss you only if you seem like you want me to. Most people I know are hanging out a figurative shingle on themselves that says “I MAY HANG OUT SOMETIMES IF I REALLY HAVE TO BUT DON’T GET ANY CLOSER” and I am good at heeding that sign because ain’t nobody got time for that BUT if you seem like you kinda want to be for reals friends? BOSSYPANTS ARE READY TO BE WORN. I am glad Hayden is ok with my predatory friendship ways.

Subject change! I went to see my nephew in his very first crew race this weekend and I don’t even understand what I saw, y’all. I was a very disciplined teen myself, what with the dancey dance and all, but the fact that he has chosen, of all of the things in life, to do a thing that requires him to get up at the crack of ASS really does not make sense to me. I did not wake up early as a teen unless someone was making me. Ok, well, I take that back- my friends and I used to sometimes get up at 4 or 5am to go get a fricking hashbrown at McDonald’s before school and hang out but that’s only because we often never went to sleep the night before, so I don’t know if that counts but ANYWAY. This kid is getting up early to exercise. WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THAT. I mean, I get up at 4 or 5am nowadays but I am an old crone that no longer requires sleep because I have my life regrets to fuel my brain. In fact, I have that to get back to right now. Very busy.

IRCM: More about my stuff than I intended

I don’t fully remember exactly how Rekha and I became friends – it was a gradual process through which she changed from someone I admired from afar to someone I admired from a lot closer up.

I do know that she made it happen – I am kind of crap at making new friends, although it’s something I continue to work on. I have always been SUPER shy, although now, after decades of practice, I can do a pretty good impersonation of a not-shy person. To the extent that people who’ve known me for a shorter time  are often surprised to hear that I’m an introvert. (It’s because I now talk too much, to compensate. Middle ground, very elusive!) But the place where my shyness especially still lingers  is in forming new friendships.

Anyway! This post is about Rekha, not my neurosis. The point is, she put in some legwork and started inviting me to stuff, and over to her house, and for walks, and before I knew it we were friends. Rekha is the kind of person who puts herself out there. People like that are kind of scarce.

IRCM: Fashionings

Rekha has mad fashion sense, and is known throughout our workplace as a fashion leader. Granted, we work in libraries, and sometimes the bar is not that high. BUT STILL. SHE LEAPS OVER IT. On the rare days I don’t see Rekha at work, I wonder what outfit I missed.

Obviously I also miss her delightful personality. But I’m in it, like, 20% for the shoes.

Swift Modesty


Hayden not only pops back up into the bloggy but then starts saying lovely things about me? I SWEAR SHE IS REAL AND A SEPARATE HUMAN PERSON FROM ME AND I AM NOT JUST PRETENDING TO BE HER AND POSTING BRAGS ABOUT MYSELF HONEST. I guess you will just have to take my word for it. I feel your skepticism.

Ok, about that Kardashian thing that Hayden said and how I stopped her from going on about it at our presentation. The thing is, that was not me being embarrassed. I am not the person who gets embarrassed about my Kardashian knowledge: I am the person that brings up Kardashians at parties and starts fights with people about them. Embarrassment is not part of my Kardashian lexicon. So now I must reveal to you that what actually happened that day was me being FALSE MODEST. So like, let’s pretend that Hayden had said up there: “this is the thing that most people don’t know about my co-presenter. She has a PhD in saving baby bunnies. She has singlehandedly invented a tiny defibrillator that helps these little sweeties live and…” You know what a genius does, in that situation? They pretend to be embarrassed and say “oh my goodness! I can’t believe you are bringing up this miracle invention of mine. Oh, I am so flustered, do stop, you generous flatterer!” We all know this. We learned it, if nothing else, from T-Swizz (sorry to have to bring her into this but I would very much like her to be included in this narrative):


(the face says: y’all are too kind! the brain says: I FUCKING INVENTED THE BUNNY DEFRIBBER)

It just so happens that, in my case, I didn’t invent anything, but I DO love to break down Kardashian lore using an intersectional feminist lens that includes a nuanced reading of performative gender roles as well as a critique of capitalism. I will talk about this at the slightest invitation, no shame. I don’t do a lot of things well but I mos def got this one. But when someone points out your genius, you say: aw shucks, so embarrassed! Please, stop! So mortifying! This is what I did. Now you know. That audience was just lucky I didn’t add “AND ALSO SISTER WIVES ON TLC TOO.”